riobikini Posted April 18, 2006 Posted April 18, 2006 Honestly, now, -how many of you are keeping photos and memorabilia of the ex available for daily or easy-access viewing? How does looking at them make you feel? And how do you think this is helping you 'get over' him/her? -Rio
Chinook Posted April 18, 2006 Posted April 18, 2006 Actually, I put all 10 year's worth of paper photo's through the shredder and the digital ones went onto a CD ROM.
Art_Critic Posted April 18, 2006 Posted April 18, 2006 I keep none available.. If it is a photo I throw it in a box of memory junk from my past.. if it is an email or digital photo I delete those right away. I used to burn a cd of them but I found myself pulling the cd out.. Now a days I just delete the crap.. Who wants to be reminded of a time that someone that hurt you or you hurt for loved you ?.. I don't
jerbear Posted April 18, 2006 Posted April 18, 2006 Honestly, now, -how many of you are keeping photos and memorabilia of the ex available for daily or easy-access viewing? How does looking at them make you feel? And how do you think this is helping you 'get over' him/her? -Rio I have digital versions and it does not help initially. I keep them because they are part of my history. Kids and grandkids would know something about their grandpa at least.
trone Posted April 18, 2006 Posted April 18, 2006 I do not keep any photos since looking at them would not help me at all. But I got an interesting suggestion from my counselor recently. I was feeling down and wanted to break NC. She asked me to take a pic of her, put it in front of me and right down everything that I want to tell her everyday at the same time. At first, I thought it wouldn't help me but then luckily I found a pic (she looked really awful in that one ) of her from the web and used it to vent for couple days. It was not bad at all.
shelters Posted April 18, 2006 Posted April 18, 2006 All emails I've deleted b/c I don't want to accidentally come across them while searching through old email for something else. Pictures on my computer are hidden from myself in a folder. Other items are up on the very top shelf in my closet... need a chair to access them. I'm strong enough to not pull them out and look at them or go through my computer for that folder. I haven't thrown them out yet b/c I'm not sure how I'm feeling about them yet. One of the many new behaviors I am working on is to s l o w my reaction times down. So I'll keep them for now and revisit the issue after I have sat with a decision for a while (to throw out or not throw out).
sick of it Posted April 18, 2006 Posted April 18, 2006 when i had my day of boxing up everything, i spent the one day looking at old cards, emails, conversations and pictures. burned them all onto a cd and put them ina shoebox. the cd and all other little trinckets and cards i could fit in there was put in the attic and i havent touched or tried to find them since. that was october. spend one day and do it all. and never get it again.
chocolate_boy Posted April 18, 2006 Posted April 18, 2006 You know, I used to put all the cards, photos etc. into a box and store in the attic, I must have 4 boxes up there from previous relationships, however it hurts to much to look at them at the time, and these days I'm not even bothered enough to look, so its a bit pointless. With my most recent relationship, I threw them all in the trash, everything, presents, cards, photos etc. all gone, and it actually helped me move on a lot. I agree, why would you want to be reminded of something that eventually hurt you so much.?
basscatcher Posted April 18, 2006 Posted April 18, 2006 When I met my XH he was so jealous and harping on me all the time about my Xs that I burned all the pics in front of him just to prove a point to him. I have regretted that action because some of the pics are irreplaceable and they are a part of my past. The memory will always be ingraved in my head unless I get amnesia. Since then I put pics, dried flowers, film, letters, cards of Xs in a box and put them up and away. I have a shoe box under my bed with pics, dried flowers, cards and some notes from my X that walked out on me Jan 05. There is a little little part of me that thinks of him once in awhile. It is about time I put that box up up and away.. I still have pics of Charlie out. I have journals still next to my bed of him --that I am still adding too.. I have printouts of Messenger chats from a few guys I dated last summer. Also there are certain emails that I will print out and save as well as photos they sent me online. They sit in the bottom of my file cabinet,. I think its about time to put them up up up and away also. I don't throw anything out anymore. It is my legacy of my life. I enjoyed the memorbilia that my grandmother had of herself when she was growing up. It was fun to look at pics of her old bfs before gpa. It gave me a little glimpse into her life when she was growing up. Maybe this is where/why I started journaling. Someday someone will read my life in these tablets and they will understand and learn lessons from my challenges and mistakes. I am a peice of history in my family as each one of us are. I want to leave my mark.
brashgal Posted April 18, 2006 Posted April 18, 2006 Boxed them up, saving them for the kids. There were very few pix toward the end anyway of the entire family and even fewer of the two of us.
UT_longhorn Posted April 18, 2006 Posted April 18, 2006 all hidden away electronically. opened a photo of her by mistake a while back. think it felt kind of like barry bonds put swung his bat into my chest. god she's still so beautiful in my eyes. soooo.....that was no fun. but i use the ipod that she gave me for my birthday almost everyday with no problem.
Vertex Posted April 18, 2006 Posted April 18, 2006 Damn you. I bought an IPod for my girlfriend and bam, we soon broke up. Even though I am in a financially crappy situation, she doesn't seem to bat an eye at the concept. Waste of money on my part. Anyways I keep everything because I hate the idea of deleting memories or removing history. I always feel like I want the freedom to look at memories later so they don't become blurred in my mind's eye. Besides I still have a bunch of naked photos and videos of her in case she later decides to damage me in whatever way.
shelters Posted April 18, 2006 Posted April 18, 2006 Besides I still have a bunch of naked photos and videos of her in case she later decides to damage me in whatever way. Doh!!
DogBrain Posted April 18, 2006 Posted April 18, 2006 Cripes, depending what market I am in, I see her on the television. The only time I have any relief is when I travel to another continent db
Bellona Posted April 19, 2006 Posted April 19, 2006 All emails I've deleted b/c I don't want to accidentally come across them while searching through old email for something else. Pictures on my computer are hidden from myself in a folder. Other items are up on the very top shelf in my closet... need a chair to access them. I'm strong enough to not pull them out and look at them or go through my computer for that folder. I haven't thrown them out yet b/c I'm not sure how I'm feeling about them yet. One of the many new behaviors I am working on is to s l o w my reaction times down. So I'll keep them for now and revisit the issue after I have sat with a decision for a while (to throw out or not throw out). Quite an excellent idea. It is what I have done with the most recent exes, and it sure does help. Now I can look at somethings without pain, but fondness.
Art_Critic Posted April 19, 2006 Posted April 19, 2006 Besides I still have a bunch of naked photos and videos of her in case she later decides to damage me in whatever way. You need to destroy those.. be a man about it.. She is never going to damage you in the future to a point that you would need to resort to publicly humlilating her.. Destroy those naked photos and videos
Apathetic Posted April 19, 2006 Posted April 19, 2006 haha..I still have my ex's pics from 8 yrs ago!..I refuse to throw anything away he gave me..nothing..Im like that w/ everything though,I hate to throw things away
tinktronik Posted April 19, 2006 Posted April 19, 2006 I've got maybe 3 pics with the ex in them , but they are for my boys .In one I was preggers another is just our oldest with his dad and the other is a pic of all of us together.I keep them up in my boys room so that they can see pics of our whole family , ofcourse there is also one with me and their stepmom and half brother too. I don't know I thought it would be healthy for them to be able to have pics of everybody .In Dads house theres not a single picture of me anywhere , it always worries me that when the boys are away from me for long stretches they'll forget what I look like .So I have an email account for them to check that I send our photos to and I mail them pics .
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