2020vision Posted April 10, 2006 Share Posted April 10, 2006 Ok, sooo I have been doing fantastic with NC and have been feeling great how much I am NOT thinking about my ex. Then, this weekend happend: I ran into my ex's brother. So at first, I tried to avoid him. Then I hear my name being called out and think to myself "OH SH*T" He proceeds to start talking to me telling me how great I look and how nice me new car is and blah blah blah. THEN, he starts talking s*** about my ex's new gf and how ugly she is and how loud and obnoxious she is and how my ex is a POS...I laughed at some of the things he was saying and the only thing I said that was semi-mean was "As far as I am concerned *****,he has dug his grave, now he can jump in" I was happy at first about this conversation and all the s*** his brother was talking about him, then realized that it was all going to turn around on me and make me look like an idiot...WELL GUESS WHAT?? IT DID. He sent me an email today that goes something like this... "I heard you ran into my brother and his gf. I ask you, if you would please not talk s*** to my friends or family when/if you run into them. Believe me, it is not me that looks like the idiot when you talk s*** to my own brother. I have been thinking about you a lot lately, and wish I could talk to you on a regular basis but I don't think that will happen." Nice huh?!! I replied back with this: "I pity you that your own brother would not only "talk s***" about you, but lie to you. This once again proves to me how little you know me and the level of class that I uphold." My best friend is now pissed at me,calling me pathetic because I even responded. I just felt like I needed to defend myself; he basically called me an idiot. Was it really that wrong that I replied?? Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted April 10, 2006 Share Posted April 10, 2006 Ok, sooo I have been doing fantastic with NC and have been feeling great how much I am NOT thinking about my ex. Then, this weekend happend: I ran into my ex's brother. So at first, I tried to avoid him. Then I hear my name being called out and think to myself "OH SH*T" He proceeds to start talking to me telling me how great I look and how nice me new car is and blah blah blah. THEN, he starts talking s*** about my ex's new gf and how ugly she is and how loud and obnoxious she is and how my ex is a POS...I laughed at some of the things he was saying and the only thing I said that was semi-mean was "As far as I am concerned *****,he has dug his grave, now he can jump in" I was happy at first about this conversation and all the s*** his brother was talking about him, then realized that it was all going to turn around on me and make me look like an idiot...WELL GUESS WHAT?? IT DID. He sent me an email today that goes something like this... "I heard you ran into my brother and his gf. I ask you, if you would please not talk s*** to my friends or family when/if you run into them. Believe me, it is not me that looks like the idiot when you talk s*** to my own brother. I have been thinking about you a lot lately, and wish I could talk to you on a regular basis but I don't think that will happen." Nice huh?!! I replied back with this: "I pity you that your own brother would not only "talk s***" about you, but lie to you. This once again proves to me how little you know me and the level of class that I uphold." My best friend is now pissed at me,calling me pathetic because I even responded. I just felt like I needed to defend myself; he basically called me an idiot. Was it really that wrong that I replied?? In my second chances guide I specifically addressed this situation. It almost always gets back to an ex if you say anything negative to a mutual friend (or in this case, relative). You had every right to say what you said and frankly I don't think it was bad, but blood is thicker than water and you probably got set up (to some degree). You don't need to defend yourself. The best way to prove that you are above that is to smile and change the subject and maintain NC. I realize you can't run from every situation but recognize that when you're speaking to a blood relative, it's going to get back to them. And your best friend should be more supportive than that. What kind of friend calls you pathetic?! Smack her for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 2020vision Posted April 10, 2006 Author Share Posted April 10, 2006 blood is thicker than water and you probably got set up (to some degree). That is exactly how I feel...Its like his bro was just feeding me stuff to comment about to run and tell him. Well, lesson learned. IF I run into family members/friends I will keep these lips shut! You don't need to defend yourself. The best way to prove that you are above that is to smile and change the subject and maintain NC. I realize you can't run from every situation but recognize that when you're speaking to a blood relative, it's going to get back to them. I totally agree, now looking back on it. I emailed him back rather irrationally. I do believe indifference speaks volumes compared to any words I could say. And your best friend should be more supportive than that. What kind of friend calls you pathetic?! Smack her for me. Thanks ...She made me feel like crap! Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted April 10, 2006 Share Posted April 10, 2006 That is exactly how I feel...Its like his bro was just feeding me stuff to comment about to run and tell him. Well, lesson learned. IF I run into family members/friends I will keep these lips shut! That's what family does. And see, he probably went back to him and said "See how messed up your ex is?" All he wanted to do was validate his brother. I totally agree, now looking back on it. I emailed him back rather irrationally. I do believe indifference speaks volumes compared to any words I could say. By saying nothing to him or his brother, you would have said a 1000 words and keep your dignity intact. But don't worry about what your ex thinks. What he thinks about you shouldn't be of any concern to you anymore. Thanks ...She made me feel like crap! I'll make you feel better. If that you in the pic, looking good! Link to post Share on other sites
Author 2020vision Posted April 11, 2006 Author Share Posted April 11, 2006 But don't worry about what your ex thinks. What he thinks about you shouldn't be of any concern to you anymore. Exactly! I was actully discussing with my friend how much I just don't really care anymore. His opinions,especially of me,mean nothing. I'll make you feel better. If that you in the pic, looking good! Yes, that is me... Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 Exactly! I was actully discussing with my friend how much I just don't really care anymore. His opinions,especially of me,mean nothing. Then let it slide and stick to NC. Yes, that is me... Link to post Share on other sites
Author 2020vision Posted April 11, 2006 Author Share Posted April 11, 2006 What part of "Cali" do you live in CaliGuy?? Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 What part of "Cali" do you live in CaliGuy?? SoCal. Aka: Soccermomville USA Link to post Share on other sites
fooled Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 Yeah 20/20 - if one of the ex's family members or even mutual friends starts talking s***, the best thing is to tell them immediately "I'm not interested in him or his life." Hopefully the friend calling you "pathetic" was just tough love. A lot of my dearest friends said some harsh things to me - but in their heart it was to help me protect myself. If they were serious - get that person out of your life. And I agree with CG - hubba-hubba! Link to post Share on other sites
Author 2020vision Posted April 11, 2006 Author Share Posted April 11, 2006 Aka: Soccermomville USA LOL I live in the bay area.. I thought the suburb I live in with all the suburbans and minivans surrounding me was soccermomville!! I stand corrected! I guess I should rename this area cheeseballguyville. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 2020vision Posted April 11, 2006 Author Share Posted April 11, 2006 Fooled, I realize this now...As I have stated in another thread, I have actually pretty much reprogrammed my brain to not care about anything about him anymore. I think its just sometimes I just forget. Running into his brother totally caught me off gaurd and I just spoke without thinking. It was actually a pretty good feeling afterwards that it did not screw me up like it would have a few months back. There is a first and last time for everything! Thanks for the compliment! Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 I guess I should rename this area cheeseballguyville. We're not all cheeseballs. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 And I agree with CG - hubba-hubba! Ok Fooled, let's flip a coin Aw crap, Tankbark is closer Link to post Share on other sites
Author 2020vision Posted April 11, 2006 Author Share Posted April 11, 2006 We're not all cheeseballs. Yes, this is true! And thats what keeps me dating! Link to post Share on other sites
Author 2020vision Posted April 11, 2006 Author Share Posted April 11, 2006 Ok Fooled, let's flip a coin Aw crap, Tankbark is closer Oh my.... Link to post Share on other sites
the_alchemyst Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 How cute. For some reason I thought you lived somewhere in Europe, 2020. I bet it was because you used the word "bloody." Oh my. It's people like me who make others think people from Orange County are completely self-centered and uncultured. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 How cute. For some reason I thought you lived somewhere in Europe, 2020. I bet it was because you used the word "bloody." Oh my. It's people like me who make others think people from Orange County are completely self-centered and uncultured. Hey now If she was local and into older guys, we'd be going out! Link to post Share on other sites
francis Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 the bay area is local compared to Ing-er-land! meep meep! Link to post Share on other sites
Author 2020vision Posted April 11, 2006 Author Share Posted April 11, 2006 For some reason I thought you lived somewhere in Europe, 2020. I bet it was because you used the word "bloody." Lol, I was trying to mix things up a bit! Link to post Share on other sites
Author 2020vision Posted April 11, 2006 Author Share Posted April 11, 2006 Hey now If she was local and into older guys, we'd be going out! LOL CG, we have gone over the older guy topic before! And from what little I have read on LS about LDRs, I have concluded they are all bad! Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 LOL CG, we have gone over the older guy topic before! And from what little I have read on LS about LDRs, I have concluded they are all bad! I guess you'll just have to move. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 2020vision Posted April 11, 2006 Author Share Posted April 11, 2006 I guess you'll just have to move. Thanks for making me laugh ...a crappy long day at work lies ahead for me!! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 Ok Fooled, let's flip a coin Aw crap, Tankbark is closer Thenn let's flip Tankbark Link to post Share on other sites
fooled Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 Ok Fooled, let's flip a coin Aw crap, Tankbark is closer Then let's flip Tankbark! Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 Then let's flip Tankbark! Great! Heads I win Tails, you lose. Twice Link to post Share on other sites
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