SHortyAnGel Posted April 18, 2006 Posted April 18, 2006 I have been the Played the other woman for the past 2 years. We have attempted to to stop all contact cold turkey BUT, he was still looking for me. Yes we have been caught & i moved away. As far as i was concern they should at least try to fix matters as they do have a son together. They are young couple who got married as she got pregnant as a teen & it was " the best" thing to do. Me & Mr.S are very inclined to eachother, other people noticed it before we even did. it started of from a phone call to secret meetings & the rest is history. Yes, I do feel guilty & YEs, i wish i didnt fall for him as he did to me, NO i didnt ask him to leave her. ( we have discussed it BUt i was told him that i only want him to be happy) I need help as i i want to know WHY he is back. I asked him & he said all he knows that he missess me.. HELP!
Sami_D Posted April 18, 2006 Posted April 18, 2006 You ended the affair, and moved away, and he came to find you? Has he worked on his marriage and decided it's over and he's leaving her? Or does he just want to continue the affair because it's easier than actually doing something about his life? MM often do this, and OW often take them back. You can read it on this forum over and over and over again. What do you want to do? Do you want to continue to be the OW?
Author SHortyAnGel Posted April 18, 2006 Author Posted April 18, 2006 He has always going on about the kid & so forth... i know he is afraid of gossip... i understand & know the situation he is in.. so i dont put myself in front of the kid. He is more important than the both of us. Yes i moved away & changed my number so forth to make abrand new start... However since we have mutual friends... he can always find me. I just dont understand why he would go to so much effort?...after being caught. I dont think he wantd to make it worth w/ the marriage or else he would not be here. after months apart. as per the marriage being over there have been talk among friends BUT no no mention to me. i refuse to get involved in his decison. Have i taken him back? NO.. will i ever?... i really dont know... I want to belv in the theory that if you love someone let them go if it comes back than you know that its yours?.. whats you view on that?
Guest Posted April 18, 2006 Posted April 18, 2006 Some friends....why do they give him your contact information? Anyway, I guess that's a moot point. This guy needs to make a choice. He can choose his marriage or you. He can't have it both ways. You need to hold your ground and be strong. If you bend, you are enabling him to continue cheating on his wife and confusing you.
zarathustra Posted April 18, 2006 Posted April 18, 2006 "if you love someone let them go if it comes back than you know that its yours?..?" Depends how he's coming back. You did set him free, free to go back to his wife, but is he coming back to you free from his M? As per the mutual friends, if they know you two were an item, tell them not to give your number to him anymore. Friends would respect that.
Sami_D Posted April 18, 2006 Posted April 18, 2006 ... I want to belv in the theory that if you love someone let them go if it comes back than you know that its yours?.. whats you view on that? Well I don't know. As Zarathustra says... what exactly is 'coming back'? Is it the fact that he's decided to leave his M? Or is he just after an A on the side, hushed up so his child 'won't get hurt' (which isn't true... if he's having an A, the child will be suffering in some way, even if it's just growing up seeing parents at loggerheads or distanced from each other emotionally). What's he offering you? And... tell your mutual friends to keep your new phone number private! wtf?
Jessie61 Posted April 18, 2006 Posted April 18, 2006 ShortyAnGel, I know what you are talking about. I have dumped my MM more than 30 times and he has consistently broken the NC and come looking for me. What is his story this time? Still married? Separated? If still married, if he going to leave? When? Of course he's missing you, why wouldn't he??? But what is he "putting on the table"?
Sami_D Posted April 18, 2006 Posted April 18, 2006 But what is he "putting on the table"? He'd better watch what he's 'putting on the table', or she might just CHOP it OFF
lovernotafighter Posted April 18, 2006 Posted April 18, 2006 He'd better watch what he's 'putting on the table', or she might just CHOP it OFF darn tootin!! if you went through all that to escape him,he really shouldn't have come back unless he's ready to commit to your relationship...it is unfair to you he return with no separation or divorce and he wouldn't dare unless he was certian you'd take him back. if he really loves you he should respect your feelings instead of only thinking of himself.
Author SHortyAnGel Posted April 18, 2006 Author Posted April 18, 2006 I Set him free.. after all the drama that happened w/ his W coming to me & confronting me w/ the phone bill. I just wanted out.. i wanted him to work on wateva he needed to do to make his marriage work. DId he ask me to stay?... i gave him no choice i just left. As per my friends knowing - NOPE they dont know anything abt what happend w/ MR H... so they thought it was harmless. ( fair enuf) to give my number. One of my closest friend knows & thats how the W found out... because she wanted to be in the good box w/ her when i was her friend for the past 5 yrs... ( Pssh!) let just say we are not in good terms anymore & she still cannot look me straight in the face when she sees me.... Yes, i agree he should respect my feelings BUT i seriously dont know what i am feeling rite now....oviously he is not happy w/ W right? or am i just in denial?...i didnt ask him what he was putting on the table because i cant expect him to do anything in his life, when i dont know if im strong enuf to handle it... I just wish for the day where i can simply just turn around & tell him that i love him & walk away from him cause i know its right... ( still waiting for the day)....
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