krispie Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 I havent dated for 3 years and now on the edge of starting a new relationship.. However, I don't know why I feel uneasy about this.. is it because I'm so used to being on my own and not used to being attached? How do I make myself more at ease at the thought of having a new relationship?
MadDog Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 Just take it slow. You're probably a little nervous because it's been so long & you wonder if you'll remember what to say or do in a relationship. I figure it's like riding a bike & you'll just get the feel for it right away. Good luck & let us know how it goes.
luvtoto Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 I relate to your problem, Krispie. Even though I am dating someone, I find myself hanging on tight to my independence. Don't know what to do about it, either. We fit each other pretty good, he's the same way. I would rather pull every hair out of my head, than to put myself out there for a guy to stomp on me again. Even with my current BF. My motto: Need my personal space!!
AriaIncognito Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 I went through the same thing. After a 4 year relationship ended, I didn't date a soul for 3 years. When I did finally meet someone, he was gung ho about us dating, and I was hesitant. I'd grown so used to not having to answer to anyone, to doing my own thing, to not putting up with the whole emotional rollercoaster that is dating, that I didn't want to date him. I did, however, end up dating him, for a year in fact. We didn't work out, and broke up last November, but still. Now I'm back in the "i need a relationship" camp. LOL. I need to find a happy medium. I'm currently "seeing" someone (since late january actually) but he's "non-committal". It's tough. Dating is hard. Try, if you can, to find a way to balance independence, and being with someone. it's hard, but you'll be better off in the long run, regardless. Good luck to you! Jennifer
luvtoto Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 I went through the same thing. After a 4 year relationship ended, I didn't date a soul for 3 years. When I did finally meet someone, he was gung ho about us dating, and I was hesitant. I'd grown so used to not having to answer to anyone, to doing my own thing, to not putting up with the whole emotional rollercoaster that is dating, that I didn't want to date him. I did, however, end up dating him, for a year in fact. We didn't work out, and broke up last November, but still. Now I'm back in the "i need a relationship" camp. LOL. I need to find a happy medium. I'm currently "seeing" someone (since late january actually) but he's "non-committal". It's tough. Dating is hard. Try, if you can, to find a way to balance independence, and being with someone. it's hard, but you'll be better off in the long run, regardless. Good luck to you! Jennifer I know what you mean, Jennifer. The funny thing is is that about 4 years ago, I was gung-ho about marriage. But, got hurt reeeally bad in that relationship, and now *I* am commitment phobic! Go figure. I hate it sometimes. Especially when I have had a hard day at work, and would just love to come home to a loving husband. But, whenever someone gets too close I run for the hills or nit-pic his attributes to the point I am not interested anymore. It's a curse! I need advice as much as the OP!
AriaIncognito Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 Me too, me too. I was very marriage minded, during that 4 year relationship. Then, in the relationship I had last year, I wasn't at all, in fact, I thought maybe I'd just date him forever (lol) but that was moreso because over time I knew he wasn't one i could marry and be happy with. With the current whatever he is that i have (only not defined due to his own commitment issues it seems) I'm back on the marriage minded track... Emotions. Can't live with them, can't apply logic to them either lol Jennifer
ms_jnj Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 I went through the same thing. After a 4 year relationship ended, I didn't date a soul for 3 years. When I did finally meet someone, he was gung ho about us dating, and I was hesitant. I'd grown so used to not having to answer to anyone, to doing my own thing, to not putting up with the whole emotional rollercoaster that is dating, that I didn't want to date him. I did, however, end up dating him, for a year in fact. We didn't work out, and broke up last November, but still. Now I'm back in the "i need a relationship" camp. LOL. I need to find a happy medium. I'm currently "seeing" someone (since late january actually) but he's "non-committal". It's tough. Dating is hard. Try, if you can, to find a way to balance independence, and being with someone. it's hard, but you'll be better off in the long run, regardless. Good luck to you! Jennifer I totally relate to what you've said. After being with someone for five years at a very young age, I've come to cherish my independence, and feel a bit uncomfortable with the idea of a serious relationship (although I definately want one!) just because I am afraid that my independence will be compromised. For me, it first started as a need to prove that I could make it on my own without a man in my life and, well it worked! So my challenge when I find someone will definately be to balance independence with being with someone, as you say. But I hope that being aware of what I will need to work on is the first step!
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