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What lessons have you learned from previous relationships?

shelters

By shelters
in General Relationship Discussion

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blind_otter Established Member

blind_otter

Posted
Posted
What do you mean by, "Never date anyone for their potential?"

 

Sometimes, I find potential quite sexy...

 

Of course, my relationships have not always been the best... so I'm wondering exactly what you mean.

 

You should be with someone for who they are now. If they fail to live up to their dreams, you may resent them for it later. Or if they are full of s*** and their "aspirations" are just to impress you. f*** that, man.

blind_otter Established Member

blind_otter

Posted
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Pull a credit report and have a background check done on anybody that you are going to marry or live with in any capacity..

 

It would've saved me 175k of hard earned cash

 

Art, our relationship is doomed. I carry massive debt from my delightful exhusband may he rest in the federal pentientiary in Atlanta.

Art_Critic Established Member

Art_Critic

Posted
Posted
Art, our relationship is doomed. I carry massive debt from my delightful exhusband may he rest in the federal pentientiary in Atlanta.

 

Damn.. At least your telling me up front .. My exwife didn't tell me about her 50k in credit card debt until we had been married 6 months..

See.. I wouldn't have to pull a credit check then.. you are being honest about it upfront.. it is the deception you try to catch

 

He won't stay in Atl long.. they move them around every few months..

Do you ever look at the dept of corrrections website to see where he is at ?

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

Posted
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Art, our relationship is doomed. I carry massive debt from my delightful exhusband may he rest in the federal pentientiary in Atlanta.

hmmm...maybe you should cut out the fishing trips and take on a 2nd job as A_C's personal assistant :laugh:

blind_otter Established Member

blind_otter

Posted
Posted
hmmm...maybe you should cut out the fishing trips and take on a 2nd job as A_C's personal assistant :laugh:

 

I put in an application to be his new asian "ball polisher". I haven't heard back about the first round of interviews. :lmao:

 

But under skills I put "has strong knees"

Art_Critic Established Member

Art_Critic

Posted
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hmmm...maybe you should cut out the fishing trips and take on a 2nd job as A_C's personal assistant :laugh:

 

Yeah.. come on.. Help a Clown out....

blind_otter Established Member

blind_otter

Posted
Posted
Damn.. At least your telling me up front .. My exwife didn't tell me about her 50k in credit card debt until we had been married 6 months..

See.. I wouldn't have to pull a credit check then.. you are being honest about it upfront.. it is the deception you try to catch

 

He won't stay in Atl long.. they move them around every few months..

Do you ever look at the dept of corrrections website to see where he is at ?

 

He emailed me, after I stopped accepting his letters. here I thought that federal prisoners weren't allowed to email anyone. how lovely.

 

He's in alabama now, I believe. the further the better.

luvtoto Established Member

luvtoto

Posted
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that is why you the woman should always be the holder of the tape..

Excellent point! Never thought of that. My sex tape making days are NOT over. :p

luvtoto Established Member

luvtoto

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trust me LUVTOTO....he's still got it and he still watches it! he may have even transferred it to DVD :lmao:

He's married now. haha! I bet those two have fights about it.

 

It may even be on the internet. ha ah ahahhaaha aha hahh ahh ho ho.....I'll do a yahoo search for "luvtoto sex tapes" :)

Internet, huh? Ah..who cares. I could use a little scandal in my life about now. Been a little bored lately.

a4a Established Member

a4a

Posted
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what lesson have I learned from previous relationships?

 

Alway get the cash up front! :p

 

nah.......

 

I think I learned not to sweat the small stuff.

Ex Mrs. Soggy

Ex Mrs. Soggy

Posted
Posted

If your husband drinks so much that he urinates in bed you should divorce him at once.

honeybunch2k5 Established Member

honeybunch2k5

Posted
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I learned:

 

not to give more than I receive

Men are not mindreaders, you have to tell them what's going on in your head

if you don't, resentment builds over time

don't get your hopes up

RecordProducer Established Member

RecordProducer

Posted
Posted

My main lesson: I've learned to not settle for a guy who's not for me, who's worse than me in some/many aspects.

 

I've also learned that you can get over when you think you can't and you can do it pretty quickly ( a couple years in my last case).

 

I've learned to not look for a man with a child. I've learned to look for a man who would accept and love my children. Funny, huh? :D Go figure...

luvtoto Established Member

luvtoto

Posted
Posted

It's me, myself & I.

 

I can depend on myself.

mental_traveller Established Member

mental_traveller

Posted
Posted

Main lesson learned was that there's no reason to put up with other people's bullsh*t. The other was that dumping people quickly at the first sign of trouble is usually a wise course of action.

mental_traveller Established Member

mental_traveller

Posted
Posted
If your husband drinks so much that he urinates in bed you should divorce him at once.

 

ROFL

 

I would say that made me pee my pants, but it might trigger unpleasant memories ;)

Curmudgeon Established Member

Curmudgeon

Posted
Posted

Most of all I learned what things I would never again tolerate in a relationship. It's been a valuable lesson.

ms_jnj Established Member

ms_jnj

Posted
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Always, always, always demand respect, honesty and fidelity. Nothing a man has can make up for a lack of those three things.

 

...and that's the simple truth.

ms_jnj Established Member

ms_jnj

Posted
Posted
If your husband drinks so much that he urinates in bed you should divorce him at once.

 

 

I have learned this too...but with a boyfriend. I guess I should add it to my list! :D

ms_jnj Established Member

ms_jnj

Posted
Posted
What do you mean by, "Never date anyone for their potential?"

 

Sometimes, I find potential quite sexy...

 

Of course, my relationships have not always been the best... so I'm wondering exactly what you mean.

 

 

I think they mean (do correct me if I'm wrong) that you should never date anyone because of what they COULD be. They COULD be a romantic, they COULD stop drinking, they COULD be a great boyfriend/girlfriend, they COULD make a million dollars....technically every person COULD do a lot of fabulous things, but many do not even though they have the potential to.

 

So basically never date anyone because you think they COULD be something you want. If they are not now, or are not actively on the path towards it, you probably won't be able to change them into what you want. And you'll be left waiting and wondering about what could have been.

mental_traveller Established Member

mental_traveller

Posted
Posted
Most of all I learned what things I would never again tolerate in a relationship. It's been a valuable lesson.

 

Can you give some examples?

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