Guest Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 Facts: BF and I have been dating for nine months. He told me at Christmas I was the love of his life. He always referred to the future - "Forty years from now...." "When we tell our grandkids this story..." etc.. We both have children from a previous marrriage. We both have been divorced over seven years. We decided we didn't want to have a child together because we so enjoy our time alone we were/are looking forward to that time together - The youngest of "our" kids will be entering fifth grade this fall. Just a few weeks ago he caught me totally by surprise by telling me he didn't know if he ever wanted to get married?!!? This was in total contradiction to everything we had discussed since last July. I specifically asked, "Are you are really saying that you don't want to get married to me?" He said, "I love you. You may be the one. I just don't know. I don't know if I want to get married or not. I don't know if you are the one or not." After a number of conversations, he told me (five days ago now) that he didn't want to date anyone else, but he needed time and space. He said he can't see me because if he does he loses all control. (We have an amazing sex life...) He said having sex with me makes it difficult to think clearly. He is Catholic and I am not religious - He said he is concerned the religion may be an issue. He said he also is wondering if he really wants to be a Step-Father. I have respected his request and have not called, emailed, etc. for five days. He did send me an email two days after our conversation - It wasn't personal though - just reference to an article so I did not respond to it. During this time, I have had an interesting gentleman ask me out - While my obvious desire is to be with the man I love, he isn't putting much love or effort forth in my opinion - How can someone really love you and not contact you? Not check in to see how you are doing? Should I go out with this other guy? How do I handle this? Do I just let him go, not contact him and go on with my life? The hardest part is trying to understand what really changed. If we all simply gave each other the truth, these relationships would be much easier. Any insight/suggestions would be appreciated!
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