Guest Posted April 10, 2006 Posted April 10, 2006 I've been married to my husband for 4 years and we've been togethr for 7. I've known his best friend for 6 of those and we used to live with him before we got married. He's like my best friend too, but we usually only see each other when we're all together. There has never been any improper actions or comments or anything between us and I know there won't be because he loves my husband like a brother and I love my husband too much to hurt him like that...but the problem is I can't stop THINKING about it. I feel like an idiot and I'm riddled with guilt most of the time, but I have these explicit fantasies about this best friend nearly everyday. And it isn't all about sex either, though that is a big part. I just start thinking, "What if..." and my imagination takes off. It has been going on a very long time and it has gotten to the point where I think the fantasies about the friend are having a negative effect on my marriage. I find myself getting more and more unhappy with how my husband treats me, even though he's only marginally more insensitive than he used to be and he's always been the last one to 'get it' when he hurts someone's feelings. And lately I turn him down for sex more often because I'm beginning to prefer thinking about those "what-ifs" more than what's real and right in front of me. I've spoken with a trusted friend about this and haven't received any good advice on how to handle it. I've been keeping busy, trying to stop my mind from wandering back to the friend, but just when I think it's getting better, I have a few idle moments, my mind drifts and it all starts up again. Anyone have any experience with this and how do I keep it from continuing to infect my relationship with my husband?
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