Guest Posted April 13, 2006 Posted April 13, 2006 What do you all think? Hubby has told other woman NO CONTACT. She won't abide and constantly tries to talk to him at work. He walks away. I know this because I have friends that work with him and confirm it. I have considered going to her and telling her no contact and if she doesn't abide by it I will take the evidence (emails from people who saw them in bar making out, leaving bar together, intimate conversations at work, etc.) to her husband and parents inform them of the affair. I agree with the fact that it is his problem and he agrees with that as well, but we are at a loss of what to do. He has ignored her, been rude to her and point blank told her to leave him alone. She knows I know and when she sees me she smiles and give me a cute little wave. I wave back but I only use one finger. Or should I just take it to her hubby and parents and let the chips fall where they may?
target-d Posted April 13, 2006 Posted April 13, 2006 Has your H considered a restraining order? It sounds like friends and co-workers know of the ex-relationship. Are you sure that her husband doesn't already know? Can your husband change jobs?
HokeyReligions Posted April 13, 2006 Posted April 13, 2006 Is she stalking him? I think if I were in your place I would find a legal aid or someone who can give me the legal definition of stalking - supported by laws - and perhaps have someone else approach her with a legal threat first. If she and your hubby work at the same place, going there might have a negative effect on your hubby's job. If he is in a good position at work, perhaps he can approach HR about what to do about it since she is conducting her pursuit in the workplace. I would be very careful about that though because like I said, it could come back and bite him (and you) in the ass. I sure would be tempted to forward those emails to her family though!
Guest Posted April 13, 2006 Posted April 13, 2006 And you have not told her husband because..................I bet if you had, she would not be acting this way. She would have her own problems to concentrate on, not him.
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 Hi! I have been in love with someone outside of my marriage. I know that this kind of feeling can be extremely addictive. Have your hubby tell her that he will contact HER HUSBAND and tell him everything if she doesn't leave him alone. If that doesn't do the trick, then go ahead and give the other husband a buzz!
zarathustra Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 How about your husband moving to another company. She is the victim too. These relationships are highly addictive and she's probably in denial. Sorry if it sounds a bit drastic, but you or your husband may not be able to control what someone else does, but your husband can certainly make a decision about what he does.
blind_otter Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 How about your husband moving to another company. She is the victim too. These relationships are highly addictive and she's probably in denial. Sorry if it sounds a bit drastic, but you or your husband may not be able to control what someone else does, but your husband can certainly make a decision about what he does. Just because I'm an alcoholic doesn't mean I can demand that all the bars in my town close down, or move to another town!! I have to practice restraint. And if I go to a friend's house and they are having beers, I can't really demand that they stop just because I am a recovering alcoholic. I don't see why being addicted to someone else would be different.
zarathustra Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 Sorry Blind Otter. I really didn't mean to offend you. I sincerly mean that. What I mean is that if she is contacting him, she is the one who is trying to feed her addiction to him. Not the other way around. Unfortunately, the MM can be rude, ignore her and such but if the W really want there to be no contact, then he can remove himself from the place where she can contact him. I know it sounds extreme but its an idea.
mopar crazy Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 What do you all think? Hubby has told other woman NO CONTACT. She won't abide and constantly tries to talk to him at work. He walks away. I know this because I have friends that work with him and confirm it. I have considered going to her and telling her no contact and if she doesn't abide by it I will take the evidence (emails from people who saw them in bar making out, leaving bar together, intimate conversations at work, etc.) to her husband and parents inform them of the affair. I agree with the fact that it is his problem and he agrees with that as well, but we are at a loss of what to do. He has ignored her, been rude to her and point blank told her to leave him alone. She knows I know and when she sees me she smiles and give me a cute little wave. I wave back but I only use one finger. Or should I just take it to her hubby and parents and let the chips fall where they may? My H's exOW wouldn't leave him alone either and they also worked together. He was also rude to her but she continued to call him or IM him at work from her office to his. H was her supervisor. They had short term A. He told her he wanted to work on our M. He no longer wanted her to call him. And if she needed to speak to him it was to be professional only. However she would either call or stop by his house (we were seperated). Then it started getting nasty because he kept telling her to leave him alone and she didn't want to. I finally had to put a stop to it. I told her to stop calling. H said he was going to have a restrainer order against her if she didn't. I didn't want to go that far. I figured if he couldn't be man enough to be more firm about leaving him alone I would have to do it so I did. She hasn't called since. But the b!tch got him fired from the job he really loved. Long story, he hired an attorney for wrongful termination, lost it because of some contract issue. Have you thought about telling her yourself to leave him alone, or tell H that he needs to get more serious, like a restrainer order? GL with this. I know it's a PITA to deal with. Hope she leaves him alone soon.
Bryanp Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 Absolutely inform the OW's husband as soon as possible. If the roles were reversed wouldn't you want to know? The fact that neither you or your husband informed the OW's husband sent a clear message to her that it was acceptable for her to try to continue the affair and that there are no consequences to her actions. How can you not see this?
whichwayisup Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 You tell her husband that she won't leave YOUR husband alone after you both have asked her to stop contacting you over and over again! Trust me, once she has to deal with the consquences of her actions to her husband, I highly doubt she'd have the balls to contact your H again. And if she ever did, you keep on letting her hubby know what is happening.
NoIDidn't Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 Or should I just take it to her hubby and parents and let the chips fall where they may? And the chips will fall. Believe you me.
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