GrUmPy1 Posted April 20, 2006 Posted April 20, 2006 ok please dont hate me after i post this, i feel bad about how i feel but i cant help it. ive been with my boyfriend for almost three years, we are engaged and we love each other alot. the thing is that over time we have started to argue alot more and this is were the fear comes in... i have this fear that now since we argue more he may have a crush on my best friend simply because she might seem less complicated than me. also along time ago i did the most retarded well second, (the first was his answer) thing ever i asked my boyfriend what he would rate my friend and he said 7. then i noticed that he sort of gets flirty, well maybe not flirty but he teases her alot and thats how we started out. i know that he wouldnt cheat on me, and i definately know she wouldnt do that to me but i cant help but get SUPER jealous. i have a picture of a group of us on new years and in the picture its me, him and her and he's slightly leaning closer to her and when i look at that i feel suffocated with worry and jealousy. she doesnt know any of this because i dont want her to feel weird around us and she doesnt do anything wrong. i have told my bf that he acts like a boy who has a crush on a girl, that he acts silly like he did when he was trying to get me and he keeps telling me that he doesnt think of her like that that he wants to marry me, that he only wants and needs me but still i cant help it. in the beginning i wanted them to get along and now it bothers me that he acts silly with her or jokes around with her. then i get sort of mad at my friend because when we do hang out together she sometimes wears stuff that makes her tits pop out and i think hello my bf is coming along can u wear something else but then i think, if im comfortable in my relationship shouldnt she be allowed to wear what ever she wants? im so confused! i dont want to push him towards her or even just away from me but i cant shake this off. i know i should trust them they have never ever given me any reason to doubt them but i just love him so much im afraid of losing him, not just to her but period. someone please tell me what can i do? is this normal to feel like this?
whichwayisup Posted April 21, 2006 Posted April 21, 2006 Do you think your bestfriend would even accept his advances IF he did make a move on her? Seems not only do you not trust him fully but her as well. I think honestly, these are your own issues and insecuries you're putting on yourself. Has he given you an actual REAL reason to worry? Has he actually said to you that she is easier to be around or more laid back? My guess is no, right? Well, again, these are conditions that you're putting on yourself and allowing yourself to think. It isn't the case. Take a step back and think about it. You've been with him for 3 years, you two are engaged. That is proof enough that he is into you and not her. Secondly, don't be asking questions like rating your friends - If you do, expect an answer you may not wanna hear. You asked, he told you, like it or not. What are you two fighting about? Is it over serious things or stupid things? Is it worth fighting over? Does someone have to be right and wrong during these arguements? Try not to worry so much! Enjoy your relationship! And just because he may enjoy some flirting doesn't mean he is going to jump ship!
JJx23 Posted May 1, 2006 Posted May 1, 2006 Well you are engaged and arguing comes with relationships. If this girl is your bestfriend, she wouldn't accept him right? You are engaged! I wouldn't worry about it. Over time he will know who he truly loves and that will be you.
PlentyLV007 Posted May 1, 2006 Posted May 1, 2006 When I was with my ex, my ex and my ex best friend were very close. There were so many times that I thought they were interested. My ex best friend at a time was hurt and upset at me for ever thinking of her that way. Now the reason I felt that way was because my ex had betrayed me, lied to me and made me believe that nothing was going on w/ his best friend when there was. From that point on I couldn't trust him w/ any female "friend". I tried to expalin to my ex best friend that it was more him than her. She got really upset at me and well it didn't change our friendship, she claimed that she would never do it, even if he did pursue her. Honestly....I didn't trust the situation. I had to go with my gutt feeling. Plus the past experience that I went through with him. It's hard. If you "see" signs that it could possibly happen then maybe it is. I'm not going to try to sugar coat stuff for you. It does happen. Just keep your head up! Always follow your heart! Good luck!
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