consumed Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 I hate getting my emotions messed up, just when I think things couldn't be better and I'm focusing on myself I findsome who makes me go crazy and my emotions get all messed up. Is it humanly possible to stop yourself from falling or atleast slow your mind down?
Outcast Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 Yep. You fall for someone when you dwell on him. You have to forbid yourself to think about him. Google 'thought stopping' for how. Every time you start thinking about what a hunk he is, remind yourself that looks don't guarantee a nice personality. When you see him doing something you like, remind yourself that he probably has smelly socks and won't do any housework. You think yourself into love and can as easily think yourself out. And lust, BTW, is not a symptom of love so if you tingle when you see him remind yourself that people are designed to want to procreate and that lust does not equal love.
Groovy Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 I hate getting my emotions messed up, just when I think things couldn't be better and I'm focusing on myself I findsome who makes me go crazy and my emotions get all messed up. Is it humanly possible to stop yourself from falling or atleast slow your mind down? Only to remember that love takes time to grow, and the feelings that flood you are only infatuation for someone you do not know as a person yet.
hyakku Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 I hate getting my emotions messed up, just when I think things couldn't be better and I'm focusing on myself I findsome who makes me go crazy and my emotions get all messed up. Is it humanly possible to stop yourself from falling or atleast slow your mind down? I don't think there is a fool proof way. But there are a few ways to halt it for a bit or slow it down. Keep in mind, I use these because not only does it suck to invest time that could have been well spent on some other woman with one who ends up not being my type, but also because you tend to make horribly stupid decisions when infatuation takes over. 1. Remind yourself how many people of the opposite sex there are that probably all have diffferent traits or are more physically attractive then the person I'm trying to slow feelings down for. Not that they are bad, I just need to remind myself that I could pass up an even BETTER opportunity if I rush into things too quickly. 2. Consider if its out of lust, desperation, or actual feelings. Sometimes your horny, sometimes your lonely, and sometimes you actually like them. You need to sort out which one it is, it also keeps your mind busy so that you are preoccupied trying to sort them that you aren't focused too much on falling in love. 3. There could be traits about this person I despise, so becoming infatuated is stupid until I know them. Thats just a few. It takes a while to get used to it though, it won't happen over night, but I sometimes prefer it this way that way I can make better decisions, and see clearly that way I can move towards my goal alot quicker (whether its forming a deep friendship, a relationship, or just some fun sex). Speaking of this topic, are there any proven ways to decrease attraction? I actually like looked online one day, because sometimes I get bugged out when women start pouring their guts out to me so I kinda need to get them unattracted, that way I don't have to deal with being rushed into anything too quickly. I know it sounds stupid but deal with it.
aleatoryd Posted April 17, 2006 Posted April 17, 2006 I agree with hyakku it is very easy to make the wrong decisions when infactuated - I tend to make stupid comments and either sound pessimistic or come on too strongly. There is definitely a part of me that fears I'm building an unknown person up to be the one who will save me from loneliness/singleness and offer me the solution. But infactuation/lust/and all that tends to cloud my judgement. I used to react badly to the perceived situations and thus don't actually make a decision based on sound logic. At the moment I'm just getting comfortable being single and while I like a girl I'm trying to rationalise. Not thinking about her and focusing my energy else where such as on this website allows me to express my romanticisms (well my views) explore what I think and "bounce" ideas off others. I can also learn from others experiences and maybe offer some help/comfort. Unveiling the mystery of who they are and discovering the person usually starts to temper the emotions. Unchecked emotions while vey exciting can be very harmful and remember what goes up can come crashing down. We've all been there and done it the whole crazy head over heels thing but you could ruin a beautiful thing. Get to know them better and if you feel comfortable let others know you intentions/feelings either on this forum or someone in your real life who you trust. If I've learnt one thing - we tend to screw things up when we are under the influence of infactuation e.g. stupid e-mails, phone calls, text messages. We try to rush things... I hope we all learn from each other. Take care.
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