Spank'n'Rationality Posted April 17, 2006 Posted April 17, 2006 Okay, so this is the third time I have tried to post this, and I am getting tired of rewritting it, but this issue has been weighing on my mind for QUITE some time, and I would REALLY appreciate any feedback! Okay, so I really like this guy at college, and he seemed to like me as well; until here recently. He would make eye-contact, look away, ask questions, wink at me, smile, and touch me (though he is really touchy with everyone--men included, so I never really put much thought into that). Oh, he even fed me once (it happened rather unexpectedly), and once he did it, he just walked away. So, I tried to flirt back, asking him questions that were fairly personal (though he is a really personable person, he is really private), and he would answer them and relate my experiences to his own, etc. So, it seemed as though we were getting along really well. He and a few of our mutual friends even took me out for my 21st birthday. He also does little things, like buying me things, and makeing fun (in a cute, not hurtful, way) of me because I don't have a drivers-licence. So, it sounds like he may like me, right? Yeah, well that's what I thought until here recently. You see, the other day, one of our mutual guy friends gave me kind of an inapproprate hug in front of him (the guy I like). I didn't think much about it (this guy is a real character), but ever since then the guy I like has been acting like a jerk to me, and flirting with a girl who we are both friends with. For example, when this girl and I were talking, he came up to her, ignored me, and was flirting shamelessly with her, and then just looked at me, and walked away. THEN he asks me about a paper I had written, and when I handed it to him, he asked me a question, held out the paper for me to take it back, gave me this odd look, and when I held out my had to accept the paper, he just tossed it at me, and walked away. I was like WTF? I don't get it? Is he just peed off that I let another guy hug me? Did he never like me to begin with? Is this another way of flirting? I mean, I feel like I am Maggie Geilenhal (sp?) in the movie Secretary; that is how he has been treating me lately. He was so nice, and now he is just being crazy. Is he bi-polar? What is going on? I would appreciate any opinions here, but especially those from a man's point of view. I mean, what is going on with him?
tikigods Posted April 17, 2006 Posted April 17, 2006 I would say forget him if he is going to overreact to something like this I would be scared to see what he is like in a real relatinship!
Bogun Posted April 17, 2006 Posted April 17, 2006 Forget him, he's gay. And I don't mean happy. Perhaps he's still in the closet but I'd put money on him being a pillow biter.
serial muse Posted April 17, 2006 Posted April 17, 2006 I would say forget him if he is going to overreact to something like this I would be scared to see what he is like in a real relatinship! Yeah, totally. I think sometimes we get so caught up in trying to understand someone's weird behavior and whether that means s/he likes us...that we overlook the simple fact that maybe they're not being very likable. Who needs it?
Agent M Posted April 17, 2006 Posted April 17, 2006 Sounds like he got jealous, and now he doesn't know how to act. You may want to talk to him and get it out on the table, although I'm not sure what the end result will be. He sounds immature. But it's worth a shot if you really like him.
Skeered Posted April 17, 2006 Posted April 17, 2006 I got the same gay vibe as someone else posted...I bet you he is and hasn't admitted it yet... However...whatever happened to people just asking people how they feel, I don't get this..you like him your not sure if he feels the same, your getting all worked up over something you haven't ever even discussed with him...walk up to the guy and say HEY I LIKE YOU YOU WANNA DO SOMETHING...or I like you do you have the same feelings...stop the games and ask. Your 21 this isn't like high school stuff..
mikeyboy1990 Posted April 17, 2006 Posted April 17, 2006 I havn't seen my girfriend since last Wed. An i won't be able to see her probaly all the way till next monday. I been trying to call her and she can't talk to me because her mom grounded her. So I'm left here at home with my little brother and nothing to do. I FREAKIN miss my gf right now. Its driving me nutz. I tried playing some video games but when I'm done with video games she comes back to my mind. I don't think I can take this no more. And for some reason because of this now all i do is just spend most my time eating laying around and listening to love songs. I can't go out because my friends are away doing there own thing because every student here in New York is on Spring Break till next monday. But anyways do you guys got any ideas on how to handle this situation. I miss her so much. Look I can understand the thing about not seeing her for a while but not getting to talk to her on the phone or the computer at all THATS RIDICULOUS!!!!!!!!!!! Please help guys i freakin feel like strangling my self to death its killing me inside.
Author Spank'n'Rationality Posted April 18, 2006 Author Posted April 18, 2006 I got the same gay vibe as someone else posted...I bet you he is and hasn't admitted it yet... However...whatever happened to people just asking people how they feel, I don't get this..you like him your not sure if he feels the same, your getting all worked up over something you haven't ever even discussed with him...walk up to the guy and say HEY I LIKE YOU YOU WANNA DO SOMETHING...or I like you do you have the same feelings...stop the games and ask. Your 21 this isn't like high school stuff.. Have you lived on a college campus? It actually is QUITE a bit like high school. Anyway, I don't want to ask someone if they like me when they are being a jerk to me. I was actually planning on asking him, but then he started acting like this, and I started second-guessing myself, "Did he ever like me? Was it just my imagination?" But a couple of our mutual friends has even noticed his change of behavior toward me. Plus, I LIVE with him on campus, we have the same classes, so if he doesn't like me, it isn't like I can really avoid him. Hahaha, and about him being gay; it's possible, he is REALLY touchy with guys too. Actually, I think he is bi, but that doesn't bother me (obviously). Also, though I have been asked out numerous times, I have only ever dated one guy, and it ended badly, so I don't really want to take the chance of being horribley rejected; he is the first guy I have liked in nearly two years.
Skeered Posted April 18, 2006 Posted April 18, 2006 Nope I haven't ever lived on a college campus...and I can see your point about asking him and being rejected and then having to see him everyday. It just seems so much easier to come right out and ask a person then sit there and wonder. This guy sounds like he might be in a state of confusion maybe in denial of his own sexuality...maybe that's the reason why he's bein a butthead to you now...maybe he doesn't understand why it upset him so much to see you being hugged by that other guy? It will be interesting to hear the outcome of this.
Vertex Posted April 18, 2006 Posted April 18, 2006 I don't think he is necessarily gay, I just feel that he doesn't know how to deal with jealousy. He seems insecure to me. Regardless if he is going to treat you that way when you're not even in a relationship with him...
Walk Posted April 19, 2006 Posted April 19, 2006 In reality, he's madly in love with the man who hugged you, and now he's upset with you for moving in on his territory. I would bet he's at least bi. But hard to tell from a post. I found, from experience, that it is much more productive to simply ask what the heck is going on then attempt to figure it out by clues and games. Even if you have to see him every day. I've asked guys out that I've had to see every day, and been rejected. It was awkward seeing them the first few times after I asked, but honestly I'm happier knowing I took the bull by the horns, then always wondering "what if". And even if we didn't hook up romantically, we had cleared the air and could be friends without the game playing and mixed signals. College doesn't change the fact that you are an adult, and you'll learn that rejection isn't the worst fate in the world. Might be better to bite that bullet sooner, rather than later.
Author Spank'n'Rationality Posted April 21, 2006 Author Posted April 21, 2006 Well, thank you all for your comments/opinions. I too am starting to wonder about the homosexual factor; he's been giving some really lenghty backrubs to our guy friends. *laughing, but I am serious* Anyway, I still haven't asked him yet; he had to go out of town today, so I have until Monday to determine what I am going to do. He has been nicer to me these past couple of days, though he has still been kind of "sassy" toward me concerning some things...so, I dont' know. However, I'm not sure if I could really like him as a "significant other"; we are so different: he is really private, older, more experienced (he has been around), kind of egotistical, materialistic, and republican (not that being republican is that bad; my parents are republican, but seriously I am not sure how having such different values could really work out)! God, I don't even know why I like him. I mean, we are from the same town; we actually graduated from the same high school, though he graduated a few years ahead of me; I actually hadn't met him until college. I am suprised I didn't know him, because we are from ten-buck-two--seriously, it is a really small community. Anyway, I just don't know what to do; or if I sould even do anything, since I can't even say why I like him. Grrr, this is annoying. I mean, my first (and only) boyfriend and I dated for so long (we had known eachother since infancy) that I don't know how to really go about dating someone I have only known for a couple of months. What do men like in women? I have never really had experience with these sort of things, so I am sorry if I sound immature by asking. I am just inept in the art of "dating." Any more advice would be greatly appreciated!
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