Lilly62180 Posted April 19, 2006 Posted April 19, 2006 Hi I stumbled upon this website while looking for answers online. I was hoping to read similar stories to mine, somewhere out in cyberspace. I just wanted to see if anyone has any insight on my problem. My bf and I have been together for over a year. We've known eachother for 11yrs, and were very close before finally taking things to the next level. Things were going great. He was recently having alot of job drama. Being overwhelmed w/ work, and work obligations, and I DO know this for a fact, because I have seen what his job entails with my own eyes. Before Xmas things were great. He was w/ Family on Xmas, he called me, you know the deal. After Christmas, I tried to call him just to see how he was and there was no answer. There were problems w/ the cell phone (his). I always got static. I know he lives in an area that doesn't get good reception and there's no way the static could be his fault. I got thru one night in Jan (after a month of not speaking. he never called ME). He said he never got any of my calls. Of course, I didn't believe him but I shut up and let him talk. He said he was overwhelmed w/ work (he does have to write at home alot, and the deadline was approaching), and he hasn't called anyone. Hasn't gone out. Nothing. We saw eachother the next week, and he said he was sorry that I felt ignored. He appologized for being so busy, and he hopes I wasn't getting too stressed out over it. The one time I saw him this year was nice. We rarely fight, and haven't fought at all around that time. If we did fight, it would be a stupid little arguement, that would be resolved pretty quickly. I went home and again, days passed without a word from him. I knew he got himself involved in another project. I don't really wanna name all the different jobs he does, but I do know for a fact he's telling the truth about the work. He does work alot. He took on this next job as a favor to his friend. After the project was over, 3 weeks passed without a word from him. We spoke on Valentine's day, and another occasion, and he seemed stressed and overwhelmed from work (like he was in over his head), and said he's just so busy right now. I was upset cuz we hardly spoke. I said if he really missed me he would MAKE time to call me. He was never a phone person though, and he was never one to initiate calls. Not even with his guy friends. That wasn't out of the ordinary. He's been like that forever. I would call several times a week, sometimes more than once a day but get that stupid static. He only has a cell phone, so I couldn't even call another line. I was worried in the back of my mind that he got tired of me, or found another girl. But with his schedule, I didn't know if he'd have TIME for another girl because he was always working. I decided that the other girl thing was probably not the reason, and that it was something else... Then after a 4th week, I went to his house. I was afraid he just dumped me without a word. He spoke like everything was fine w/ us, like we were gonna see eachother again. No fights leading up to this, nothing. I was hoping that I was just paranoid. My friend told me if she were me, she'd go to his house and talk to him in person. So I did. I was so stressed and worried about being upped and left. It never happened to me before, but I'd read things about it happening to others and I think its so cruel of someone to do. I talked to him and he seemed so depressed. He said he'd be busy working, there were problems w/ work, he didn't know if he wanted to stay w/ the job, or leave, that he had money problems, and he just wasn't talking to anyone. Whenever he has free time, which was rare, he wanted to be alone. As I'm writing this, it seems to make sense, that he's just overwhelmed, but I'm just really afraid of being hurt. Its been 3wks since I went to his house. I specifically said to him, "are things ok with us? if they're not and you dont' want to see me anymore, please tell me. I don't want to have false hope for something that isn't gonna happen. Don't put me thru this." He assured me that everything was fine and it was just him feeling so stressed and overwhelmed. He also said he wasn't talking to anyone except his best friend (which I understand cuz when i'm stressed i really only talk to my best friend also), but he will. He said we'll see eachother again, and we're not over and bla bla bla. I still told him (and I was visibly hurt while saying it) to please don't be afraid to tell me the truth. Lying will only hurt more. He insisted again that nothing was wrong. So what do you guys think? Does it seem like this person would just up and leave me without a word? Alot of the other stories I've read here have a fight, or some kind of action/event that could possibly trigger someone leaving. Here, there was none. Things were going WELL before Xmas anyway. The only thing was his job. Some days I say to myself that this person just left me without a word and I've been feeling extremely hurt, and depressed lately. I can't understand why someone would do that? But even with the issues w/ his job, and the money probs and the tight schedule, wouldn't he want to see how I was doing? Wouldn't he miss me? Wouldn't he want to talk to me? The cruelest thing is that he never told me that he was going thru problems. He never thought of calling me. I couldn't call him due to the phone issues, but he got an email saying i'd been trying to call him. If I hadn't gone to his house a 3wks, I still wouldn't know to this very DAY why he wasn't talking to me. I can't believe a person would do that. So what do you think? Please say whatever's on your mind. No matter how hurtful it may be. I'm just really depressed right now cuz I really think he's never going to call me again. How can you go so long w/ out speaking to the person you're with? Sorry this was so long, and probably repetative. I just wanted to make sure everything was in there.
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