the_alchemyst Posted April 13, 2006 Posted April 13, 2006 I have read in several posts/threads here that a lot of gals are bothered by their SO's love for videogames. Why? I don't see why this is so bothersome. In fact, I myself love to play videogames; it was one of my favorite pass-times with my exbf. I know it's all a matter about personal preference, but I often hear videogames being associated with words like "waste of time, " "childish," "immature," etc., and I must really disagree. Sure, it is not the most productive thing to do, but it can actually be a very helpful pass-time, depending on what game you are playing. I just don't see how this is any more of a waste of time than shopping for hours, and hours, and hours, only to buy a silly hat. But then again, I'd pick videogames over shopping almost any day. Does that make me weird?
jerbear Posted April 13, 2006 Posted April 13, 2006 Not weird but more unique. Not many women out there play games. It is a growing field and game makers are starting to cater to women. Sims was one of the starters and I think there are more. There is even a grandmother that has all the consoles and loves them games and even has her own cult following. IMO. I think moderation is key. I make it clear that she can play with my joystick anytime. If my SO wanted me to stop playing computer games and play with her; I will. Now taking out the trash is another thing.
sazzya1987 Posted April 13, 2006 Posted April 13, 2006 I also love to play games, especially the Xbox and some PC games such as Zoo Tycoon and Roller Coaster Tycoon
serial muse Posted April 13, 2006 Posted April 13, 2006 I'm with you, alchemyst. I'm a fan of video games, and have been since the days of my old Atari (which I still have!!). My exH got the Xbox in the divorce, and I miss it more than I miss him.
magda Posted April 13, 2006 Posted April 13, 2006 There are a lot of men who play way too much. If they consider themself a "gamer" and hang out on those gamer sites and use their gamer nicknames on their emails and with friends and are obsessed with that whole gamer culture, I am not really interesed. My husband was friends with some guys that just could never be good boyfriends they are so obsessed. Luckily my husband just likes to play once and awhile. With those guys, their computers are their lives. They socialize on the internet and at LAN parties. They have gigs and gigs of porn to compensate for having no idea how to talk to women. These are the ones I do not think are dating material!
sazzya1987 Posted April 13, 2006 Posted April 13, 2006 I'm with you, alchemyst. I'm a fan of video games, and have been since the days of my old Atari (which I still have!!). My exH got the Xbox in the divorce, and I miss it more than I miss him. I used to have the Atari. I have a few Atari games on here by using a simulator to have them run on my laptop
jerbear Posted April 13, 2006 Posted April 13, 2006 I used to have the Atari. I have a few Atari games on here by using a simulator to have them run on my laptop MAME32 and Atari 2600! Yars Revenge, Missle Command... Brings back memories... Don't even have a console anymore, spent way to much of my allowance on video games when I younger. Magda: I do agree with you on obsessive gamers, EverQuest(Evercrack) and Warcraft are some games that comes to my mind.
blind_otter Posted April 13, 2006 Posted April 13, 2006 I don't really know about videogames. I think that they can have a detrimental effect on the individual who uses them excessively, like anything else. Watch too much TV, watch too much porn -- if this is all you do with your spare time, that is the issue -- the inability to create and maintain a rich, fulfilling, and above all HEALTHY lifestyle. I have a few friends who play videogames a lot and they are really unhealthy. Their bodies are all soft and unformed and they tend to tune things out that they can't handle or don't like to hear. IMO they use it as a coping mechanism to distance themselves from reality. Playing videogames occassionally is OK, but every day, for a few hours a day? That is just as bad as being obsessive or addicted to anything else.
KittenMoon Posted April 13, 2006 Posted April 13, 2006 I love video games, but it's ok cause I have a short attention span. My ex used to be a pretty heavy gamer- I didn't mind it, in fact I often enjoyed watching him play (or performing certain oral distractions on him while he did ). He hadn't played much for a while- I missed falling asleep at night watching him game- no matter how loud the shooting and screaming was, I'd relax and pass out. Oh, and I'm all about old-school Nintendo- I am on a quest for old games and I repair systems on occasion as a hobby.
alphamale Posted April 13, 2006 Posted April 13, 2006 all i have to say to these people playing video games 5+ hours per day is....Get a life!
serial muse Posted April 13, 2006 Posted April 13, 2006 I don't really know about videogames. I think that they can have a detrimental effect on the individual who uses them excessively, like anything else. Watch too much TV, watch too much porn -- if this is all you do with your spare time, that is the issue -- the inability to create and maintain a rich, fulfilling, and above all HEALTHY lifestyle. I have a few friends who play videogames a lot and they are really unhealthy. Their bodies are all soft and unformed and they tend to tune things out that they can't handle or don't like to hear. IMO they use it as a coping mechanism to distance themselves from reality. Playing videogames occassionally is OK, but every day, for a few hours a day? That is just as bad as being obsessive or addicted to anything else. all i have to say to these people playing video games 5+ hours per day is....Get a life! Well, yeah, absolutely - moderation is generally a good rule of thumb. One of my housemates is this type of gamer - he's got zero social skills and rarely leaves his room, and is addicted to those types of war games where you go in with a "team" and perform whatever operations against Nazis or Allies (depending on how ornery you're feeling). He's on the scarily obsessive/unhealthy end of the scale - sometimes I hear him late on Saturday nights (2 am-ish) in his room down the hall, shouting into his mic or headset or whatever: "over there! he's over there behind the wall! ahhh! what are you doing?"
blind_otter Posted April 13, 2006 Posted April 13, 2006 Well, yeah, absolutely - moderation is generally a good rule of thumb. One of my housemates is this type of gamer - he's got zero social skills and rarely leaves his room, and is addicted to those types of war games where you go in with a "team" and perform whatever operations against Nazis or Allies (depending on how ornery you're feeling). He's on the scarily obsessive/unhealthy end of the scale - sometimes I hear him late on Saturday nights (2 am-ish) in his room down the hall, shouting into his mic or headset or whatever: "over there! he's over there behind the wall! ahhh! what are you doing?" Yeah. My brother-in-law's college roommate was like that. His room was smelly, too. He would ask me (5 years his junior) advice on dating and I would be like, personal hygiene is a good start!
KittenMoon Posted April 13, 2006 Posted April 13, 2006 In the earlier days of his gaming, my ex would get SO pissed off at whatever he was playing that he would basically freak. I'd remind him it was just a game and of course, that would get me snapped at. He also played tabletop games and it used to be that I could walk into the room with his back turned to me, touch him on the shoulder and tell if he was doing good or bad depending on how tense he was. He got better about it though in the past few years.
tikigods Posted April 13, 2006 Posted April 13, 2006 Heh when my huby mentions to others that he and I play games together the answer is normally "I wish my girl would play with me!" I love playing games
ventinginblue Posted April 13, 2006 Posted April 13, 2006 I grew up with a gamer brother, so I've been around video/computer games all my life. My boyfriend is very grateful for that, lol. It's sometimes hard for me to pull him away from the computer, but we always joke about it lightly; it never becomes an issue. I think as long as they're not spending an unhealthy amount of time gaming, then it's fine. I personally see it as an opportunity to read a book of mine or take control of the remote (for once!!) on my TV. xD I think it's healthy to let guys enjoy their video games for a while. It also gives you both time away from each other (if your one of those girls who doesn't play the games with your guy), which can be good as well. If you're worried about him spending too much time, try saying something like "Okay, since you're gonna play video games for a while, I'll do (whatever you want). But at 5 o'clock let's watch a movie together." That way you're not forcing them away by saying "Get off there right now!!" and making them resent you, but letting them know you want to spend time with them, at a certain time, and doing it nicely.
Pyro Posted April 13, 2006 Posted April 13, 2006 I have read in several posts/threads here that a lot of gals are bothered by their SO's love for videogames. Why? I don't see why this is so bothersome. In fact, I myself love to play videogames; it was one of my favorite pass-times with my exbf. I know it's all a matter about personal preference, but I often hear videogames being associated with words like "waste of time, " "childish," "immature," etc., and I must really disagree. Sure, it is not the most productive thing to do, but it can actually be a very helpful pass-time, depending on what game you are playing. I just don't see how this is any more of a waste of time than shopping for hours, and hours, and hours, only to buy a silly hat. But then again, I'd pick videogames over shopping almost any day. Does that make me weird? As long as you are able to take care of serious business and you do not neglect the ones that you love, then there is no big deal about it. I personally don't play video games, but different strokes.....
mental_traveller Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 Most leisure time activities are totally "unproductive". That's why their leisure, not work. We do them for their own sake, because they are enjoyable. I don't see how playing a video game for 2 hours is any worse than listening to music for 2 hours, window shopping for 2 hours, watching TV for 2 hours, or spending 2 hours in the bathroom. The problem arises if you start neglecting other aspects of your life just to play games all day. But that's the same with getting too absorbed in anything. Some people, myself included, tend to get really into things - if you have a bit of an obsessive/performance personality (i.e. when you like something you feel like you have to spend lots of time on it & become really good) then make sure you choose something productive rather than something useless. I cringe when I think of the amount of time people spend to become really good at a computer game, when they could have used that to become great at a career or some other more productive activity.
Sand&Water Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 The problem arises if you start neglecting other aspects of your life just to play games all day. But that's the same with getting too absorbed in anything. Some people, myself included, tend to get really into things - if you have a bit of an obsessive/performance personality (i.e. when you like something you feel like you have to spend lots of time on it & become really good) then make sure you choose something productive rather than something useless. I cringe when I think of the amount of time people spend to become really good at a computer game, when they could have used that to become great at a career or some other more productive activity. I agree with you, mental_traveller, on this one. There are definately healthy and unhealthy traits of video gaming. However, one should ask themselves "Where do I place my leisure activity (video games, music, etc) on my priority list?". Does that mean, people who spend countless hours playing sports such as golf, or soccer, are considered unproductive? In my book, when it comes to leisure, I'd choose any type of activity other than shopping. I can't stand shopping, or window shopping for that matter. Very irritating for me.
blind_otter Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 I don't see how playing a video game for 2 hours is any worse than listening to music for 2 hours, window shopping for 2 hours, watching TV for 2 hours, or spending 2 hours in the bathroom. I dunno, I think videogames, as one's primary hobby, can be isolating. Someone who goes out and plays golf for 2 hours, or hangs with their extended family for 2 hours, or cooks for 2 hours -- has something to show at the end of their leisure time. Something tangible that can show their accomplishments. That can help a person's self esteem, and their overall sense of well being, and it can alleviate depression. Passive entertainment, like TV, videogames, etc. -- are all fine and dandy, but I wouldn't compare the two types of activities. There is active and passive entertainment, and never the twain shall meet.
Pendawn Posted April 15, 2006 Posted April 15, 2006 I think the reason so many women have a problem with it is because it's such a solitary, excluding hobby. When a guy is playing a game he wants NO distraction at all and needs his full concentration - he can't converse or cuddle while he's playing. If a guy is playing a game for hour son end his girl can feel very excluded and shut out - for most women talking=love, not talking=angry/upset - even though the guy is simply playing a game and isn't doing it to cut out his lady friend. I'm lucky my bf is a total gamer BUT he never plays when I'm there and has never not shown up for a date becuase of gaming (he sometimes is a little late though!). However he has a friend who will invite you round then ignore you for the whole night while he plays, his partner feels liek a widow as she hardly sees her guy. When my bf had a party at new Year this guy came round and immeditaly went on the computer and started chatting to his gamer friends online which p*ssed my bf off royally.
littlepiggy1 Posted April 15, 2006 Posted April 15, 2006 I think the reason so many women have a problem with it is because it's such a solitary, excluding hobby. I disagree with this. It all depends on what you are playing. My ex and I, for example, used to play games together all the time. If it was a single player game, we'd take turns trying to complete the game. If it was multiplayer, we'd compete against each other. We'd even sometimes try to "distract" the other person while they were playing by doing... um... "stuff". I think it all comes down to what you are playing and how you approach it.
confusedgeek Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 To the original poster, No, I dont consider you wierd for playing video games. Everyone who likes to focus on one thing is odd I think. People who do nothing but read books, people who work all the time, people who just like to hang out with friends every day, people who like to workout everyday, and people who play sports everyday is odd in my opinion. Here, especially in the U.S., there is a large negative stereotype against people who play video games. U.S. Senators like to blame violence based on videogames. Older generation parents not very familiar with tech, blame kids not doing well in school because of them. Yet parents buy them in the first place, etc. Its a bad time for people who like games. Many adults dont know that people good at video games, can enter video game contests and win prizes up to $1,000,000 because they are good at them. Would this make people who play games less productive? I dont think so. Its all about perspective and belief. But dont feel bad for playing video games. Im there with you. And by the way, I work on video games. =) - ConfusedGeek
Guest Posted April 20, 2006 Posted April 20, 2006 I don't really know about videogames. I think that they can have a detrimental effect on the individual who uses them excessively, like anything else. Watch too much TV, watch too much porn -- if this is all you do with your spare time, that is the issue -- the inability to create and maintain a rich, fulfilling, and above all HEALTHY lifestyle. I have a few friends who play videogames a lot and they are really unhealthy. Their bodies are all soft and unformed and they tend to tune things out that they can't handle or don't like to hear. IMO they use it as a coping mechanism to distance themselves from reality. Playing videogames occassionally is OK, but every day, for a few hours a day? That is just as bad as being obsessive or addicted to anything else. Well it's just their interests. I would find anybody who plays sports everyday a bit weird, but thats just because that is who they are.
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