He's perfect and I'm a b....

[jhuff14]

Ok.. this is the whole story.. My boyfriend Brandon and I have been dating (this time) for 8 months. We dated about a year before we got back together and he ended up cheating on me. I am 18 now and he is 18. He was my first love and I was devastated when we broke up. I dated other guys and would call him up every once in awhile because there was always something different about him. Anyways we started hanging out more last summer and I finally gave in and started dating him more. He is a different person from before. We both are different and we have grown up more. He is the sweetest guy and he is perfect for me. I mean he has his times when he will get moody and frustrated but it is never him who starts the fights. I went thru the stage of resenting him because of the breakup I went thru before and I got over it. I finally moved on from it all and the past was the past. I have a lot of trust in him again and I know he would never do what he did before. I know they have that saying if he's done it before he will do it again. I believe he was just young and didn't value the relationship as much as he does now. We have cried over it several times and so on. Well now we are going through a little phase again. I know it is me and I don't know why I get so mad at him. He tries so hard to please me and he will do anything to make me happy. But if he doesn't say the right things to me I will get so mad. It seems like anymore I just get so frustrated. I know it could be stress, It's my senior year of High School, I have 4 weeks left and I am thinking about what I'm going to do this summer, if my ACT's are going to be high enough to get into the college I want, if the career I choose is right (becoming a RN) and a lot of other things that I have on my mind. Anyways, I will cry for no reason. I have a problem at night, almost every night I will get so upset and sometimes cry myself to sleep. He always calls me and when hes about half asleep on the phone he will tell me that he's really tired and that hes going to go to bed and that he loves me more than anything and I will get mad at him. I don't understand why I am like this and I get so mad at myself but I can't help it. And if I don't see him everyday I will get very moody. He never does anything with his friends anymore because of me. He says he would rather hang out with me anyways. I am the worst girlfriend there is and I don't know why. When we are together we have a lot of fun. We both are into riding horses, I compete in rodeos and he just got started into rodeoing a couple of months ago. We plan on getting married sometime.. He bought me a promise ring and we have our life somewhat planned out. You may think its us just being young, but I have been in other serious relationships before and its not the same. I love him more than I love myself so when I treat him like I am, it brings tears to my eyes knowing that I am hurting him. I feel very clingy and I am a horrible girlfriend, I just don't know how to change. I have always hated being alone. Everytime we say goodbye to eachother I get this sick feeling in my stomach. I just hope I can get over this and we can move on with our relationship. We have good nights but it seems like the bad nights are more frequent now. If anyone can help me out, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you for reading this.

[tikigods]

your problem is this

 

"I love him more than I love myself"

 

That right there is going to be the downfall of your relationship. You can't be happy or be in a healthy relationship when you value someone else over yourself, a relationship is about balance, and it seems that you don't have that since you are relying so much on him to bring you happiness that you can't bring yourself. Until you can love yourself, as an EQUAL then you are going to be like that and in the end he is going to get fed up with your moods and will find someone else. You guys are young, waaay to young to be like this,

[kypepeo]

I agree with the post above. You seem to have some issues with yourself and you are therefore depending too much on your boyfriend to give you some sense of validation that you can only get from loving yourself. You need to find balance coz what you are doing right now is creating an unhealthy relationship It will break your boyfriend no matter how much he loves you. Remember also that he's a human being and that humans make mistakes that hurt us. He's not perfect so one day he might hurt you. You should be able to deal with that instead of saying that you know he'll never hurt you. That's unrealistic. He probably won't do it intentionally but he might hurt you in some way or other.