daphne Posted April 15, 2006 Posted April 15, 2006 I just broke up with my boyfriend, over all things, the damn telephone. The last was the same, the one before by email. I didn't want to do it over the phone but I was emotional and couldn't believe the nonsense I was hearing. About a month into the relationship he slipped and let it out that he had been planning on moving away in a few months. I was shocked that he had pursued me and lied the entire time. We broke up in person and I wished him well. He came back and lead me on that if I decided to stay with him he would change his mind. Yes, I'm an idiot. But honestly, I knew he really liked me so I figured it wouldn't be hard to get him to stay. Recently, I was getting kind of tired of his hot and cold behavior and I backed off. We had alrady talked about it before and he was really improving. But this time the more I backed off so did he. So we spoke on the phone and I said the only conclusion is that he's just not really invested in the relationship and that I'm tired of being demanding. I'm used to guys treating me very well. I know when a guy is crazy about me. I felt that way in the beginning but it's just too early in a relationship to blow hot and cold. He admitted that since he didn't want to stay in teh city where we live he couldn't really invest himself fully in something permanent at this time. I was floored, angry and I felt really really really stupid. So we broke up. He couldn't understand that I don't want to be friends. I told him he was selfish and a liar. I know I'll get over this. I know I'll find someone better for me. But it still feels lousey that the one guy since "the one" to really make me feel like it's possible to find someone right for you was just smoke and mirrors. I've worked really hard at not being jaded through the liars, abusers and sociopaths that I've encountered. I just feel like it's time for me to give up entirely at relationships. But if I don't, one thing I'll have learned is that when every other guy around you is willing to give you the attention your boyfriend begrudges you, you're with the wrong guy. I won't settle for that highschool crap ever again.
justagirliegirl Posted April 15, 2006 Posted April 15, 2006 I'm sorry to hear that things ended. Did you have no desire to move to where he was going? Was there a pressing reason he wanted to move or did he just feel like moving? I don't know how long you two were together but from what you said it does sound like he just wasn't quite invested enough. I think after a period of time people tend to include their partners in any big decisions. Sorry things didn't work out for you and yes you are right about the high school game playing. Who needs that headache.
Author daphne Posted April 15, 2006 Author Posted April 15, 2006 Hi justa, thanks for responding. We never got to the part where I would have considered moving with him. All I heard was that he was lying to me again, wasn't willing to invest in anything permanent and I was out of there. It sounded like a copout to me to be honest. I think he's just not that demonstrative and was trying to push me away. He went from telling me he loved me over the weekend to completely backing off and almost daring me to break up with him. Honestly, I can't go anywhere for at least another year since I'm sitting on company options and want them to continue to appreciate. I liked him enough to consider moving, but that wasn't hte way the conversation went. He just really doesn't like the city where we live. I didn't really get any sleep last night. This is miserable.
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