SadHatter Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 My ex girlfriend and I broke up just after Xmas and she started dating someone new very quickly, which hurt me a lot. She was very nasty to me and so I cut all contact for a good two months. She's recently started texting me (even though she is still with this new guy and is doing so behind his back/without him knowing she is doing so). Anyway, I've also started seeing someone new but have still been missing/thinking about the ex. Not sure really if I am too keen on this new girl or it is because I am still in love with my ex-gf (I probably am in all honesty). My ex-gf found out that I was seeing someone new, got her phone number and called her telling her that I was cheating on her (I wasn't/am not!) and that she was informing her because she cares about people too much and doesn't want to see her get hurt (even though she's never even met her!). My gf laughed and told my ex where to go. Later that night, I received three text messages from my ex-gf (to which I didn't reply), the first stating, "I am 100 percent jealous", the second saying, "i am so jealous of you and miss you" and the third, "Please reply, my bf is asleep next to me and he might wake up....please talk to me". The following night, she rings my house phone which surprises me. She tells me how she misses me and my family, asked how my family are, would like to see me and starts saying how do I think my family would act towards her if we thought about getting back together etc. She was basically saying she wanted to get back together. I asked her why she told me she was jealous and she said she can't help it, she misses me and she couldn't sleep all night because she kept thinking about me, even though she feels guilty about going behind her bf's back and contacting me. She asked me if we could meet Wednesday so I said it wasn't a good idea. She asked me continually and said we owed it to each other to just meet for a coffee and see how we still feel about each other if we meet (I haven't seen her since we broke up at Xmas even though we live in the same town). It came to Wednesday and she text me, "I am sorry but I can't do this, it isnt fair on my bf, I don't want to have any contact anymore" so I replied and said, "so why did you say all of that stuff to me about being healous etc.?" and she said, "If I do that, just ignore me". Finally, I asked, "so now you're telling me you prefer your bf to me?!" and she replied, "yes, sorry, pls cut all contact now." That was Wednesday, havent contacted her and havent heard from her since...What the heck am I supposed to make of all that, how is that not going to confuse anyone and mess their head up?! I feel so confused!! Does she care about me, doesn't she etc. etc?!
Vertex Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 She sounds like a game-player to me. You were doing the right thing by putting no contact into effect, and she starts contacting you then insisting you go back to no contact while sending all these confusing mixed signals and contradictory messages, all without her boyfriend knowing, etc. I think you are better off focusing on the girl you're with now -- put the ex in the past and move on from her as nothing can really come from it now.
CaliGuy Posted April 15, 2006 Posted April 15, 2006 DUDE! This is classic!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What she is doing is MAKING DAMN SURE you are on her string so that you will be there if she decides to end it with her current b/f. By talking to her and reacting to what she is saying you will become her marionette! DO NOT DO THIS! If she really wanted to be with you it wouldn't take jealousy to do it. It would be her ending it with the current boyfriend and coming to you directly, as honestly and sincerely as possible telling you she screwed up. Where the hell does she get off saying anything is "owed"??? Look, as long you answer her you're going to be feeding/meeting her emotional needs while draining time away from the new girl in your life. IIWY, I would tell the ex to hit the road and that you're not interested in her anymore. That you're not into playing her games and it's too bad she feels jealous but that's HER problem to deal with, not yours. Tell her she has no right to question you about your life. She gave that privilege up the second she dumped you.
luvtoto Posted April 15, 2006 Posted April 15, 2006 My ex-gf found out that I was seeing someone new, got her phone number and called her telling her that I was cheating on her?! Dude. Do you like dating mean people? Maybe you should call her BF and tell him that she's cheating on him. That is just wrong and immature of her. No Contact should be easy for you. Maybe even get a protection order, cause I think that's called stalking.
mental_traveller Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 Don't speak to her again. Show her bf her texts.
Author SadHatter Posted April 17, 2006 Author Posted April 17, 2006 Thanks for your replies guys. I've been trying to lose her for a long time and it never seems to have happened. I did for two months and then she started again...Probably some of it my own fault...well a lot of it...for allowing her to manipulate me. Anyway, haven't heard from her since this happened on Wednesday, so its been 5 days, so maybe she is secure now in the knowledge that she THINKS she can have me so she's bored of her little game now and has moved on...
CaliGuy Posted April 17, 2006 Posted April 17, 2006 SH, read my first reply to you. I think that's exactly what she is up to.
Author SadHatter Posted April 17, 2006 Author Posted April 17, 2006 Sure thing Cali...I read it and I entirely agree with you. Like I say, now she thinks she can have me and got the desired attention (or she perceives she can have me) she won't bother anymore. My friend saw her in a club on Friday and she asked him, "He's not in here is he?" and my friend said, "No he isn't out tonight" and she replied, "Good" and went off on her merry way back to the dance floor with her friends. Like I say, haven't heard from her for five days so maybe this time it has stopped
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