Guest Posted April 15, 2006 Posted April 15, 2006 I realize the only one who can truly answer my questions is the man who recently told me he needs time...However, since he needs time I am giving him that and going crazy in the process. So, maybe an objective party can provide some insight on my situation. My BF and I have been together nine months - Everything was pretty perfect until a couple of weeks ago - he always spoke of the future - Saying things like, "Forty years from now, will you still do this?" "When we tell our grandkids...." He fell in love with me first, called me the Love of His Life at Christmas, etc.. He was ahead of me in the relationship until about February. I would say at that point, we were both totally in love - We both have children from prior marriages - We both have been married once - Three weeks ago we started talking about the details of marriage - joint checking accounts, pre-nup's, where we would live. etc.. Then, a week later, he told me, "I don't know if I ever want to get married." This was the first I ever heard of that - He told me from the beginning he wanted to find the one and get married. I was in total shock! There had been no clues, I had no idea he was feeling that. He had always said, "All I want is you happy!" I felt betrayed as I thought we had open communication. I thought if he had any reservations he would have been sharing those with me along the way. I don't know when I would have learned this because it was only through my questioning that his statement was finally made. Fast forward to last Tuesday - He told me he loved me and needed time to sort out his thoughts - He said he can't see me because when he does, he loses control - He said if he sees me, he will want me - We, by the way, have an incredible sex life... He asked that I let him contact me when he is ready - He said he realized this is not what I want, but he needs this right now so that he can resolve issues such as - He's Catholic and I am not - Whether or not he wants to be a step-father, etc.. Now it is Saturday - four LONG days have passed - I have not once called or emailed him - I am respecting his request - By the way, he emailed me a news article late Thursday night but I did not respond - He didn't say anything in his email that was personal - My questions are: Does this make sense to anyone out there? How can someone who loves someone else so deeply do this? I have someone else who has asked me out - should I go? Anyone insight would be much appreciated!
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