RedRose3373 Posted April 13, 2006 Posted April 13, 2006 Hello All OK as you all know i was with my MM for over 3 years. I got fed up & walked away. I month later i met this wonderful man on match.com that i have been with for almost 2 months now. & things are going great & i am so happy Ok so Tuesday at work my friend calls me & tells me that she just saw my MM holding hands with a woman walking into a restaurant. So i thought it was his wife, never thought that he would go from one woman right to the next. So after lunch i went up to his office, to bust his chops, cause we are on friendly terms now. We were both laughing about it. Turns out that he has a new girlfriend! I can't believe it! I can't believe how these married men go from one woman to the next. I honestly thought that after our 3 year relationship that he would calm down & not do that anymore, since he told me how special & how deep our relationship was when i was with him, i didn't think that he'd ever move on to another woman. The sad thing is that this new girlfriend doesn't even know that he's married!!! THat poor girl! It kinda did bother me a bit though. & i don't know why. I would NEVER go back to him or EVER give up my new man for him. I love him but not in love with him anymore. My cousin said, who dated a married man too, that its only normal for it to bother u, cause how he could just replace u so fast when he has a wife at home., THANK GOD I got out of that relationship. He is a major pig & cheater. Ladies u need to get out cause like everyone told me & i didn't want to listen, if its not u, it will be someone else!! I feel SOOOOOOOO bad for his wife its not even funny. Just to think that this lying, cheating man could have been my husband, freaks me out!! THANK GOD He never left his wife, cause u can't change a leopard's spots. & once a cheater, always a cheater!!
Jessie61 Posted April 13, 2006 Posted April 13, 2006 Good for you!!! I am delighted that you have moved on and gotten over your MM and, better still, found yourself a TRUE romance!!! Enjoy!
Author RedRose3373 Posted April 13, 2006 Author Posted April 13, 2006 Thanks Jess But i am still wondering....... why did it bother me at all that he has a new girlfriend? I mean i don't want him back, would never go back to him, but it still bothered me a bit that he moved on. I was the one who was supposed to move on & he was the one who was supposed to be miserable without me hahaha
CeeJayXX Posted April 13, 2006 Posted April 13, 2006 Thanks Jess But i am still wondering....... why did it bother me at all that he has a new girlfriend? I mean i don't want him back, would never go back to him, but it still bothered me a bit that he moved on. I was the one who was supposed to move on & he was the one who was supposed to be miserable without me hahaha Because you are human with feelings. I would feel the same way even if MM just stayed with W. Once you have that intimate emotional connection, it is very hard to break (even though you don't want to be a part of the relationship anymore.)
Jessie61 Posted April 13, 2006 Posted April 13, 2006 Thanks Jess But i am still wondering....... why did it bother me at all that he has a new girlfriend? I mean i don't want him back, would never go back to him, but it still bothered me a bit that he moved on. I was the one who was supposed to move on & he was the one who was supposed to be miserable without me hahaha Of course it would bother you! You were with him for a long time, you cared about him and now he has started seeing someone else. Of course, it would bother you. You are human. But don't start worrying about it or dwelling on it. Concentrate on enjoying your new romance instead! MUCH more important! And I bet you, your new romance bothers HIM, your exMM....
catgirl1927 Posted April 13, 2006 Posted April 13, 2006 Why would you be surprised that he has a new girlfriend?
whichwayisup Posted April 13, 2006 Posted April 13, 2006 why did it bother me at all that he has a new girlfriend? I mean i don't want him back, would never go back to him, but it still bothered me a bit that he moved on. Because it lessened your experience with him maybe? All those sweet promises, the words to keep you around...He had no intention EVER of leaving. And I bet things at home are good enough that has kept him happy so he can live his life peacefully and comfortably at home, then go out and have his fun on the side to feed his ego.
Sami_D Posted April 13, 2006 Posted April 13, 2006 I agree with WWIU. For one thing a lot of people involved in affairs like to think (and say) that they wouldn't be in them if it wasn't for the individuals involved (see the soul-mate 'meant to be' thread). Secondly, as you say... he told you all that lovely-dovey stuff about you were the ideal one for him, blah blah blah... then you find he's going out immediately telling someone else the same stuff! Not special on two counts. And you're so right... you're well rid of him
Author RedRose3373 Posted April 13, 2006 Author Posted April 13, 2006 Yes u guys are all right. Its only normal for it to bother me & i'm sure me having a new man bothers him too. I guess i just thought by all his promises & his sweet words that i was 'something special' not just another one of his women. I thought he'd be different after all the things he said to me. but once again, it was only words I feel sorry for this new woman though, she doesn't know that he is married & most of all , i know feel sorry for his wife that is sitting home while he is running all around. Wow that could have been me!!
Sami_D Posted April 13, 2006 Posted April 13, 2006 I guess i just thought by all his promises & his sweet words that i was 'something special' not just another one of his women. I thought he'd be different after all the things he said to me. but once again, it was only words I feel sorry for this new woman though, she doesn't know that he is married & most of all , i know feel sorry for his wife that is sitting home while he is running all around. Wow that could have been me!! Yes some men (and, hey women ) can be complete and utter Users. They're all around us. They don't even have to be married to do it. Eventually, with experience... you get to spot the toads.
RecordProducer Posted April 13, 2006 Posted April 13, 2006 I feel SOOOOOOOO bad for his wife its not even funny. She's probably getting it elsewhere too.
Author RedRose3373 Posted April 13, 2006 Author Posted April 13, 2006 Yeah thats true i bet she has her own private life i would hate to live a marriage like that
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 Because it lessened your experience with him maybe? All those sweet promises, the words to keep you around...He had no intention EVER of leaving. And I bet things at home are good enough that has kept him happy so he can live his life peacefully and comfortably at home, then go out and have his fun on the side to feed his ego. WWIU, this answer is a bit harsh... but I have to agree with you 110% Actually, I love it!!! I also second with what Sami D said. I cannot believe people can identify their MM as soulmates. I mean come on, you have only seen the better side of him! If you've met my H, you'd think he's PERFECT. But I know otherwise.
zarathustra Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 Everyone loves my H... feels sorry he's married to a crazy woman like me... almost like he can do no wrong. So when I left him, people were shell-shocked. My xMM left his w for me, risked losing his kids and then went straight back to her. WWIU, you are absolutely right, it really made me feel like he didnt value me at all, not as a person or what he claimed I was... the love of his life.
NoIDidn't Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 I hope this isn't taken the wrong way. But I don't think your feeling bad has anything to do with what you shared as opposed to what you really think of him now. I mean, the title of the thread is "MM are dogs". When I realised that my cheating BF was a dog, I felt bad too - but because of what it meant about me. I asked myself, am I that gullible. I believed his lies - hook, line, and sinker. And then there is dad. When I was in college and he was on W #3, he brought a different "friend" to see me each visit. I told all of them that he was M, and most didn't even know it. He was livid and told me to mind my business. I can tell you my dad said he did it because he "loved women" and he stays M because he fears being alone. Idiots.
Shoestring Posted April 15, 2006 Posted April 15, 2006 Hi - I am a newbie, but I have just come through the same situation. I was involved with MM for six months but we got caught not by his wife, but by my supervisor (Jaws) who saw a private and sexy email from him to me. Jaws also has a thing for him. She went down and saw him (in tears) and told him she "felt sorry for his wife" and wanted to know his relationship with me. He is 54, married 30 years, 2 kids. Jaws is 50 never married (long term relationship of 12 years) and no kids. He initially told her it was none of her business, but she manipulated him and made him feel guilty (and he let her). We think we have gotten out reasonably OK with a bit of quick thinking, but he has dropped me like a hot potato saying nothing was ever going to come of it (and he was honest up front), but get this - they are an item and so into each other this last week it is sickening - lots of phone calls, going to each other's offices, lots of giggling and out to lunch. How pathetic is she if she has to go and bullying this man into life, and how pathetic is he to go running everytime she clicks her fingers. He did tell me that there was something between them but more like a brother/sister connection (but after watching the events of this week evolve there has to be more). Gee if she only knew what had gone on in the last six months!! By the way, I have asked to be transferred away from her because she is a nasty piece of work, and he can have her. Of course I feel quite foolish, but relieved I am out of it. Funny thing, a few people I have spoken to have suspected something between the two of them, and if I plant the right seeds, then all attention will be given to their little affair, and I can come out smelling like roses. Life can be ironic at times.
Curmudgeon Posted April 15, 2006 Posted April 15, 2006 You say that like it's a new revelation. My reaction is, "So what else is new?" People who cheat on their spouses lack character, integrity and courage. If they had the latter they'd leave the marriage before taking up with someone new. None of them are worth the time and effort!
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