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I think I'm being tortured


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Posted

I posted lastnight about my SO buying a motorcycle, I still have not said anything to him about that. Today he came home late for dinner.

 

I wrote him a letter to ask him to please remember back to when we promised never to let our relationship slip again, and how I am hurt lately and feel eveyone else is more important than myself and our son. He never kisses me anymore tells me he loves me anymore, takes me places or even holds a conversation with me anymore.

 

Well he knows the letter is there I've asked him to read it so we can talk and he told me after baseball is over. Can anyone say a**h***!!!!

 

I think he does things on purpose to hurt me sometimes like he gets off on it.

 

Does this sound possible to anyone? thank you

Posted

Well he knows the letter is there I've asked him to read it so we can talk and he told me after baseball is over. Can anyone say a**h***!!!!

 

Why are you still with him?

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Posted

We have been together for almost 7 yrs we have a 4yr boy and its very hard I've moved my son out already once and we swore we got back together we could never do that to him again.

 

Of coarse when I went back he promised change for the world and I believed or hoped and took his word. It didn't take to long for him to come back to the orig. HIM again.

 

It's hard my son loves him so much and we've built a life together.

We went to couseling it was his idea, things were good we stopped about 1 1/2 mos ago.

 

Its just hard.

Posted

Of coarse when I went back he promised change for the world and I believed or hoped and took his word. It didn't take to long for him to come back to the orig. HIM again.

 

The main lesson I've learned through past relationships is to never expect people to change. Relationships are a "take it or leave it" kind of affair. If you aren't happy with the person you're involved with, the best thing to do is to move on. The biggest waste of time occurs when you sit there hoping the person will change so you can be happy.

Posted

The romance is over. I think this happened a long time ago. And perhaps you two are not 80-90% compatible with each other.

Posted

the way I see it would you want your kid growing up knowing that this is how you are suppose to treat a woman?

Posted
We went to couseling it was his idea, things were good we stopped about 1 1/2 mos ago.

 

Your situation does sound tough indeed.

 

You mentioned it was his idea to go to counseling, that in fact, most of the time, is a great sign, if the partner that seems to cause most discomfort to the other suggests they go see a specialist and maybe mend it, it does mean s/he is wanting for things to improve.

 

That it's only been a month and a half and you sound at wit's end already may make it sound like it hasn't worked but I am more inclined to say you didn't give it enough time and effort. By "you" I mean you both not you personally. Who decided to stop and why? Especially since you're saying things were good.

 

While I understand MadDog's perspective and it's certainly valuable for dating, young or casual relationships, I fully understand why you are working on it and I think that's admirable.

 

There are many ways in which to express yourself, to try and communicate with him efficiently, if one doesn't work you could try the next, letters are a good idea in theory, in practice you need to wait and see how he responds to it for one thing and for another, it very much depends on how you worded it.

 

If it was the same collection of "But you said you'd change and I don't feel you love me anymore"s but in writing, I'm afraid it won't much help. If it doesn't work and you find a time to hold a serious conversation with him -a calm one, not one when you feel like killing him ;)- try and stay away from reproaches and blaming of all sorts and focus more on explaining how he makes you feel.

 

It's a clichee already but I can't stress enough the importance of saying "Right now I am feeling scared, darling" as opposed to "You're a complete ass and you're wanting to destroy us!". I know it's not how you want to tell him things when all you want is to find a rusty scissors and his family jewels but it can work wonders.

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Posted

thank you all I've started another post to keep up on whats going on it's titled can you live together afte a 7 yr relationship?

 

I figured that way I can keep up on daily activities and keep my mind going crazy. thank you all for your responses

 

please keep them coming more than wnything I just need someone to talk to.

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