Groovy Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 Not sure where to begin. I've only dated 1 guy for 3 months, in 9 months and he couldn't get it up- despite being 35. I hung out with my friend the other night and talked to someone my age who came across as a little stupid. Then I talked to this guy who was 50 and he seemed a lot better for conversation. For his age he had a great body, piercing green eyes, all his hair and he could pull off the hip 2 earrings thing. He has a good job. I heard he was interested and I told my friend he was too old for me, I am 33. But I agreed he was handsome! He wanted to take me for a spin on his Harley. Because my friend and her family has known him for 7 years I decided it was safe. He was a gentleman and I loved his Harley! He wants to see me again and I got his number. I loved talking to him and I sensed something beautiful about him. I haven't called yet because I have a hard time getting past his age. Yet I meet men my age who can't get it up, their just stupid, lazy or unattractive. Plus I'm really not into all the bulls*it that has happened in our younger society- it seems we've lost touch with morals when it comes to faithfulness, respect and honesty. My only real bone to pick aside from age is he smokes and I don't. I have always been annoyed by men wanting to date women so much younger. And here I am considering going out with him! I haven't dated in a while and wonder if I should at least let him buy me dinner and go on his Harley again.
2sunny Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 I say why not? It's not like you are trying to marry him right now. Spend some time with him a bit and see if you enjoy his company. If nothing else, he may end up being a very good friend for years down the road. Have fun with it, when it's not fun anymore, then let it go....
hyakku Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 He was a gentleman and I loved his Harley! He wants to see me again and I got his number. I loved talking to him and I sensed something beautiful about him. So you are going to leave a guy who isn't only handsome, has a good paying job, runs a harley (badass), and gives you stimulating conversation and you feel a deep connection with, because he is older than you? Didn't think so.
jerbear Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 My thing from a guy dating say a 50 yr old woman and I'm 31 now. I do not like the idea that she could have "spawned" me. Heck my mom is 50; just bad thoughts... :sick: Platonic friendships, sure. Flings, nope. Marriage potential, nope. Kids, nope. I'm not into Hollywood marriages or relationships.
Craig Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 Age is largely superficial once you get past 25 or so as long as the two of you are compatible. I say go for it, slowly, enjoy the "relationship" and see what happens. Being happy with your S.O. while a simple goal is elusive to many people. If you have the chance to be happy in your relationship, tolerant and accepting of the age difference then go for it with your eyes wide open. Sure (if you stay together) when you are 50 he'll be 67 but if you stay together I'm assuming you would be happy with the relationship. So when faced with a choice of being happy or conforming to what you think might be other peoples thoughts choose happiness.
Curmudgeon Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 Age is neither superficial nor substantive. It simply is what it is. Some of us age gracefully and others of us don't. Age disparity sometimes matters and sometimes doesn't. It all depends on the maturity level of both parties and how comfortable they are with themselves and one another. For the long term, many men of 50 won't want children either because they already have them or because they're looking forward to retirement someday. On the other hand, if childless, they might want children after all and seek a younger woman for that express purpose. It's a toss-up. I divorced at 48 and married my wife at 50. I deciededly didn't want any more children and I decidedly wanted someone at or near my own age. My wife is only two years younger and children weren't an option (both of us were already grandparents) so it worked for us.
Adunaphel Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 I haven't dated in a while and wonder if I should at least let him buy me dinner and go on his Harley again. Go for it! Take the time you need to decide if the age gap is too big of a problem, but you can enjoy some good company while you think it over.
SuperMonk Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 I don't mind dating women my age of older, but once I hit the age of 28 or get closer, I would prefer dating someone younger. The women around my age that are single, are single and are unmarried for a good reason. And it's not the same for men, for the women ready to flame me. I see alot of older women younger man posts on this, it's usually from a woman who are in their late 20s to 30s. In time they will know it will not last because the younger guy (unless he is ugly or dorky) will smart up and date women at his age and younger.
Sand&Water Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 Not sure where to begin. I've only dated 1 guy for 3 months, in 9 months and he couldn't get it up- despite being 35. I hung out with my friend the other night and talked to someone my age who came across as a little stupid. Then I talked to this guy who was 50 and he seemed a lot better for conversation. For his age he had a great body, piercing green eyes, all his hair and he could pull off the hip 2 earrings thing. He has a good job. I heard he was interested and I told my friend he was too old for me, I am 33. But I agreed he was handsome! He wanted to take me for a spin on his Harley. Because my friend and her family has known him for 7 years I decided it was safe. He was a gentleman and I loved his Harley! He wants to see me again and I got his number. I loved talking to him and I sensed something beautiful about him. I haven't called yet because I have a hard time getting past his age. Yet I meet men my age who can't get it up, their just stupid, lazy or unattractive. Plus I'm really not into all the bulls*it that has happened in our younger society- it seems we've lost touch with morals when it comes to faithfulness, respect and honesty. My only real bone to pick aside from age is he smokes and I don't. I have always been annoyed by men wanting to date women so much younger. And here I am considering going out with him! I haven't dated in a while and wonder if I should at least let him buy me dinner and go on his Harley again. Groovy Are you the adventurous type of girl? or Are you the realistic type? -- Perhaps you care more about your future, than a behaviour that's an outcome of spontaneity. Choose the route that best fits your standards, and goals. [ In my opinion, Go For It! what have you got to lose ] Good Luck.
alphamale Posted April 17, 2006 Posted April 17, 2006 I have always been annoyed by men wanting to date women so much younger. And here I am considering going out with him! younger women have always been attracted to older men who have something to offer.
Yamaha Posted April 17, 2006 Posted April 17, 2006 The problem I see is that at 50 he will age at a much faster rate than yourself. Will you still think he is handsome in 10 years? 15 years? I would keep him as a platonic friend unless you just want a fling, in which case age doesn't matter.
alphamale Posted April 17, 2006 Posted April 17, 2006 The problem I see is that at 50 he will age at a much faster rate than yourself. Will you still think he is handsome in 10 years? 15 years?. yes, 17 yrs age difference it a bit of a stretch. I would say 10 yrs max.
aleatoryd Posted April 17, 2006 Posted April 17, 2006 Weigh it all up? Try it out? Find whichever decision makes you feel comfortable. You could just see how friends "seeing each other" goes and if more develops well you know what to do. Basically test the waters. I have several friends who have father's 16 years older than their mothers so that age range isn't uncommon. They are perfectly happy. There's no real written rule to this and emotions and how people "connect" will often dictate action. Besides if it's true that us guys mature slower than you girls (lol!) maybe he's about the same intellectual level. You can only find your answers by seeing what happens.
ms_jnj Posted April 17, 2006 Posted April 17, 2006 This is an interesting topic. I'm in my early 20's...and I can't find guys in that age range that aren't just as annoying as 16 year olds. Because I am quite ambitious, and mentally older than my years, I've recently discovered that I don't have the patience for guys my age or younger (unless an exception to the rule comes around). Mostly it's the getting trashed every night, sleeping with everything that moves, and demanding model-like beauty from anyone that isn't a one-night stand, despite their premature male pattern baldness and beer guts that ends up irritating me. I like going out for drinks, but don't like to drink to the point where I am puking on a street corner, I enjoy sex but am not promiscuous, and I'm not perfect and I don't expect my man to be...and finding similar values in a man my age has proven near impossible. I suppose I am ulta picky. So I'm starting to realize that it looks like my only hope of finding someone that I can actually respect is to bump up my age bracket. At the same time, the idea of doing that intimidates me...I don't want to be with a guy that only wants to date me for my youth, I do want someone that will one day be interested in having a family, and frankly, when a guy is closer in age to my parents than to me, or could have been my father...that makes me downright uncomfortable. So what's the moral of the story? I'm struggling with the same issues as you are --- and I'm starting to lean to the "go for it" attitude when it comes to dating older men. *shrug*
blind_otter Posted April 17, 2006 Posted April 17, 2006 For the long term, many men of 50 won't want children either because they already have them or because they're looking forward to retirement someday. On the other hand, if childless, they might want children after all and seek a younger woman for that express purpose. It's a toss-up. I was born when my Dad was 50. My mom was 28. I think that some people just get along, and their age doesn't matter. They have some kind of visceral connection. Maybe it's pheromones. The world may never know. But I wouldn't worry too much. At least not in terms of the second date.
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