panthera_leo Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 So hey guys... you know how u have those crap days... and the good days? Well today is certainly a CRAP day. Its been 2 months since the break up..still feeling like it was yesterday. I haven't spoken to him for 3 weeks..dont intend to. Im giving him "time alone" which is what he wanted. Its over...i can accept that, but im just stuck in a rut. When it rains... it pours. These past few months have really shown me how life has a habit of s***ting on you. After my bf of 2 years left me i was distraught. 2 weeks later my house got broken into. 2 weeks after that i was in a car accident on the motorway. Im ok, just shaken up, but my car isn't. s*** certainly does happen. Im getting really vivid dreams about my accident - but instead of being alone in my car i have my ex with me. In my dream im happy, im with him. Today i feel like crap i just want it all to end! Isn't it so annoying how dreams just screw u up!? But, iv gotta carry on. I believe that these things in life just make us stronger. Its up to us whether or not we let them rule our lives. Get up, dust yourself off, tomorrow is another day. Guess im just ranting here sorry, i just felt like i needed to let off some steam.
tikigods Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 Im sorry that all of that happened to you :/ I am glad you are okay though One thing that might help you though is instead of looking at NC as something you are doing for him, turn it into something you want to do for youself. If you are only going to do it for him then you are still allowing the guy to have control of the situation and of your feelings. Take control of your life, and stop living it for him you will start feeling sooo much better
Chinook Posted April 17, 2006 Posted April 17, 2006 I agree with Tikigods. To go forwards with this for you, to move on and heal and deal with the crap life throws at us, you need to turn this into something for you. I dearly loved my ex and he loved me - just our circumstances were a bit s***e. But I realised that by staying in contact with him, I am never going to heal and as hard as it is, I had to break off contact. I'd have him back in a heart beat but I know it is never going to happen. So to protect MYSELF and heal MYSELF and move MYSELF forward... I told him I was cutting all contact. I blocked his email, MSN and other messages and I don't have a cell phone. I turned the house phone off and over to answering machine... and basically cut him out of my life. It's hurting like hell but I know that one day it simply HAS TO get better. It HAS TO. Take care of yourself
Brittanyjean06 Posted April 17, 2006 Posted April 17, 2006 It's been 8 months since my break up,( first love)...and just last night I had a really awfful dream, maybe because I saw him the other day in the car, now that really shook me up, I had to stop driving...What I can really say is that, you are going to feel like your stuck in ruts, but there wil be better days after those, you just gotta have hope, and time will go bye sweetie... Yeah It really sucks when one bad thing happen, another one happens, and well another one. It's like life is trying to say something to you. It has only been 2 months for you, so of course you will feel like pure crap, but you will feel better in a little while. My ex hasn't talked to me in 8 months, in a way Im pretty thankful for that. Try to get advice from people who 'HAVE" gone through this, they know for a fact that it one day GET better, and stay that way
Author panthera_leo Posted April 17, 2006 Author Posted April 17, 2006 Thank u for ur responses. Yeah i know your both right, i have to initiate NC for myself. He wanted to be friends but i told him i could't deal with that right now, he didn't understand at first but i explained that it would be hard for me as i love him so much. I cant understand how he can be friends! Maybe he wants to keep me as a reserve? i dunno?! So i told him not to contact me and he's respected my wishes. My situation is similar to yours Chinook. Our circumstances got in the way of having a relationship, plus the fact that he wanted to "live his life" a little more and "be alone" before he settled down. He did say that he hopes we can get together when he's got all this crap out of his sytem - but by then no doubt i'll have moved on with my life - im not waiting around. Im angry, upset, i feel like iv been given false hopes for the past 2 years of my life, im totally gutted and i really need to move myself on. Im trying so hard but i can't stop thinking about him. Im having really horrible dreams and its prolonging my pain. Im sure someone can relate. I wish i could just fast forward into the future to a place when i dont feel like this! Dont we all. Thanx guys, its nice to know im not alone hey we gotta keep smiling.
Brittanyjean06 Posted April 17, 2006 Posted April 17, 2006 hahah lord knows It would be so nice to just jump in to the future and get rid of this horrible pain, but we can't cheat life, We have to go through it.. I hate those stupid stupid dreams, and it not only prolongs the pain, It brings back the pain, that very freaking moment you wake up, your still in the early stages of it I think, is he your first love? time, can't wait for MORE time to pass
Author panthera_leo Posted April 17, 2006 Author Posted April 17, 2006 lol yeah ur right Brittany. How annoying is it when u wake up and u feel reeeaally crappy and it lasts all day! grrrrrr stupid everything! Its doing my head in, he's the first thing on my mind in the morning - i wish i could wake up feeling happy instead of thinking of him. He's not my first love, no. Im only 20 but i was with a guy when i was 16-18. He was my first love. That was hard to get over but my recent breakup is much harder isn't love a pain in the arse. Imma become a nun... i like that idea I like to think, that we can only go forward. There is light at the end of the tunnel.....somewhere! 8 months and your still feeling bad? aw i feel for you - im sure coming on LS has helped you alot tho, i know it has for me.
FNG2006 Posted April 17, 2006 Posted April 17, 2006 Hey there. I totally understand how it feels to be stuck in a rut. Just keep your head up and things will get better. Hang with your friends during these tough times. I agree with the NO CONTACT as well - as it's helping me in my situation also. Good luck with everything!
Brittanyjean06 Posted April 19, 2006 Posted April 19, 2006 wow some hope for me! if you had gotten over your first love, I'm sure you can get over this one with just a some time! I know breaksups are the things that help mold you in to who you should be, I guess it is true when they say each love is greater than the last, than each love hurts more than the last..would be the reciprocol of that Give it time, and I'm sure you will feel better!! in time
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