What do I do?

[just_want_her]

I have been with my girlfriend for two and a half years. We have always had a loving relationship and it's been great - usually. I am an extremely jealous person and I tend to be controlling at times. Lately we've been arguing a lot. We're both going to school full time, have jobs, and we have two cats and a dog. We're only 19, so I think that some part of her thinking is immaturity. I went down to my mom's house about 3 weeks ago. While I was down there, she was all sad and missing me and then she went out with her friends and said she didn't want to be with me and didn't want a relationship anymore. She changed her mind the next day. About a week after that, it happened again and she changed her mind again. Then last night we got into an argument and again she said she didn't want to be in a relationship anymore, couldn't deal with the stress, isn't happy, etc. I know I have probably made a mistake by crying and begging her not to do this, but I don't know any other way to react. Everyone is telling me to just give her her space and leave her alone and she'll realize that she wants to be with you. But I can't!!! It's soo much easier said than done. I want to believe so bad that if I let her go she'll eventually come back. But I don't know that she will and that scares me so much. The reason I've always been so controlling and jealous is because I didn't want to lose her - this is my worst nightmare. It might sound like i'm a little too obsessed or whatever, but we've been through so much together. We had to do a long distance relationship for the first 8 months of it. We've been through so much together and she's always said that she would do anything to save this relationship, she can't give up on a love like this, etc. but last night she sounded pretty sure of herself. I can't handle the thought of her not being here...we slept in different beds last night and I was waking up every hour or so and eventually just woke up for good at 6am. I went into the other room where she was sleeping and stood there for a second before she woke up and told me to lay with her. She cuddled me and then rolled over so I could cuddle her and everything seemed like it was going to be ok, but then she got up and was acting all strange again. I drove her to school and she kissed me, but when I asked her "isn't there any part of you that's telling you to stay?" she replied, "and what if i told you that there was? it'd just give you hope..." I don't...I can't...I just don't know what to do or say or anything. Everyone says that "oh you'll get over it" and "just let her miss you" and everything else, but I'm so scared that she won't miss me!! And if she does, will she really come back? Is she really over this relationship? She says she still loves me more than anything, she just doesn't want a relationship....I'm going to counseling tomorrow to talk about this because I can't handle it and I obviously can't talk to her about it...I want to stop crying every time I talk to her, and I want to stop begging her to stay but I can't help it!! I don't want her to want this!!!

 

Heartbroken

[lovesucks322]

Dude I understant exactly how you feel. I am myself going through the same situation only a little different. In your case you may have a big chance to turn things around by giving the space that she is asking for. From what I've read from other forums it seems to have strengthen the relationship by showing that you understand and that you respect their wishes. The partner will soon realize how much they miss you how important you are in their life. I know how you must feel if you do give them space. What if they really don't come back and what if she meets some other guy. I guess you are just gonna have to trust your feelings and believe in what you know about your gf. Like whether she is really the person to get over a relationship easily and be with another guy. Unfortunately for me I didn't really give my gf that space and tried to instead cling to her even more. Now we are broken up I am trying to figure out what to do next. Well this reply helped you out somehow. G-Luck!