SmoochieFace Posted April 11, 2006 Posted April 11, 2006 Well yea' date=' when your S/O all of the sudden finds someone more attractive than you[b'] of course[/b] your gonna have low self esteem issues!! Not quite what I meant. I meant that those women have low self-esteem all along - even before the cheating. We've got a few of those here even. As far as AFTER the cheating... she should kick his sorry ass out the door and hope that his new girl-toy gives him AIDS or some other *ailment* that makes his dick fall off. Sweet revenge... that oughta prop up the self-esteem by a few notches.
Author Tim'sAngel Posted April 11, 2006 Author Posted April 11, 2006 Wow. I had no idea this sort of thing really happened any more. But there are SO many people on here who have this relationship where the woman is being paid to be with the man. 0o0o0o0oh... like a sugar daddy?
catgirl1927 Posted April 11, 2006 Posted April 11, 2006 Care to explain this please? Thanks. Well, guys on here keep saying, "I give her money, I buy her things, so I expect X behavior from her." Women say, "I know he cheated but I have no money of my own so what can I do." It would just seem that people would connect the dots! If women had their own money, they could say, "Look, I'm a human being and I count just as much as you do. If you don't care about my feelings or think they are stupid, go find someone else." I think that also those women's husbands would respect them a lot more, and might think to themselves, "Hey, she may love me but she doesn't NEED me. If I cheat, she will walk the F out. Do I really want to do this?" I just think SO many relationships would be SO much healthier if the people in them were equals instead of the parent-child relationships I'm seeing so much of.
JackJack Posted April 11, 2006 Posted April 11, 2006 I feel bad for your SIL, man, that's a rotten thing your brother did to her. Yeah it was a rotten thing for him to do. Glad I'm not like him at all. Don't feel bad for my SIL, she chose to stay with him, and now badgers him all the time about where he is at, what he is doing etc. I couldn't live like that. She should have dumped him IMO.
Author Tim'sAngel Posted April 11, 2006 Author Posted April 11, 2006 Not quite what I meant. I meant that those women have low self-esteem all along - even before the cheating. We've got a few of those here even. As far as AFTER the cheating... she should kick his sorry ass out the door and hope that his new girl-toy gives him AIDS or some other *ailment* that makes his dick fall off. Sweet revenge... that oughta prop up the self-esteem by a few notches. I know thats not what you meant. I'm telling you thats why some women have low self esteem issues because here they are in a nice healthy relationship (or what may look healthy) and all of the sudden the bomb gets dropped. You have no idea how that can ruin a womens self worth... or i dunno, maybe you do, doesn't sound like it tho
catgirl1927 Posted April 11, 2006 Posted April 11, 2006 Oh and also, do guys really want to be with a woman who is just in it for the money? I mean, shouldn't it be YOU she loves and not the Lexus?
SmoochieFace Posted April 11, 2006 Posted April 11, 2006 0o0o0o0oh... like a sugar daddy? Well, any dude that has to *pay* a woman for companionship is a f***in' desperate loser and the woman is a bona-fide whore. And, yes, the reverse is just as bad...
blind_otter Posted April 11, 2006 Posted April 11, 2006 It seems to me, like the individuals involved in the situation have to decide for themselves what their tolerance levels are. There are numerous individuals (on here, as everyone seems to like to reference for some bizarre reason) who have successfully maintained and strengthened their marriages after infidelity. There are those who don't. And it really boils down to the two people involved. I know how much we enjoy making sweeping generalizations that don't really apply to everyone, but honestly. With something like this. And so little experience with the actual situation. This dialogue was deteriorated into a fantasy laden s*** flinging fest. 1
JackJack Posted April 11, 2006 Posted April 11, 2006 Well yea' date=' when your S/O all of the sudden finds someone more attractive than you[b'] of course[/b] your gonna have low self esteem issues!! What if the cheater down graded and cheated with someone who was not as pretty as the wife? I never understood that, but maybe it has something to do with the fact that not all people cheat with someone based on looks.
SmoochieFace Posted April 11, 2006 Posted April 11, 2006 I just think SO many relationships would be SO much healthier if the people in them were equals instead of the parent-child relationships I'm seeing so much of. *applause* Finally... someone who *gets it*. I should buy you a round of drinks for that.
Author Tim'sAngel Posted April 11, 2006 Author Posted April 11, 2006 Well, guys on here keep saying, "I give her money, I buy her things, so I expect X behavior from her." Women say, "I know he cheated but I have no money of my own so what can I do." It would just seem that people would connect the dots! If women had their own money, they could say, "Look, I'm a human being and I count just as much as you do. If you don't care about my feelings or think they are stupid, go find someone else." I think that also those women's husbands would respect them a lot more, and might think to themselves, "Hey, she may love me but she doesn't NEED me. If I cheat, she will walk the F out. Do I really want to do this?" I just think SO many relationships would be SO much healthier if the people in them were equals instead of the parent-child relationships I'm seeing so much of. I agree w/this
serial muse Posted April 11, 2006 Posted April 11, 2006 SF, you seem to have really thought this thing through. Seriously, I sincerely hope nothing of the sort ever happens to you (or anyone, for that matter, tra la, tra lee, roses and rainbows). But it's useful to remember that one reason why people cheat (I hear) is sometimes because they find their SO's incredibly difficult to communicate with, and feel consistently like their opinions and feelings are being discounted or not allowed to have merit in such discussions. Anyway, I'm not excusing cheating by any stretch, seeing as I too think there's no good reason not to end things above-board first, if a person is that fed up. But, people do stupid things. Stupid human things. Which they then pay the consequences for, and so the world turns. The women who take back their dear cheaters probably suffer from low self-esteem and low self-respect. They are probably afraid that they will NEVER find another man again in their lifetimes so they are scared to kick the cheater out on his ass. On to this. I think self-esteem is certainly a factor. However, I can attest that the second half of the statement wasn't the case for me, SF. Of course I knew I could find another man if I wanted one. But at the time, I was still in love with my husband and was still in full-on faithful mode; years of trust and love don't generally just evaporate overnight. (Observe the infidelity boards and you'll find I'm hardly alone in that.) There was a time delay before I was ready to revise my opinion of him.
SmoochieFace Posted April 11, 2006 Posted April 11, 2006 Oh and also, do guys really want to be with a woman who is just in it for the money? I mean, shouldn't it be YOU she loves and not the Lexus? ... Not this guy. She should love ME for my intangible qualities that make me who I am. A Lexus doesn't define who I am and it has no bearing on my character.
SmoochieFace Posted April 11, 2006 Posted April 11, 2006 SF, you seem to have really thought this thing through. Laugh all you want but for me this doesn't require very much thought. You obviously have a different take on this which is cool by me but don't dis me for MY take, k? Seriously, I sincerely hope nothing of the sort ever happens to you... Perhaps it has happened.
catgirl1927 Posted April 11, 2006 Posted April 11, 2006 I just used the Lexus as an example. b_o is right. These are generalizations. Not every situation is the same.
SmoochieFace Posted April 11, 2006 Posted April 11, 2006 I just used the Lexus as an example. b_o is right. These are generalizations. Not every situation is the same. Well, since I drive a Lexus I just conveniently used that for my example... sorry.
catgirl1927 Posted April 11, 2006 Posted April 11, 2006 Well, since I drive a Lexus I just conveniently used that for my example... sorry. Don't apologize. It's just an example.
serial muse Posted April 11, 2006 Posted April 11, 2006 Relax, SF. I wasn't dissing you for your take. You described an elaborate scenario, and I found that funny. And come on, if you're going to be all sensitive about this, then I'll add that I'm not particularly interested in being judged by you, either, k? To wit: They are probably afraid that they will NEVER find another man again in their lifetimes so they are scared to kick the cheater out on his ass. Oy, how you love the generalizations.
SmoochieFace Posted April 11, 2006 Posted April 11, 2006 Don't apologize. It's just an example. Well, since we seem to have smooched and made up in my white Lexus let us continue with the topic of infidelity. I wanna hear from some dudes on this... particularly those dudes who had a cheating spouse/GF/whatever and they took her back. Why did you do it?
SmoochieFace Posted April 11, 2006 Posted April 11, 2006 And come on, if you're going to be all sensitive about this, then I'll add that I'm not particularly interested in being judged by you, either, k? To wit: If it didn't apply to you personally in the first place then it wouldn't have mattered to you, right? Why do you think you were being *judged*?
serial muse Posted April 11, 2006 Posted April 11, 2006 If it didn't apply to you personally in the first place then it wouldn't have mattered to you, right? Why do you think you were being *judged*? Oh, stop it. You know you were generalizing about any women who would consider taking a man back. Which I did. Therefore you were applying it to me, albeit incorrectly. QED. OK, enough of this silliness. SF, you're entitled to your opinion, and I say, rock on with your bad self and show those cheaters who's boss. And I also would like to hear from guys who took their cheating SOs back...
SmoochieFace Posted April 11, 2006 Posted April 11, 2006 What if the cheater down graded and cheated with someone who was not as pretty as the wife? I never understood that, but maybe it has something to do with the fact that not all people cheat with someone based on looks. True. The woman could be a *butterface* with a killer bod. Hell, I've seen some women who were ugly in the face but their bodies... holy s***... some of them got the absolute BEST set of asscheeks! Nice and round and firm... fill out a pair of jeans real good! With that... who cares 'bout the face?
SmoochieFace Posted April 11, 2006 Posted April 11, 2006 OK, enough of this silliness. SF, you're entitled to your opinion, and I say, rock on with your bad self and show those cheaters who's boss. Damn righty I'm the boss! The boss bunny!
Author Tim'sAngel Posted April 11, 2006 Author Posted April 11, 2006 I too wanna hear from da boiz!! I think I am inclined to think relationships won't work after infidelity. Even if you go to counseling, you will always wonder if it will happen again.
SmoochieFace Posted April 11, 2006 Posted April 11, 2006 I too wanna hear from da boiz!! I think I am inclined to think relationships won't work after infidelity. Even if you go to counseling' date=' you will always wonder if it will happen again.[/quote'] Well, you've heard from one. Who's next?
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