uRabbit Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 So here's my situation. My girlfriend and I were supposed to do stuff this weekend, right. Nothing life-changing. Just be together and stuff. Friday, she finds out that her aunt has bought her and her cousins tickets to go to a concert that night. So she goes. She says she'll call me when she gets out of the concert and settles down. She never called. Saturday, I called her around 10:30am. She answers, but she's still in bed. So I tell her to call me when she gets up. Noon rolls around and I try calling her. Someone answers (but doesn't say anything), then hangs up. I call back and twice in a row the call was ignored (cut connection). Then I call twice more and the phone has been turned off (goes straight to voicemail). I decide to head over to her house, cause I'm worried. Her mom calls and says, "She's with her cousins and doesn't have her phone right now." So in my head, I'm like, "That's a lie..." So I call her phone again. She picks up. Apparently, she let one of her cousins borrow the phone and she didn't tell her that she had calls. Then she said that her phone was dying and that she'd call me later. I told her that I didn't like that she didn't call me to tell me there was a change of plans. I said that two of my ex-girlfriends have done that, and I hated it. She said, "Then just break up with me if that's what I'm doing to you." She never called that day. Today, I call her around noon again. She answers. Says she's at her cousins arranging an easter-egg hunt and what-not. Says she'll call me when she gets home. She has school tomorrow, so she has to be home. But it's now 4:15 and she still hasn't called. So. Why didn't she call me at all over the weekend? Don't you think that's showing a little disregard for my feelings? I'm not mad that she is hanging with her cousins instead of me; I'm upset that she never called to cancel our plans, and still hasn't called to tell me what's going on and what-not. When I was trying to call yesterday, and the calls were getting ignored and stuff, I pretty much had a nervous breakdown. My skin started to burn up. My muscles were twitching. I got an instant headache. Etc. In the past, whenever my calls got ignored and I couldn't reach my girlfriend (not my current one; this is the first instance like this), it meant that my girlfriend was doing something she wasn't supposed to be, or she was pissed at me for some reason and didn't want to speak with me. That's happened to me with two girls. Now this one (though a bit different situation). That's why I had that nervous breakdown. And now I'm just really upset that she wouldn't find a few minutes each day just to check-up on me and see how I'm doing and stuff. Especially since she broke our plans without telling me. So. What should I do? Should I call her tonight or should I wait for her to call? What should I say to her? How should I go about telling her what I think about how she handled it, and how much she hurt me with saying I should break up with her?
MadDog Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 You have two options at this point: 1. Break up with her & find a girl who takes a relationship more seriously (recommended) 2. Stick with her, tell her why you felt badly, & hope she's more considerate next time. Her "take it or leave it" attitude hints that this option won't work too well though.
Vertex Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 "I said that two of my ex-girlfriends have done that, and I hated it. She said, "Then just break up with me if that's what I'm doing to you." She never called that day." I know, however, a lot of people don't like being compared to exes. This comment seemed a little out of the blue to me and wasn't really necessary. Regardless it seems like she doesn't have the consideration to let you know of your change in plans. She doesn't seem to be making any effort to see eye-to-eye with you. Her little "break up with me" taunt seems very indicative of her general attitude about the relationship. She doesn't seem to be taking it as seriously as you are.
reservoirdog1 Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 To put it bluntly, I don't think she cares about the relationship. That being said, however, the problem with your approach this weekend so far is that you sounded desperate and clingy. Now, if she was already working her way out of the relationship, then it didn't matter if you came across that way or not. But if she wasn't, then you succeeded in repelling her. To find out if I'm right or not, I suggest you don't phone her. If possible, go out somewhere tonight and don't answer your phone if she calls. Try to make plans for Monday night as well. It's OK to answer her calls on Monday, but tell her you're already busy. If she calls, the idea is for you to make yourself LESS available to her. That will make you more attractive to her. And if she doesn't call you at all, then you have your answer.
Yamaha Posted April 17, 2006 Posted April 17, 2006 Any women who tells you to break up with her has already checked out of your relationship. See the writing on the wall, dude. She is not your g/f and you are just now starting to realize that fact. Stop worrying about her because it is strictly one-sided.
aleatoryd Posted April 17, 2006 Posted April 17, 2006 Take a break from the relationship as she either 1) Isn't taking it very seriously 2) At the least doesn't consider it the same way you do. If the sparks gone out of the relationship then you need time away from each other to reflect on why you are together. One thing though - I'd be wary or tarnishing all girls with the same brush just because of your previous experience. That is a self fulfilling prophecy as you attitude about this will affect you behaviour to her hence you comment to her about: "...told her that I didn't like that she didn't call me to tell me there was a change of plans. I said that two of my ex-girlfriends have done that" which led to "Then just break up with me if that's what I'm doing to you." You think that way, you tell her and lo and behold she will act that way because of what you are saying to her. Drop the whole thing, take the break and decide to either 1) Apologise for the comment, forget about it and try to carry on or 2) End the relationship. Stop seeming so clingy! All the best.
Author uRabbit Posted April 17, 2006 Author Posted April 17, 2006 I dunno how I've been clingy... She's clingy too. I don't know how we went from what we were, to this. She write poems about us. Daily, she tells me of how she feels. Etc., etc. Think she met a guy at that concert?
Recommended Posts