mental_traveller Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 I disagree with the "insecurity" comments. I don't date two people at once (unless I'm open to both from day 1 that I'm not interested in anything serious) and I'd immediately stop seeing someone who did so. If someone is into you, they'll be happy to see only you. If they don't then they're simply aren't interested enough. So take charge and make that demand early, you'll find out what she thinks and in most cases she'll prefer you acting that way to pussyfooting around. Let's put a question - if you were dating Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt (or whoever you prefer) and they said you had to be exclusive or not see them, would you say "Oh sorry, that's a bit insecure, I prefer to keep my options open", or would you say yes and jump their bones? Come on folks it's pretty simple, the only reason to date around is if you don't really rate your current prospect. Dating multiple people is just an excuse for dithering while you wait for someone better to come along.
blind_otter Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 I disagree with the "insecurity" comments. I don't date two people at once (unless I'm open to both from day 1 that I'm not interested in anything serious) and I'd immediately stop seeing someone who did so. If someone is into you, they'll be happy to see only you. If they don't then they're simply aren't interested enough. So take charge and make that demand early, you'll find out what she thinks and in most cases she'll prefer you acting that way to pussyfooting around. Let's put a question - if you were dating Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt (or whoever you prefer) and they said you had to be exclusive or not see them, would you say "Oh sorry, that's a bit insecure, I prefer to keep my options open", or would you say yes and jump their bones? Come on folks it's pretty simple, the only reason to date around is if you don't really rate your current prospect. Dating multiple people is just an excuse for dithering while you wait for someone better to come along. I strongly disagree. I have issues trusting people because of previous abusive relationships. One thing I learned is that anyone can COMPLETELY hide their personality (or what they consider negative elements of their personality) for up to 6 months, IME. For me it's the only healthy option. I simply cannot allow myself to committ that early. I may not date anyone else, I find that confusing, but I won't open up my heart until I feel safe. That takes time, and doesn't represent a lack of interest on my part.
amerikajin Posted April 15, 2006 Posted April 15, 2006 I agree with Otter. I think that dating more than one person is confusing, but dating one person doesn't necessarily have to mean that you've committed yourself to that person. Dating one person at a time doesn't necessarily imply that you're obligated to commit to a long-term relationship; it just means that you're going to give that person your undivided attention, which I think a person who is seeking a real relationship has a right to expect.
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