So, what's the difference?

[Blind Illusion]

Where the hit is a release of anger, uncontrolable.

Of course it's controllable. It's called ANGER MANGAEMENT.

[cuckolded husband]

Of course it's controllable. It's called ANGER MANGAEMENT.

 

 

 

What if a person has a good demeaner ,then H/W gets into a a disagrement with W/H dose something that make the other one fly off the handle in rage even though they don't get mad very often at all? Women hit also it don't have to be a man, l wonder if the same out come happens when a woman hits a man? I'm not talking about a closed fist hit at all more like a hard shove or slap (sorry ) it just dawn on me that there are hits with fist opened or closed

[Blind Illusion]

Women hit also it don't have to be a man, l wonder if the same out come happens when a woman hits a man?

 

I think violence is wrong regardless of which sex starts it or receives it. If you are irate, then explain why. Scream it if you must but physical stuff is not ok in my book.

[mental_traveller]

1) Nothing is really different, except it's emotional rather than physical pain that is inflicted. Arguably it's much worse to have your wife/husband have an affair, then for them to slap you once or twice.

 

I've no idea why wives are encouraged to work on the marriage. There are plenty of decent single men, she should go find one.

 

2) In both cases I think it's a case of poor self-esteem. No self-respecting woman would ever stay with a cheating husband, OR shack up with a married man. Doing that is IMO a sign of desperation, weakness, and a serious lack of self-confidence. It marks you out as a weak loser, easy to manipulate and take advantage of. ANd that's usually exactly what happens.

[mental_traveller]

I think it's absolutely true that women are encouraged to forgive and blame themselves when men cheat. It's really unfair. Men don't tolerate that sort of behavior, but women are supposed to because men "can't help themselves." Whatever.

 

Actually men do tolerate cheating wives & gfs. Just take a look at some of the stories on this board. Out of all my male friends who have been cheated on, not a single one immediately dumped the woman and never looked back. They all tried at least once more.

 

Not that many people really have the stones to immediately throw out a cheating partner, then never speak to them again.

[amblin]

1) Both are equally disgusting, imo. But I do actually find cheating to be worse. Purely because emotional pain can be eternally scarring, whereas physical abuse is possibly easier to get over. Cheating is cold, calculated (if not with initial hook up, then at least with continuation and cover up), immoral and extremely selfish. I believe violent people can be "cured", but I'm still very skeptical and would be running out of the house in no time if I got hit or cheated on. Both unacceptable.

 

2) I don't even know what to say to this because I frankly don't understand how anyone would want to be an OW. Recipe for disaster!

[target-d]

I actually believe that the OW gets caught up in the competition of the relationship. Rather than looking at the actual relationship with the married man and whether or not she is happy or even has the hope of being happy with the man, the OW begins to look at the MM as a prize rather than another human. The reason, I believe, that so many OW seem to hate the wives is that they view those wives not only as the obstacle to their happiness, but as their prime competitor for the man, the prize. As long as the relationship continues, they feel victorious to a degree. The ultimate victory, of course, is if the MM chooses to leave his wife for the OW. The ultimate defeat is if he leaves the OW for his wife.

 

If you take this on to the logical conclusion, there are some women who far PREFER to be in relationships with married men. They can then feel the victor repeatedly.