banister61 Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 My boyfriend is freaking out about the “unknown.” He says that he sees things on TV that make him mad—like ads for “girls gone wild” and it angers him. Girls taking off their clothes angers him, yet he looks at porn every now and then-which I wish he wouldn’t …put what are you gonna do? He says he is scared of things he doesn’t know or can’t control and is worried…he doesn’t want me to be connected to any of the filth out there. Pure He’s also being paranoid. Like he dreamt that we were at a movie with a guy who was a friend of mine and supposedly a “man of the cloth” but we were acting flirtatious…so my BF—left his camera on when he went to the bathroom to film us incognito—and sure enough—he catches me on tape making out with this guy I feel creeped out. Like he is repressing something and its perverting itself…somehow...but I can’t figure it out.
Art_Critic Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 Your BF sounds like a nutcase.. certifiable. Not sure what your question is though..
Author banister61 Posted April 14, 2006 Author Posted April 14, 2006 i'm looking for some psychoanalysis. what is at the root of his anger about "girls gone wild" and othere things?
blind_otter Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 Often people who suppress their anger in day to day life will find what they consider an "appropriate" outlet - either subconsciously, or consciously, and channel all their rage towards that one thing. Also, does he drink and/or smoke weed? That will increase paranoia.
Author banister61 Posted April 14, 2006 Author Posted April 14, 2006 that is a very insightful thought. no--he doesn't drink or smoke weed. or do any drugs.
blind_otter Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 that is a very insightful thought. no--he doesn't drink or smoke weed. or do any drugs. I would be concerned, then, at this irrational and bizarre degree of paranoia. ALso his obsession with "purity". It's almost controlling, in a way?
Sand&Water Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 banister61: From what you've said about him, and his dreams, I'd say he's scared/terrified of you cheating on him. What happened in the theatre IS cheating to some degree.
littlepiggy1 Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 You're b/f's not crazy religious is he? Or comes from a very religious upbringing? Because I've noticed that sort of thing can cause all sorts of sexual repression issues in people.
Guest Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 about cheating--yeah--i think it sounds like he's scraed of that...but i have no idea why...i'm very comfy with the relationship and would never cheat--i don't even fantasize about other men. about religion--no! he's not religious at all. he's aetheist--actually.
Author banister61 Posted April 14, 2006 Author Posted April 14, 2006 i'd never cheat. he knows that. and he's not religious. he's aetheist. now i could be paranoid...but part of me feels like he's resentful for being in a realtionship b/c he may want something other men are free to have--like a wild experince, but hasn't b/c he's young and involved.
TheSwordfish Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 He’s also being paranoid. Like he dreamt that we were at a movie with a guy who was a friend of mine and supposedly a “man of the cloth” but we were acting flirtatious…so my BF—left his camera on when he went to the bathroom to film us incognito—and sure enough—he catches me on tape making out with this guy I feel creeped out. Like he is repressing something and its perverting itself…somehow...but I can’t figure it out. Was that his dream, or did he catch you? now i'm confused...
littlepiggy1 Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 Did have a strict religious upbringing though? Even people that deconvert can have trouble shaking off their previous "programming". Other than that, I don't know what to tell you. It sounds like he has a neurotic personality and maybe some sexual repression issues. You said he looks at porn and that bugs you. Do you guys fight about it at all? Maybe his reaction to GGW is a manifestation of some sort of guilt complex he's developed over it. Just throwing ideas out there... let me know what sticks.
Walk Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 My uneducated psychoanalysis. He feels guilty for corrupting you with sex. He wants to do things to you that he considers perverted. And therefore wishes to keep you "pure", and feels guilty for not doing so....? The man of the cloth is someone you aren't supposed to defile. This man actually represented a portion of himself in his dream. By making out with him in the movie theater you defiled him. He subconciously registers this (videotaping it while away), yet can't put a finger on how. (can't catch you in person) **Did you put the moves on the man of the cloth, or was it the other way around in his dream?** He's angry at the girls gone wild because he wishes for that in his life, yet suffers from guilt for wishing it. Feels that he is corrupting you. Doesn't understand his feelings of guilt they turn into frustration and anger which is then directed at the source that is making him fantasize about "perverted". Totally just speculating....
typical Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 Interesting subject.... BF freaking out and becoming angered about GGW...I think he might be projecting what he doesnt want YOU to do..... Look at those commercials...All the girls on those commercials seem to be having the time of their lives, laughing it up, drinking, engaging in sexual activity....the whole theme to the commercial is "hey, be young and free and expose your titties, live for the moment and run wild"......This is how the viewer percieves these commercials subconciously....We tend to look upon those commercials with "horrid fascination".... My guess is that he is picking up on the "be free" vibe and doesnt want you to get any ideas....either subconciously or otherwise. He isnt missing out on anything, but maybe he feels that YOU might feel that you are.....so he puts it down, and gets unjustifiably angry over what he thinks is trying to "lure" you into that lifestyle, or at least trying to make it look enticing enough to where you might think about being a girl that goes wild..... The purity thing.....(i have had a bf like this) The paranoia thing, the priest thing.....you might want to observe him more closely for more clues, but I thought those were symptoms of Schizophrenia or bi-polar or some psycotic episode of sorts..... In his mind, you represent the purity in a world full of dirty madness. The fact that you were making out with a priest in his dream shows just how pure he thinks you are.....it wasnt just a normal guy, it was a PRIEST. I think he video taped it out of "horrid fascination" (the same fascination with GGW) He didnt want to be present for it, but he still wanted to see it. If he were jealous, he wouldnt leave you alone in the first place. OORRR....MAYBE he made up that whole dream to lure you further into his psycotic web of madness....maybe this is all one big master mind f*** designed to coerce and mold you subtly into the life HE imagined for you... THe mind can be a scary thing.
Cecelius Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 The idea that ordinary girls (because these aren't porn stars) can be convinced to do such skanky stuff makes him unsure of the trustworthiness of all women, including you. That plus some level of insecurity/jelousy that these girls are doing this for other guys, but not him. Lastly, how are his reactions controlling? I don't get that, but then I'm not a girl and am not on the lookout for such things
blind_otter Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 Lastly, how are his reactions controlling? I don't get that, but then I'm not a girl and am not on the lookout for such things The quality of moral purity is something to be attended to and maintained by the individual. Also, in the OP's first post: He says he is scared of things he doesn’t know or can’t control and is worried
Outcast Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 It's not just a matter of him having issues. There is a level of behaviour that one engages in when one has 'issues' and a whole other order of behaviour when one is ill. Your bf's behaviour from what you describe is the latter. Don't try to analyze him; take him to a professional. That amount of paranoia is not normal as in a sign that something physical may be wrong with his brain, especially if he's not a drug user. I'm always astonished at the level of bizarre behaviour that people will seem to accept and not consider abnormal. Get the man professional help and do so soon. These things don't get better on their own.
Author banister61 Posted April 14, 2006 Author Posted April 14, 2006 things like this keep creeping up. the paranoia...well...i've dealt with it before...i allay one fear...then a new one pops up. i don't think i can be the one to do that...i think it is he taht has to do that. i don't know how to help. but i find this thread, very interesting.
movinon05 Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 stemming from past experience. Is he a very jealous person?
Noos Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 Hey, Girls Gone Wild makes me angry too but not to this extent. He's got anxiety issues. He needs to talk to a therapist about them or they may spill over into his actions.
magda Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 Maybe it's because he doesn't trust himself to stay in control. (Because he's a little crazy, maybe?) When he sees this "man of the cloth" and you who are supposed to be faithful - two people that he trusts - acting "sinfully" ... it hits too close to home. so yes, I agree that he may be supressing something.
MadDog Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 Funny thing. Those commercials make me happy, not angry. Either he or I must have our polarities reversed. The question is who. Has he tried to explain to you why these commercials turn him into the hulk?
Author banister61 Posted April 17, 2006 Author Posted April 17, 2006 well-- i don't know what the hell is going on because last night I had a dream. I dreamt that I laid down in a bed of worms with my boyfriend. actually--i was going to lay down and he was there and decided that even though it was gross--he would lay down with me. it grossed me out supremeley. they were crusty and got in my hair. we pulled them out together...but then someone from the board of directors at my job came in and saw the worms, though she didn't know they were worms and thought they were tastey treats. so she ate them and loved them. I wanted to tell her, but i didn't want to offend her. [sigh] yuk. my BF spent the night at my folks house this weekend. they can't even get his name straight and we've been together for 7 months. this morning my dad started questioning me about him. and i feel so upset...my BF is 24. and I am 32. it seems that people are getting upset...they are wondering...what I am doing "with a child." i feel creeped out and i'm wondering if i'm taking advantage of him. when we are together--it's all fine and wonderful. but people are having trouble with it and its making me wonder if something is wrong with me now.
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