blue16 Posted April 13, 2006 Posted April 13, 2006 When you ask out a girl for a specific day on the weekend, and she says is busy (she has a very good excuse which checks out) and she adds on "...but another time perhaps?" is that good? Ideally, she would pick a time like "how bout next weekend" or something, but I guess it's not too bad. Am i still in the game or is it a vague, yet polite saying to brush a guy off? Also keep in mind this is online so I haven't met her in real life, only msging through the site for a couple weeks.
MadDog Posted April 13, 2006 Posted April 13, 2006 You should have used the classic Fugees line, "Mona Lisa, can I get a date on Friday? And if you're busy, I wouldn't mind Saturday." Just try again in a week or two. If you've only been chatting online a few weeks, she might be hesitant. If she says no again, then you'll have your answer. Maybe she's not interested in dating people she meets online.
luvtoto Posted April 13, 2006 Posted April 13, 2006 When you ask out a girl for a specific day on the weekend, and she says is busy (she has a very good excuse which checks out) and she adds on "...but another time perhaps?" is that good? Ideally, she would pick a time like "how bout next weekend" or something, but I guess it's not too bad. Am i still in the game or is it a vague, yet polite saying to brush a guy off? Also keep in mind this is online so I haven't met her in real life, only msging through the site for a couple weeks. I've been asked out before by guys that I had no interest in dating...I would *never* say "but another time perhaps"..ever! The only instance that I would say that would be if I was interested in the guy and wanted to try again at another time. Yep, you are still in the game.
MadDog Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 I've been asked out before by guys that I had no interest in dating...I would *never* say "but another time perhaps"..ever! The only instance that I would say that would be if I was interested in the guy and wanted to try again at another time. Yep, you are still in the game. What do you tell the ones you're not interested in then?
luvtoto Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 What do you tell the ones you're not interested in then? Well, one time when I was working at the bar, a guy gave me his number, I wasn't interested at all. He was drunk, rude and he pissed me off a couple times. Later that night, I, once again, encountered an a**h*** wanting to get in my pants. Go figure, it *was* a bar. I just got tired of being asked out by creeps! So, I gave that guy (who was drunk) that other guys phone # and told him to call me. I got a big fat tip and he got, well...
RedneckRomeo Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 I somewhat agree, but also somewhat disagree. I liked this girl - still do - and have tried several times to get her to go out with me. Just about every time I'd get a 'Sorry - I'm busy then - maybe another time?' and few and far between, I'd get to do something with her. I also got the answer of 'yeah - that sounds like fun, but I'm busy now...I'll let you know when I have available" - which seemed better, but not long after that, she started dating this other guy - and I never got the date. I suggest you try and find out WHEN she has open so that you can do these things, but it may be possible she likes you - but only as a friend, and would like to do something with you - but only when she feels like having a good time with friends.
Yamaha Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 I would suggest making a specific time for another date. If she gives you another vague answer or stalls then I would move on.
Author blue16 Posted April 14, 2006 Author Posted April 14, 2006 I would suggest making a specific time for another date. If she gives you another vague answer or stalls then I would move on. Well I did offer an exact day, and she had a very good reason for being busy (religious holday taking place). But next time I guess i'll be a little more specific and say at least "afternoon" "night" or "morning." So I'm guessing if she is busy again, whether actually truly busy or just making it up, it's on her to make the next move?
HokeyReligions Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 It could be she is just really shy about being the aggressor, or she was raised that the guy always does the asking - even if turned down the first or second time. Or she might be really uncomfortable about saying no - but she had the perfect opportunity to end it without saying "....another time." Pick two different days/dates and if she says no to the first one, then say "how about...." and if she says no to that one, move on.
TheSwordfish Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 Well, one time when I was working at the bar, a guy gave me his number, I wasn't interested at all. He was drunk, rude and he pissed me off a couple times. Later that night, I, once again, encountered an a**h*** wanting to get in my pants. Go figure, it *was* a bar. I just got tired of being asked out by creeps! So, I gave that guy (who was drunk) that other guys phone # and told him to call me. I got a big fat tip and he got, well... Hilarious! Briliant! WOW! But it make s em wonder. Girls giving me phone numbers after a short chat, do they see me as someone wanting to get in their pants? (Is it for girls a matter of deciding if someone is allowed in the pants, and will guys only get a number and a date if they are pants worthy or something? Now I'm confused) (Poetic sentences about pants, eh?).
luvtoto Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 Hilarious! Briliant! WOW! But it make s em wonder. Girls giving me phone numbers after a short chat, do they see me as someone wanting to get in their pants? (Is it for girls a matter of deciding if someone is allowed in the pants, and will guys only get a number and a date if they are pants worthy or something? Now I'm confused) (Poetic sentences about pants, eh?). When I was working in the bar, you deal with *complete* a**h***s at times. I would NEVER do something like that to a nice, genuine guy. In the bar, I was out for the all-mighty tip. When a guy says,"hey, you have nice breasts, we need to go out sometime", well, I retaliated by saying sure, here's my (his) phone number. Call me. Got me the big tip, like I said. Never had to worry about that jerk again. Kinda like Tit for Tat. However, if a nice guy asked me out, for the first time, and I seriously did have other plans, and I wanted to go out with him, I would tell him,"another time would be great!". I would even say that next weekend would work great. Some women are afraid of hurting feelings. They say "maybe another time" as a way to let guy down easy, even if they don't mean it. If she keeps saying that after every invitation, then she is not interested. I had this conversation with a guy friend of mine once. He told me that if you are not interested...you should say you are not interested. Men prefer that approach, even if it seems mean-ish.
Author blue16 Posted April 14, 2006 Author Posted April 14, 2006 However, if a nice guy asked me out, for the first time, and I seriously did have other plans, and I wanted to go out with him, I would tell him,"another time would be great!". I would even say that next weekend would work great. Some women are afraid of hurting feelings. They say "maybe another time" as a way to let guy down easy, even if they don't mean it. If she keeps saying that after every invitation, then she is not interested. I had this conversation with a guy friend of mine once. He told me that if you are not interested...you should say you are not interested. Men prefer that approach, even if it seems mean-ish. well i know she did have other plans, just a matter of whether she wanted to go out And ya, I was hoping she would say "next weekend maybe...?" or atleast some vague time period to show that she is interested, but she didn't say that. I msged her back saying that "that was cool, I was also busy that day too as something came up lol (which was true) Maybe some other time..." and she replied "lol sure". Kinda vague lol, but I guess she's left me no choice but to go for a second try. Your stories were very humerous tho luvtoto, haha. I can imagine their excitement about getting ur number, then getting some guy answering the phone and thinking "Wtf...?" lol
luvtoto Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 well i know she did have other plans, just a matter of whether she wanted to go out And ya, I was hoping she would say "next weekend maybe...?" or atleast some vague time period to show that she is interested, but she didn't say that. I msged her back saying that "that was cool, I was also busy that day too as something came up lol (which was true) Maybe some other time..." and she replied "lol sure". Kinda vague lol, but I guess she's left me no choice but to go for a second try. Your stories were very humerous tho luvtoto, haha. I can imagine their excitement about getting ur number, then getting some guy answering the phone and thinking "Wtf...?" lol Thanks! Well, he never showed up back at the bar, so maybe those two hooked up! Back to your issue at hand... Sorry, Blue, she's being a little too vague with you. Beings you two have never met in person anyways, I'm thinking it ain't gonna happen. Online dating sucks by the way.
Author blue16 Posted April 15, 2006 Author Posted April 15, 2006 Thanks! Well, he never showed up back at the bar, so maybe those two hooked up! Back to your issue at hand... Sorry, Blue, she's being a little too vague with you. Beings you two have never met in person anyways, I'm thinking it ain't gonna happen. Online dating sucks by the way. damn I would've liked to atleast go out with her once to get to know her better. The thing is also that this isn't even exclusively a dating site, it's like myspace.com where a lot of it is networking and chatting with friends. So I could understand someone not even wanting to date online strangers from the site. But I do have reason to believe she went on a date with another guy on the site a couple weeks ago, based on a comment she made on his profile. Dunno if they knew each other in real life or from the site, but anyways that's beside the point. And ya I agree with you she is being quite vague, not a good sign. So is it worth a second shot or should I just not bother?
luvtoto Posted April 15, 2006 Posted April 15, 2006 damn I would've liked to atleast go out with her once to get to know her better. The thing is also that this isn't even exclusively a dating site, it's like myspace.com where a lot of it is networking and chatting with friends. So I could understand someone not even wanting to date online strangers from the site. But I do have reason to believe she went on a date with another guy on the site a couple weeks ago, based on a comment she made on his profile. Dunno if they knew each other in real life or from the site, but anyways that's beside the point. And ya I agree with you she is being quite vague, not a good sign. So is it worth a second shot or should I just not bother? I wouldn't bother anymore, blue. I'm a women myself, obviously, and I know the signs. Don't feel bad, you put yourself out there. Let her go. Ya gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em...
Author blue16 Posted April 15, 2006 Author Posted April 15, 2006 I wouldn't bother anymore, blue. I'm a women myself, obviously, and I know the signs. Don't feel bad, you put yourself out there. Let her go. Ya gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em... Ok well I'll take your word for it lol. I guess i won't try for it again, unless she brings up the subject.
luvtoto Posted April 15, 2006 Posted April 15, 2006 Ok well I'll take your word for it lol. I guess i won't try for it again, unless she brings up the subject. Well, my word has never been the gospel. If you are seriously feeling it from her, blue, go for it! I'm just giving you my opinion on the matter.
Yamaha Posted April 15, 2006 Posted April 15, 2006 I think it is worth another shot, if just to satisfy yourself, Blue. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. But, as I said, if she backs out again or will not set up a time for you to meet then it is time to fold em.
RecordProducer Posted April 15, 2006 Posted April 15, 2006 When you ask out a girl for a specific day on the weekend, and she says is busy (she has a very good excuse which checks out) and she adds on "...but another time perhaps?" is that good? Ideally, she would pick a time like "how bout next weekend" or something, but I guess it's not too bad. Am i still in the game or is it a vague, yet polite saying to brush a guy off? Also keep in mind this is online so I haven't met her in real life, only msging through the site for a couple weeks.It could mean anything. Just don't forget that the man is the one who should chase after the woman. Don't tell her nonchalantly "Call me when you have time" as if you're too busy to remember to ask her again or she ain't worth chasing. You may though tell her "I would really love to meet you in person, but I don't know if you're interested too so please, if you have a desire to meet me, let me know and we'll arrange it."
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