hugme Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 Hey...soooo I have a bit of a male problem happening in my life right now. Oh sorry if this is a bit long! Just over a month ago one of my male friends introduced me to one of his friends (he shall be referred to as being ASS) and it appeared as though we really hit it off well. We spent basically every night talking to each other online for about 4-5 hours and at times throughout the day whenever I wasn’t busy with studying. ASS is 25, has been single for two years, has had four past relationships all which were long term and has slept with four females (those who he was in a relationship with). He is close to his brother, who he lives with now, is close to his parent and speaks highly of his family. We have several things in common ranging from entertainment, important past life events, certain goals to beliefs and values. It started to sound all good and it appeared as though that maybe he was the “nice” male that I was looking for. So we planned a date. The date went well. We watched a movie, he showed me his artwork, I met his brother, and we went to a park near his place. We spent most of the day at the park watching people and children play whilst talking a lot and flirting. He expressed his feelings for me and said that he really likes me and that he wished for more. After that we had our first kiss. We opened up to each other about our past relationship experiences and how they have affected us and both mentioned that we have male/female trust issues due to these relationships. The rest of the night we continued to talk, he told me numerous times that I have a cute nose and cheeks, we became quite close and touchy and feely and I told him that I also really like him. The next morning he expressed his feelings for me again and before I left he told me that he’d be seeing me next weekend and that we’d talk throughout the week as I was busy with exam studying. Three days later I had not heard from him so I sent him an sms asking him how he was. No reply. I also tried calling him the next day and no pick up. The following night my friend who introduced us asked me how things were going and asked whether I was talking to ASS and we figured out that he had me on block. I told my friend what had happened and he felt bad as he knows my history with males and he thought that his friend would be different. It's been three weeks now since the date and ASS hasn't bothered to contact me. I still somewhat have feelings for him as he was the first guy in quite a long time that I have been able to trust so quickly and feel comfortable around. I am confused as to what went wrong. His post date behaviour is not congruent with his pre date actions and talk. I would like to have at least a good friendship with this male but I do not know whether I should forget about him and pretend as though nothing has happened if he is ever out with my friend when I am around. OR do I go over there, restrain him and stab him with my heels for a few hours. Maybe I should just throw my heels at his head and hope that they knock him out?? Ah, I need help
whichwayisup Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 Forget him. He IS an ass! He either got cold feet at the last minute and used the "I'm going to busy" line on you, or he isn't interested as much as you thought he was. Honestly, I wouldn't waste your time and energy trying to figure him out. Just a word of caution...When you're getting to know someone, talk to them on the phone more, get together and really talk, rather than doing it online. Sure, maybe talking online you can say things that one wouldn't say face to face, and you can open up more, but if you want to really "know" someone, it has to be face to face. I say, ignore him too. Just go on with your life like it was before you met him. IF by chance he really has been busy, he'll contact you. If not, well, I think his silence for 3 weeks has spoken for itself. He probably has NO guts to just say he isn't ready for anything serious.
littlepiggy1 Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 It definitely sounds like he is not interested and is too gutless to tell you. You're better off without someone like that. *hugs*
Adunaphel Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 How weird. It might actually be, as WWIU suggested, that he's not ready for a serious relationship yet, but he decided to spare your feelings (or spare himself some embarassement, the filthy coward) and not tell you. Perhaps he does not even realize that such a long silence would hurt more than telling you straight away he is not ready for anything serious right now. He might want to keep a door open in case he might change his mind about you later in future (not realizing that this is not the way to do it). But don't count on it. He might have met someone else. Can your common friend do a little investigation about why he acted that way? (if this might be of some help) Forget him, anyway. Stabbing him with your heels might help you to get over it, but it's unfortunately against the law. Next time you meet him, though, you are entitled to point out the fact that he acted like an ASS. Keep those heels at hand, anyway, in case you can seize an occasion of knocking him out while you are alone and with no witnesses around.
Author hugme Posted April 17, 2006 Author Posted April 17, 2006 Thanks for the replies. I found it easier time efficient wise to talk to him online due to my uni schedule as it allowed me to do my reports whilst still talk. I have questioned my friend whether the ASS has mentioned anything but he said that his behaviour has been completely normal and has not said anything about what happened. My friend is currently having his own relationship problems so I have refrained from annoying him with anymore questions. I also think that ASS wasn’t ready for anything serious or maybe he got scared due to his trust issue. It irritates me that he sweet talked himself so much and even told me that he would like me to meet his parents, which made me uneasy and then decided to distant himself. It felt like I was still with the ex and my head was going all over the place. But yes lucky or unlucky for him I know when the ASS will be at home alone next for a long period of time thanks to my friend so my spiked heels and I may pay him a visit. I am not one for revenge but I am quite over males screwing around or using me.
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