tanbark813 Posted April 13, 2006 Posted April 13, 2006 So after I broke things off last Tuesday it was the usual protocol. I didn't hear from the ex until Thursday. I wasn't really all that surprised actually. Thursday night she texted me saying that she knows I don't keep in contact with exes but she hopes we can still be friends. I'm an advocate of NC but at the same time, the break-up was rather amicable and she didn't screw me over so I texted back "Yeah, we can." I don't intend to actually hang out or be friends in the real sense of the word but I don't hate her and have no problem being on friendly terms. After I said yes she texted back one more time, "Cool, hope you can check out my apartment sometime." That annoyed me. I almost wrote back "You had your chance to show me" but decided to just ignore it and didn't respond. No additional contact with her until today. Just now I get another text message from her saying there is some stuff left over from the Easter basket she made me and she's going to leave it by my door. I don't get it. Why? I guess it's nice but I have a feeling it's going to be designed to provoke some nostalgia. Anyway, no questions really. I guess this could have gone in the rants forum.
Author tanbark813 Posted April 13, 2006 Author Posted April 13, 2006 So I texted back "thanks" and she responded with "never mind it feels like i am bothering you.. have a happy easter". Women are nuts.
Art_Critic Posted April 13, 2006 Posted April 13, 2006 She was boiling the water for the eggs TB .. keep an eye on the easter bunny... This is the part about breaking up that I can never figure out either.. If we are broken up why are you texting me ??
luvtoto Posted April 13, 2006 Posted April 13, 2006 Did you break up with her, Tan? If that's the case, then I'm pretty sure she is struggling with the rejection.
Author tanbark813 Posted April 13, 2006 Author Posted April 13, 2006 Yeah, I did. I also know that the guys she's broken up with usually call her crying asking her back and I'm definitely not like that.
jerbear Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 Hey tanbark813, Good to hear it is amicable and you didn't run back crying and pleading. You just made me realize that with my "ex"; I was the one that gave up and broke it off, friendsip and everything of 5+ years. Women are weird but can't live with them, can't live without them.
luvtoto Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 Yeah, I did. I also know that the guys she's broken up with usually call her crying asking her back and I'm definitely not like that. She's probably just looking for any last crumb you have to offer her. This rejection thing is probably new to her. Maybe she is denial that you two are *really* over. Yea, and not a good idea being friends so soon after your breakup. But, I'm sure you already know that.
CaliGuy Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 So I texted back "thanks" and she responded with "never mind it feels like i am bothering you.. have a happy easter". Women are nuts. Dont'cha wish they came with a user manual?
Art_Critic Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 Dont'cha wish they came with a user manual? They do.. but it is the kind written in multiple languages that you can't read.. even if you turn it upside down it still can't be read
basscatcher Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 It's hard for most women to let go of what they know. Habits have been established in a short period of time or long period. Your use to the sound of the persons voice. Hearing the person laugh. Maybe the logic that one spews from the mouth is hard to let go of. It's hard to let go what you know.. etc etc. It's not easy to let the familiar go. It's also proven psychologically that women don't like change. We don't adapt well to abrupt changes.
Author tanbark813 Posted April 14, 2006 Author Posted April 14, 2006 Dont'cha wish they came with a user manual? I certainly do.
luvtoto Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 It's hard for most women to let go of what they know. Habits have been established in a short period of time or long period. Your use to the sound of the persons voice. Hearing the person laugh. Maybe the logic that one spews from the mouth is hard to let go of. It's hard to let go what you know.. etc etc. It's not easy to let the familiar go. It's also proven psychologically that women don't like change. We don't adapt well to abrupt changes. I agree, Pada. It's like he has become a habit for her. If she keeps calling, he may need to explain, "Uh, hey, we are not dating anymore. Maybe you should move on."
Author tanbark813 Posted April 14, 2006 Author Posted April 14, 2006 I agree, Pada. It's like he has become a habit for her. If she keeps calling, he may need to explain, "Uh, hey, we are not dating anymore. Maybe you should move on." Yeah, she also likes to remain friends with exes. She was a former candy raver so she is all about that peace, love, harmony bulls***. Staying friends with her ex before me was an issue of contention between us so this also kind of gives me an insight as to how she may have been with him.
a4a Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 It's also proven psychologically that women don't like change. We don't adapt well to abrupt changes. Wondering how that would mesh with the fact that most women initiate the divorce and it is mostly women that want children. Both are huge changes initiated by mostly women.
a4a Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 Yeah, she also likes to remain friends with exes. She was a former candy raver so she is all about that peace, love, harmony bulls***. Staying friends with her ex before me was an issue of contention between us so this also kind of gives me an insight as to how she may have been with him. She wants to continue to be your emotional vampire. But then again you have such a huge ego that you can take it right?
basscatcher Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 She can't let go of the good. NO matter how bad the bad was she is addicted to the good. I am like that. It is hard to let go of the part of the person that fillfulled those certain needs. It's kind of like settling without being fully fullfilled. We don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater; so we hold onto that little bit for a tiny peice of pleasure/contentment. I always say if I can take those parts of the men I have dated that I have a hard time letting go of and put them all into one man I would have the perfect man.
blind_otter Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 Yeah, she also likes to remain friends with exes. She was a former candy raver so she is all about that peace, love, harmony bulls***. Staying friends with her ex before me was an issue of contention between us so this also kind of gives me an insight as to how she may have been with him. What? I thought all the X would be peed out by now. I think she may not really believe you're over either. I have the same thing, men I break up with ALWAYS want to get back together. I would probably be thrown for a loop myself.
alphamale Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 Thursday night she texted me saying that she knows I don't keep in contact with exes but she hopes we can still be friends. I'm an advocate of NC but at the same time, the break-up was rather amicable and she didn't screw me over so I texted back "Yeah, we can." a better response would have been "I'll think about it..." Just now I get another text message from her saying there is some stuff left over from the Easter basket she made me and she's going to leave it by my door. I don't get it. Why? ahh...you have learned a good lesson grasshopper. you see, women tend to treat you better when they've been treated bad. her ego is bruised cause you broke it off and she's probably not too happy with it. she's probably playing these games to get you back and then dump you herself... women always think of their own feelings and emotions first. or she could be doing it out of guilt to make herself feel better knowing that she did not treat you that good in the past. either way, don't bite!
basscatcher Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 men I break up with ALWAYS want to get back together. I have this problem also with MOST not all the men I BREAK UP with. I just look at it as: You never know what you got until its gone.. By then its too late. .You have to live with it just as I have had too. BuhBye She doesn't want to grieve the loss. She is clinging...
a4a Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 She can't let go of the good. NO matter how bad the bad was she is addicted to the good. . I don't think a girl like that is addicted to the good, she was addicted to using him to make herself feel better. He is s***, she is a saint. She was so unsupportive how could she really feel good about him?
Author tanbark813 Posted April 14, 2006 Author Posted April 14, 2006 She wants to continue to be your emotional vampire. But then again you have such a huge ego that you can take it right? My ego knows no bounds. It thirsts for blood and tacos. She can't let go of the good. NO matter how bad the bad was she is addicted to the good. She also said I gave her the best head. I think she may not really believe you're over either. Yeah. And the first two times we broke up (initiated by her) we were back together almost instantly. It was done more of as a power play. I think she might think that's what I'm doing now. either way, don't bite! I don't intend to.
a4a Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 TB next time around get a woman that is your biggest fan, not one that poops all over your parade. Hell a friend should not even do that, let alone a gf.
luvtoto Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 this also kind of gives me an insight as to how she may have been with him. I here ya, been there before! Kinda interesting, isn't it? Kinda makes it tempting to stay her friend. Try not to get sucked in, though. But, I am sure you already know that!
mental_traveller Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 I have a feeling you're about to be reminded of why no contact is a good idea.
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