tanbark813 Posted April 11, 2006 Posted April 11, 2006 A lot of reflection lately and something I was thinking about this morning prompted this post. My last two ex's both had the annoying habit of making fun of me in a group setting (for instance, while out with my friends). Nothing major but in each case I put a stop to it by stating that it bothered me. With the last ex I actually had to do it back to her before she really got the point. But then last Friday night I was out with friends for dinner. At the table were two couples. One couple was my best friend and his gf of 4 years and the other couple have been together for maybe a year or so. Anyway, in each case the woman of each couple would make fun of the man. Again, nothing all that mean-spirited or below the belt, but somewhat mean. The guys in this case didn't really reciprocate. My best friend, though, is the most patient guy on the planet and nothing really bothers him. I've just been noticing that a lot of SO's make fun of each other. You can even see it a bit here on LS. Even sit-coms contain a great deal of husband-/wife-bashing. (I know TV isn't real life but it still reflects it.) Anyway, I don't really make fun of SO's unless provoked. While it's normal for guys to give each other s***--and I enjoy that--I think it should be different when it comes to romantic relationships. IMO, couples should give each other no less than 100% support. I just wonder why it's so commonplace to give your SO so much s*** and wonder how many people here engage in the same type of behavior...?
blind_otter Posted April 11, 2006 Posted April 11, 2006 I do it back to him because he does it to me and it hurts my feelings. But he seems unaware of it. Whatever I'm breaking up with him anyways.
Tim'sAngel Posted April 11, 2006 Posted April 11, 2006 Humor is a huge part of our relationship. In fact I believe that is a big factor that got us together. We both have the same sense of humor. We joke about each other when we're alone, just playing around. If it is in front of people it's like his roomie who is in the same home we are, so you know, he's around alot. I don't put him down though, at least I don't see it as putting him down, and I'm sure if Something I did bothered him, he would tell me about it. I have heard couples put each other down in public and it bothers me too. There is joking, and there is just being plain rude.
a4a Posted April 11, 2006 Posted April 11, 2006 Hell yes we make fun of each other....... I do this much more than he does so to me. I call the H Fabio because of his long ass hair, make fun of him if he does something really stupid (as long as he is not hurt)....... but I also tell him how brilliant, gorgeous, and wonderful he is very often. Come on now with my personality how could I not rib people, including my H? But I will not tolerate others that make actual hurtful remarks about him, those not made in jest.
hotgurl Posted April 11, 2006 Posted April 11, 2006 we tease each other a lot but it is light and not mean spirited. We don't insult each other or put each other down. It kinda like this he was really gassy for a period of time before x-mas so for x-mas as part of his stocking I slipped in some beano. That's the kind of stuff we do. It made him laugh.
serial muse Posted April 11, 2006 Posted April 11, 2006 I think sometimes people mistake mean-spiritedness for witty, His-Girl-Friday-type banter. Light-hearted teasing about things that aren't too personal is one thing, but attacking your SO's private weak spots in public is pretty harsh. Sometimes, honestly, people don't know each others' boundaries, and those things do vary from person to person; in that case, taking the SO aside and saying simply, "please don't talk about that in public" should suffice. But there are people who just do it on a power trip. They must be shut down, swiftly and mercilessly. It's happened to me before with a SO, and I put a stop to it in the same manner you did, Tan. (I don't like to instigate that crap, but it's not like I can't give as good as I get if I have to.) But by then, the red flag was already a-fluttering in the breeze.
hotgurl Posted April 11, 2006 Posted April 11, 2006 Also I meant to add most of our teasing is done in private.
alphamale Posted April 11, 2006 Posted April 11, 2006 IMO, couples should give each other no less than 100% support. dude....I don't know what planet you live on. It sure ain't Earth
Author tanbark813 Posted April 11, 2006 Author Posted April 11, 2006 dude....I don't know what planet you live on. It sure ain't Earth Well maybe the full 100% is idealistic but too many people seem to be unsupportive a**h***s. I just can't relate to you humans.
alphamale Posted April 11, 2006 Posted April 11, 2006 Well maybe the full 100% is idealistic but too many people seem to be unsupportive a**h***s. I just can't relate to you humans. partners should be supportive most of the time but we still need to leave some space for good natured ribbing, horsing around, and just plain old being negative and non-supportive and maybe even beligerent.
bluetuesday Posted April 11, 2006 Posted April 11, 2006 I call the H Fabio because of his long ass hair your husband has long ass hair? i am a fairly merciless tease. i tease him in public. i also praise him. it depends on whether he's done or said anything that deserves ribbing or praising usually. but i only tease gently. i'm not a bitch about it. a man who can't laugh at himself wouldn't survive five minutes in my company. i make fun. and i expect to be made fun of. that's the deal. support isn't something that has to be constantly underlined for me. i know it's there when it counts.
Pyro Posted April 11, 2006 Posted April 11, 2006 partners should be supportive most of the time but we still need to leave some space for good natured ribbing, horsing around, and just plain old being negative and non-supportive and maybe even beligerent. I really hope that you are meaning to be sarcastic. When is there a good time to be negative or non-supporting to your S.O.? There is never a good time. I tend to be a smartass and I do to my S.O. but I always tell her that I am kidding afterwards. Its all in good fun.
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