Author KittenMoon Posted April 19, 2006 Author Posted April 19, 2006 I hope you haven't replied, Kitten. Remember a few weeks back I was (kinda) in the same boat when my exbf called me? Whatever the reason--he called me. You saw how crazy I got, and I came here to post about it, and you were one of the persons who told me not to respond. Do you remember that? I remember. Still haven't replied. It's been a day and a half now. Haven't heard anything from him in terms of a lengthier contact. I kinda hate myself because I really wanna hear more from him. It's really hard for me to take this step in ignoring him but, boundaries, right? He's gotta put in WAY more effort if he expects ANYTHING in return. Still, it sucks. Heart vs head again. This struggle is becoming epic.
Author KittenMoon Posted April 19, 2006 Author Posted April 19, 2006 So I began wondering if at some point I had asked him to send me an email like this once in a while- something this simple- and that's the real reason he sent it. Not because he has any interest in talking to me, or in my response. If I did, it's only a vague hazy recollection, and I would have said it at a point where I was so emotionally traumatized I wouldn't have remembered. But I'm not even sure, maybe my mind is recreating a memory. Anyways, I just had a long lunch with my boss. My job position has become suddenly less sturdy. Actually, it's HIS position that has become less sturdy. Mine is actually safer, but I have no interest in remaining here w/o him- we're a team, and he shields me from a lot of management BS that I simply cannot handle at my level of experience. Plus, I have begun to dislike my career path and am mostly in this right now for the good paycheck and benefits. This is kinda messing me up, though at the same time I don't really care. It's just that I didn't want to end up making a decision like this so soon. I didn't want to have to restart the job hunt crud- resumes and portfolios and fake smiles and interview kissassery. Not after all of this. Right now all I want is to call him up and say "My job is potentially tanking, have you found a new job, and where ever you want to go, I will go with you, right now." Talking business made me remember all the talks about companies and careers and stuff we had. He is career oriented to the point of being obsessive- I am far more calm about it. He's technically and business oriented- I'm better with abstracts and people. We balanced very well, I miss our rapport on these things. I miss my partnership with him. I can do anything without him, I'm a tough chick, new things upset me but they get done none-the-less. My lack of enthusiasm allows me to bypass a lot of bullsh*t and I'd rather work for my own satisfaction as opposed to getting to the top by any means necessary. Like I said I can do ANYTHING without him. I just keep feeling like I don't WANT to do these things without him. I feel like I've lost my complimentary force.
Chinook Posted April 19, 2006 Posted April 19, 2006 [sigh] seems like everyone is having a down day today sorry to hear about the job KM. But, to make you laugh... "kissassery" I intend to get that into a conversation tomorrow at work!
Guest Posted April 19, 2006 Posted April 19, 2006 So I began wondering if at some point I had asked him to send me an email like this once in a while- something this simple- and that's the real reason he sent it. Not because he has any interest in talking to me, or in my response. If I did, it's only a vague hazy recollection, and I would have said it at a point where I was so emotionally traumatized I wouldn't have remembered. But I'm not even sure, maybe my mind is recreating a memory. Anyways, I just had a long lunch with my boss. My job position has become suddenly less sturdy. Actually, it's HIS position that has become less sturdy. Mine is actually safer, but I have no interest in remaining here w/o him- we're a team, and he shields me from a lot of management BS that I simply cannot handle at my level of experience. Plus, I have begun to dislike my career path and am mostly in this right now for the good paycheck and benefits. This is kinda messing me up, though at the same time I don't really care. It's just that I didn't want to end up making a decision like this so soon. I didn't want to have to restart the job hunt crud- resumes and portfolios and fake smiles and interview kissassery. Not after all of this. Right now all I want is to call him up and say "My job is potentially tanking, have you found a new job, and where ever you want to go, I will go with you, right now." Talking business made me remember all the talks about companies and careers and stuff we had. He is career oriented to the point of being obsessive- I am far more calm about it. He's technically and business oriented- I'm better with abstracts and people. We balanced very well, I miss our rapport on these things. I miss my partnership with him. I can do anything without him, I'm a tough chick, new things upset me but they get done none-the-less. My lack of enthusiasm allows me to bypass a lot of bullsh*t and I'd rather work for my own satisfaction as opposed to getting to the top by any means necessary. Like I said I can do ANYTHING without him. I just keep feeling like I don't WANT to do these things without him. I feel like I've lost my complimentary force. ANd by "him" I mean my ex, not my boss... which is far more pathetic.
Author KittenMoon Posted April 19, 2006 Author Posted April 19, 2006 So I began wondering if at some point I had asked him to send me an email like this once in a while- something this simple- and that's the real reason he sent it. Not because he has any interest in talking to me, or in my response. If I did, it's only a vague hazy recollection, and I would have said it at a point where I was so emotionally traumatized I wouldn't have remembered. But I'm not even sure, maybe my mind is recreating a memory. Anyways, I just had a long lunch with my boss. My job position has become suddenly less sturdy. Actually, it's HIS position that has become less sturdy. Mine is actually safer, but I have no interest in remaining here w/o him- we're a team, and he shields me from a lot of management BS that I simply cannot handle at my level of experience. Plus, I have begun to dislike my career path and am mostly in this right now for the good paycheck and benefits. This is kinda messing me up, though at the same time I don't really care. It's just that I didn't want to end up making a decision like this so soon. I didn't want to have to restart the job hunt crud- resumes and portfolios and fake smiles and interview kissassery. Not after all of this. Right now all I want is to call him up and say "My job is potentially tanking, have you found a new job, and where ever you want to go, I will go with you, right now." Talking business made me remember all the talks about companies and careers and stuff we had. He is career oriented to the point of being obsessive- I am far more calm about it. He's technically and business oriented- I'm better with abstracts and people. We balanced very well, I miss our rapport on these things. I miss my partnership with him. I can do anything without him, I'm a tough chick, new things upset me but they get done none-the-less. My lack of enthusiasm allows me to bypass a lot of bullsh*t and I'd rather work for my own satisfaction as opposed to getting to the top by any means necessary. Like I said I can do ANYTHING without him. I just keep feeling like I don't WANT to do these things without him. I feel like I've lost my complimentary force. And by "him" i mean my ex, not my boss. Far more pathetic.
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