Survey: How many LDR 300 miles and over from each other did not last or did last?

[inhighwater]

I'm just curious of something. Want to know how many online LDR's did not last or did last that the people lived 300 miles and over from each other?

 

Did your 300 mile and over online LDR last? If it did, how long have you been together and are you still bf/gf, engaged, or married to them?

 

If your 300 mile and over online LDR did not last? How long were you together and when you broke it off where you in the bf/gf stage or engaged? If you don't mind saying, can you give a brief description on why you broke up? (Example: one of you cheated, distance was too much to handle, didn't seem to be going anywhere, one of you found someone closer, etc.?)

 

My personal opinion over all the stuff I have heard about online LDR's are that when you are so many miles away, there are more online LDR's that fail than last. What is your personal opinion on the fact whether online LDR's 300 miles and over actually last or not?

[quankanne]

What is your personal opinion on the fact whether LDR's 300 miles and over actually last or not?

 

I think it all boils down to this: if you two are truly committed, compatible and willing to work through the distance thing, the relationship survives.

 

I met my husband while I was in college and he was working as an aviation contractor for the Navy. Meaning, I was tied down to my college town in South Texas and he traveled all over the country. In all honesty, you couldn't really even call it dating, but more like me being interested in him so much that I did my best to keep the contact up between us. Then he went to Saudi Arabia about the time the first war broke out in the Middle East, and stayed for 2.5 years. However, I think by that time he started thinking of me as his girl back home, because every time he took leave, he'd arrange to meet up with me somewhere. We eloped during one of those get-togethers, but he stuck with the overseas job for about the next year. We've been married nearly 14 years, and really? the hardest part wasn't so much being apart even though I missed him, it was learning how to live with this person after not being around him 24/7 ever. But that's where the commitment and compatibility factor come in.

 

it can be done, but you're more obligated to look at and deal with the realities of a long-distance relationship moreso than a couple in a "normal" situation.

[Skeered]

Well so far so good with my LDR...it will be a year on the 22nd of this month that he and I are officially a couple...I met him online in November of 04 right after I left my husband...we talked and became chat buddies, we met in April of 05 when he came for a week and he moved out to be with me in September of this year. He lived in Florida and I'm in AZ. We are planning on being together forever...he hasn't popped the question but I'm sure he's waiting to do something wonderful. Plus there is no major rush because we are together now and my divorce just became final a week ago.

 

So I agree with the above poster..if you are truly compatible with the person and you are willing to maybe move your life or they theirs etc. I think that distance doesn't matter because in the long run love will find a way.

[alphamale]

LDRs are not real relationships in my humble opinion. i suggest people stay away from them unless they are living in the middle of nowhere.

[SmoochieFace]

About 700 miles and the relationship gets stronger with each passing day.

 

We will be moving in together by year's end.

[PuppyDogEyes]

Online-wise, my boyfriend and I have been together for 1 1/2 years. Reality-wise, we've been together for 8 months.

 

I think that LDRs can work, but it takes an awful lot of committment and trust. Being that we originally met online, that's an additional hurdle to overcome. There's always the "what if" question... "What if he/she's cheating, what if they found someone else and I don't know, etc." And the further apart you are distance-wise, the more challenging it is!

 

My boyfriend is returning to Luxembourg at the end of May for the summer (I'm in the States, in Maryland) and I am so not looking forward to it. Luckily it's only for 3 months... but I know the time is coming when we have to make a decision about the future. That's going to be a hard thing.

 

-pde.

[catgirl1927]

About 700 miles and the relationship gets stronger with each passing day.

 

We will be moving in together by year's end.

 

That's going to be a bit of a shock, won't it? Going from such limited contact to being together all the time is a big adjustment, are you worried? Or just excited?

[SmoochieFace]

That's going to be a bit of a shock, won't it? Going from such limited contact to being together all the time is a big adjustment, are you worried? Or just excited?

 

Our contact isn't that limited. We see each other about every two months (and including all the major holidays) and we spend considerable time together during those visits (week or more) at a time. We have taken a vacation together as well. During the times when we are not actually together we talk to each other both online most of the day and the phone in the evenings.

 

I am looking forward to us being together. She is as well. She is looking for a decent job down here and we are planning on where we will live since I don't want to stay where I am currently.

[catgirl1927]

I'm glad you're excited. But I would still say that seeing each other once every two months and talking on the phone and IM is very different from living together. I think that if you live in the same town and don't live together, living together is VERY different. There is a considerable difference between staying together a lot and living in the same place. But lots of it will be fun. I'm sure it will go as well as you guys think it's going to!

[SmoochieFace]

I'm glad you're excited. But I would still say that seeing each other once every two months and talking on the phone and IM is very different from living together. I think that if you live in the same town and don't live together, living together is VERY different. There is a considerable difference between staying together a lot and living in the same place. But lots of it will be fun. I'm sure it will go as well as you guys think it's going to!

 

Sure, it will be different. However, we have spent so much time together during the past two years that we know how things are when we're together. No surprises.

 

Of course, mutual trust, respect, caring, acceptance, and of course love always help too.

[PuppyDogEyes]

I think that if you live in the same town and don't live together, living together is VERY different.

 

Very true! My boyfriend is going to college and living in his dorm, while I have my own place. He comes over on weekends, mostly, but he's spent breaks here as well. I guess that this is sort of "practice" for living together in the future. It works out very well. Sometimes I need my space, so when he goes home at the end of the weekend, I'll actually breathe a sigh of relief - isn't that awful?

 

But then the next day I just miss him again.

 

-pde.

[dgiirl]

i married mine... we were ld for 2 years, lived in sin for 3, married for 5... then he cheated and left. he met her at work and corresponded via email for a while until he had "lunch" with her.

 

LD relationships can work, it worked for me for 10 years. It just hurts when he uses it as an excuse to why it didnt work.

[justagirliegirl]

LDR going on 2 years. 12,000 miles apart.

 

We plan to be together for good by the end of this year.

[TeaCooler]

LDRs are not real relationships in my humble opinion. i suggest people stay away from them unless they are living in the middle of nowhere.

 

 

i agree. i know people who are in them think it's mean to think that way, but i agree.

[Bogun]

LDRs are not real relationships in my humble opinion. i suggest people stay away from them unless they are living in the middle of nowhere.

i agree. i know people who are in them think it's mean to think that way, but i agree.

I have to agree too. People get distracted by the excitement that a LDR can provide for a prolonged period, and fall into the trap that it is the real deal.

[interwurm]

I have to agree too. People get distracted by the excitement that a LDR can provide for a prolonged period, and fall into the trap that it is the real deal.

 

Yeah... a prolonged period... like 4 years? Most close distance relationships I know of don't last that long.

 

Long distance relationships take a greater deal of committment.

 

On the other hand, relationships that have only been long distance, and never close, I would have to say, are not true relationships. I mean, if you have never tested it out on the close front, you really have no idea what the relationship is like.

[littlekitty]

I have to agree too. People get distracted by the excitement that a LDR can provide for a prolonged period, and fall into the trap that it is the real deal.

 

I agree too I'm afraid. I don't believe an online LDR is a real relationship, and I don't see them working long term.

 

It's just filling the hole of the real world relationship that you ought to be having?

 

LDR's are fine if you met, then work or something else takes one of you away for a while and you still meet up regularly or something, and there is a time limit to the long distance. This is the only time I really see one working.

 

But a 100% online LDR is nothing short of a cyber life IMHO.

 

But congrats to all those who are proving me wrong!

[Skeered]

I guess I can agree on the stand point of looking at an LDR as just an online relationship that never really connects in person as not a real relationship.

 

But I was thinking of an LDR as two people who met online or other ways in very different states etc. that keep in contact, stay true to that other person 100% and then eventually plan and move to be with one another. That is how mine is..I think these are very real relationships and can certainly work if two people are 100% honest with their feelings and have been a friend to that person first and foremost.

[SmoochieFace]

But I was thinking of an LDR as two people who met online or other ways in very different states etc. that keep in contact, stay true to that other person 100% and then eventually plan and move to be with one another. That is how mine is..I think these are very real relationships and can certainly work if two people are 100% honest with their feelings and have been a friend to that person first and foremost.

 

I completely agree. My GF and I met on a support site and we started out as friends. The chemistry definitely was there when we met about six months after first *talking* with each other online.

 

After two years the relationship is as *real* as any other relationship I've been in - except that this one is better.

[No Stress Lady]

We met on holiday, live 4,000+ miles apart - but have spent nearly 4 months of the last year together - we love each other's countries and the fact that we're from different countries!!!!! - now engaged, totally in love and will be living together within a year!!!!

 

The relationship will work if the person is right - and trust is paramount. We trust each other and love each other and we can't wait to be married!!!!

[Guest]

its so hard to describe and explain LDRs. I think they are different for everyone. My bf and I have been together for 4 years and the majority of it has been long distance (I go to school 500 miles away). Whats rough is that we want to get married and start our lives together, but I need to go away again (800 miles this time) for graduate school. he's older than me and already settled with a house and career, so I can't ask him to just pick up and move out there with me. But like it has been said before, if you are committed, and really want to be with your partner, you make it work...and it makes the relatioship that much stronger and significant

[Guest]

my boyfriend and i have been together for 4 months. i live in australia, he lives in america but also travels the world as a US marine. we met online almost a year ago. i wasnt searching for an online relationship, i was content with being single, and i havent really lacked attention from guys. but this guy was different. i had a feeling about him. we grew closer, writing countless emails to each other over several months, staying only as friends. although i felt close to him and he seemed to fit my picky "dream guy" description, i remained objective too because i had heard of the dangers of the net. i also didnt want to start anything b4 meeting each other in person, because im not the kind of girl to start a relationship if i dont know the guy well. i dont get with someone just for the sake of it. eventually he suggested that i travel to texas to meet him. i thought about it for a while, it was a really difficult decision. its unbelievable how close i was to deciding not to go. but one day i decided to take a big leap, because ur not living if you dont take a few risks. it was the best decision i have ever made. the 2-3 wks i was in america was the happiest time of my life. he is the best guy i have ever met or been with. we fell inlove ofcourse, and have now been apart for 4 months. we are planning another visit when he comes back from iraq this year. right now is the beginning of a 30-90 day period of absolutely no contact with him while he's on a mission in iraq. its very hard, but im determined to see him again. i can definately see a future with him. i know many ppl would be pessimistic about our relationship working, but i believe that through God all things are possible. Bryan is the man of my dreams, im deeply inlove with him and will not let him go unless death parts us. please tell me ur thoughts about what ive said. any advice would be appreciated. or u could tell me ur stories write to me on becca_da_rebel@hotmail.com

[etherealism]

my LDR never worked out. 5 yrs of my life. crap.

we were together for 2.5 and broke up. 6 months later he comes crawling back. 2 months after that we were together. and broke up again in 2004.

 

i really think the time i was with him, i could have been with somebody who treated me better and who i could trust instead of being fed with lies.

 

will i ever do LDR again? chances are zero!

[luvvedupnyc]

Jury is still on on mine... I love him to bits, we're faithful to each other... but the stress of being so apart from him is killing me....

[tearful_soul22]

LDR didn't work for me. I was just too naive to fall for that in the first and i make sure i won't be swept again by the moment. It might work for some, but not everyone..unfortunately.