Im young and so is she, but she could be the one...((BTW sorry it so long))

[Twilighthero]

I know for a lot of people in here you would probably look at me and tell me you’re still young; there will be more in your life than this one person. But you have to understand, I am young but I am still in love, and love at 21 is no different from love at 36 minus a kid or 2. My g/f and I have been together for about 1 1/2 years, and we have hit that questioning stage. That confusion that I guess every serious relationship hits at least once in their time together. We were coming home from hanging out with a couple of friends and I noticed something was wrong. You can bet how stupid I feel now for making her tell me what was wrong...She told me that she had lost herself in the time that we had been together, that over the course of our relationship she became Neil’s girlfriend, rather than Katie, Neil’s girlfriend. She felt that she had become something other than herself and now she said she needed time to find herself again. Over the weekend a lot more was said and a lot more was realized, she said that she needed time away for her heart to grow fonder of me. But the thing that sucks the most was she said that she wasn’t sure how she felt. She wasn’t sure if she was still madly in love with me. She said that she wasn’t as ecstatic to see me and that she needed time to see if our love was the real deal. I think it is, but she's not sure, so were taking a break this following week and at the end of the week were going to talk about it. I am pretty sure everything is going to be okay because she said I am still in love with you. But I think that this all started because over the course of our relationship we saw each other everyday, I mean we literally haven’t seen each other like 8—10 days out of the entire time we have been together. I think that we saw each other to the point where it became a chore. It was more like I have to go to her/his house, rather than I want to go to her/his house. I still see in her face that she loves me more than anything and I see it when she cries over everything that happened. But is that it? Is that all we need, space to realize that we are in love but we just need to spend less time together?

[Vertex]

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. I think distance can be healthy, and by this I mean be able to live your own separate lives while still being together. When I lived with my girlfriend for a while we had this desire to do everything together and life eventually became a bit routine and devoid of excitement; very chore-like. If there is distance involved you guys will have the time to miss each other and WANT to see one another.

[Tangerina]

I don't really have any advice, it sounds like you are dealing with it well... but I just wanted to let you know I am going through the same thing so don't feel alone.... in my case I'm 20 and he's 21 and we are crazy for each other but he gets scared because we are so young and is afraid he is missing something by being with me, but is afraid to lose me because he thinks he might never meet anyone as wonderful again..... in some ways, problems like you and I are having never stop at any age, but it seems that they are intensified so much right now while we are faced with really having to be adults for the first time, but also still have so much freedom to change and chose different paths.... it is very liberating but also so confusing when you do decide to devote yourself to one thing such as a career path or partner.... good luck, man, I wish I knew the answers... haha, and I wish my BF felt as sure about me as you do about your lady.....

[Twilighthero]

I think everything is gonna work out for the best. It always does, I just feel kinda lost during this time though. We saw eachother today and nothing has changed, she still says I love you and I still say it too. But somethings that made me smile were two things I asked her.

 

1. Were you happy to see me today?

2. Do you want everything to work out?

 

Both of her answers were yes, a very delighted and sincere yes. Though they were yeses I still cant help but to feel lost right now. I still dont know what to say, and I want to give her the space she needs, but Im afraid that she would like it or something. I guess im insecure, and im afraid that maybe somewhere inside myself i wont want her back after this. Its probably funny but were using percentages, she told me that she is 80%. She feels that she is getting there, and I am willing to help her through it all. Do you guys think that I am simply going on a false hope? More advice and help through this rather sickening time would be much apprexciated! (( side note, at least I know one good thing about this time. I lost some weight!!!))

[Twilighthero]

Well its day 5 of the brake. I keep going up and down, my emotions are confusing me. One moment I feel awesome about the whole thing, I feel so optimistic then a moment later I don’t. I feel like the world is going to fall in around me. I can’t eat, I barely sleep. Its getting a hold of me, and I usually am not susceptible to my emotions, I never used to let them dictate how my day went. If I got into a fight with her then that was it, when we walked away the fight was over and everything was good again. Were not fighting or anything like that, and I'm trying so hard to avoid anything on the phone though I want to say so much I want to wait until we talk about it on Friday. What’s happening guys? Am I lost in a world that I will never live in again, is she lost to me…

[Brittanyjean06]

Yes my friend, if you choose to invest your time with eachother every day, things will get to feel a bit tarnished, old. You both need your own lives, to be happy together, believe me on this part...It is so true.

 

The more time you spend away from her, the more excited you will feel when seeing her, vise versa. I can't examplify to you of how much it is important that you both remain having your own separate lives, or else your relationship will hit rock bottom.

 

I'm sure she is still very much in love with you, and this could be the one for you, but reamber if you two were to get married, how would she feel about you than ...after living with eachother for a great deal.

[Twilighthero]

Today is day 6 of the break. We actually got through some of our issues. She has figured a bit of it out. But now I have growing to do, and its so hard. Ladies and guys out there alike understand what I mean when I say I have serious trust issues. Why in my mind do I feel that every guy she knows is gonna try to hook up with her? I dont know, Is it because of the fact that I was hurt in the past, and that trust issues are a result of the things that happened then? How do you all deal with it when your g/f goes to hang out with males? Even when your b/f hangs out with other girls? Shes never once given me a reason to believe she would cheat, she tells me everything thats going on and I get over it. But it still bothers me, how did you all deal with jealousy, I need to trust her if I expect to be with her. But how? Please give me some feedback people.

[Twilighthero]

Ok, well I havnt posted since day 6. But there really wasnt any reason. I understood the error in my ways, though Im still lacking, On friday we talked. We said to eachother we will make this work because of how much we love each other. It was obvious we did. It felt funny because of the fact that we didnt see eachother, and friday we were together all night, it was like a 1st date all over again. I had butterflies and she was nervous. Well whoever coined the phrase absence makes the heart fonder was a very brilliant man. Those words have never been so true. -deep breath- ontop of that I have to share to the whole of you that have read my troubles and problems. Currently I have been dealing with issues within my house, but outside of my house it was a different story. Hard to believe but im a 20 year old male that found a super job.So I bought a car and now am moving into my own place. Well the point of the story is that during this week I came to the realisation that regardless of what I tell people and what I think, my heart only longs for that one woman. I felt for the first and I know, the last time I will ever have to feel like this, that she was the woman I would spend my life, and that I could never live with any other woman. So I went out and bought a ring. It took a while to get the balls to do it, but everytime I thought of her it gave me courage to do so. After 4 days of searching I found the ring and the words to tell her how I felt. I took her to dinner and I gave the manager of the establisment my ring, and after we talked I asked her to marry me. She of course said yes. But for everyone that gave me help through it all, thank you sooooooooooooooooo much. I think I finally got a grip. Thank you.