violet_21 Posted April 10, 2006 Posted April 10, 2006 I have been in a relationship for 3 years with my boyfriend. Things are terrible in our relationship right now; he barely makes time for me, treats me badly (verbally) and he doesn't want to get married or have children etc.. he says "maybe in the future" but i have a gut feelings he really does not. Anyways. I have given him alot of chances to treat me differently, and its going nowhere. He says he loves me but he doesn't show it. Our sex life has gone down the tubes. And to top it all off, hes seperated not yet divorced, has 2 kids and a crazy ex wife. I guess you are all wondering what I see in him. He has a good side, but its rarely to be seen anymore. We will have a good day together and then its like he dissapeirs for days.. even if I do see him its like hes not even there. I have tried to get him to admit to me that hes not in love with me, but he won't.. he doesn't seem to know what he feels. It makes it worse, like he is giving me false hope. We also work together and are partners on a business. For the past four months or so he basically has been doing nothing at all and I have been shouldering all the work. He is still getting half the money generated but basically doing nothing for it. When I mention it to him he basically flips out, saying I am not being supportive of his rough times. His grandma died and he is dealing with his divorced but I feel that hes taking advantage of me. I try to tell him in the best way possible but he is nothing but rude back to me. It hurts so much being in love with someone, and being forced to see all these awful things about him. I just can't do it anymore. I am so lonely and sad in this relationship. He makes fun of me alot, calls me names and tries to get me angry at him. I am not sure why I am a pretty nice person and I think its been easy for him to start walking on me. It's happened to me before in other friendships and stuff. He is my first major relationship, I have been with him since I was 19.. and he is 35. I am just feeling so bad about this. All our good memorys are making me cry everytime i think about them. We also own things together, a few cars and also some leased things. We also got a puppy together and I am so upset thinking I won't see him anymore. I just want some advice on how to deal with this. I think its coming to an end and it just hurts so much
riobikini Posted April 10, 2006 Posted April 10, 2006 Violet, just from reading your post, it sounds like the good memories will (at some future point) be easily outweighed by all the negative things this relationship has burdened you with. Once you've gone through the initial phases of this breakup and the pain has dulled to no more than an uncomfortable memory, you'll see that and wonder why in the world you ever allowed the treatment you have been receiving from this man. I know it doesn't seem possible right now, that this will all just become a distant memory, but it will. Your emotions will probably be intensely affected over the next inevitable, undetermined period and you'll no doubt, look for the support of those who've "been there" -you're in the right place...(Smile) Stay in the boards and keep posting. (Hugs for you.) -Rio
bab Posted April 10, 2006 Posted April 10, 2006 I am so lonely and sad in this relationship. He makes fun of me alot, calls me names and tries to get me angry at him. I am not sure why I am a pretty nice person and I think its been easy for him to start walking on me. It's happened to me before in other friendships and stuff. Violet, you do not need a man that makes fun of you. No one deserves to be made fun of by the person that is suppossed to be the one person that constantly cheers for you. You need to get out of this relationship. You are young and you have plenty of time to find a man that will treat you with respect, and value who you are. Do not settle for less. Good luck.
zarathustra Posted April 10, 2006 Posted April 10, 2006 I think someone who truly loves you would appreciate you for who you are. This guy sounds as useful as tits on a bull. Drop him. If you are business partners think of a way to buy him out. You are sustaining the business as his contribution to it right now is 0.
burning 4 revenge Posted April 10, 2006 Posted April 10, 2006 I want to find someone sho is 19 when I am 35.
zarathustra Posted April 10, 2006 Posted April 10, 2006 I want to find someone sho is 19 when I am 35. She said she's been with hin for 3 years and she's been with him since she's 19... If I do my math right, I think it puts her at 22. Still young, but some are more mature for their age than others. Look, I don't mean to be rude or anything, but do you actually have some good advice to give to this young lady? any at all? I don't think you've said anything constructive at all and I think she is looking for genuine advice here.
Just Visiting Posted April 12, 2006 Posted April 12, 2006 Based on what you have posted, you are better off going on your own. Both business and personal. About last 1.5 months of my relationship, the ex was behaving like an a** and it really hurt. I was also going through some family tragedies and really needed someone there to hold me. But he made it obvious that he wanted to be on his own. As hard as it was, I knew deep down that I wasn't going to allow him to treat me like crap. So I packed up and moved out. You are better off doing the same...believe me. Stand up for yourself and leave this guy alone. You sound like a good, smart, young lady...get out while you can.
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