lilly36 Posted April 10, 2006 Posted April 10, 2006 hey- I have a good guy friend- (i'm female) and today we got into an arguement...the whole thing is stupid, really, but we are both really stubborn people...and I don't want this to end up affecting our friendship. Do you think that I should give it couple days to cool off, or do you think that I should be the bigger person and try to settle the situations?
Guest** Posted April 10, 2006 Posted April 10, 2006 Well...you said it, "it was really stupid". What is there to settle about something stupid? Why does it need to cool off? I would think that there is a question of the level of maturity here...unless this something "really stupid" (it would be nice to hear what this stupid thing was, to get an idea of whether it is or not) ended up being "really something". **
Author lilly36 Posted April 10, 2006 Author Posted April 10, 2006 well, this person has a "my way only" approach. THere is never any willingness to see things from a different perspecitve...no " I see how you might feel that way, but" more "this is how it is, deal with it and get over it". Make sense?
ddnnee Posted April 10, 2006 Posted April 10, 2006 go show them a piece of your mind. Make it a big hate fest and eventually, you guys will fall in love.
Guest Posted April 10, 2006 Posted April 10, 2006 If its not that big of a deal, forget about it! Dont hold grudges, and the next time you see him just say hey! Act as if a fight never happened. Unless of course you feel you need to tell him hoe you feel. But if it is over something stupid, chances are he has all ready forgotten about it. Men dont tend to dwell on little petty things. As a matter of fact, they dont tend to dwell on the big things either! GL
Author lilly36 Posted April 11, 2006 Author Posted April 11, 2006 hey "guest"--- what constitues "really something"
Guest** Posted April 12, 2006 Posted April 12, 2006 Lilly, Sometimes, that which is trivial to men...is signifigant to women (pay attention! I said sometimes.), and vice versa. Usually, arguments are over something stupid. Sometimes there is an unrelated reason why arguments happen. Do you and your guy friend argue alot? Have you/him ever tried to resolve issues/arguments? You've described both of you as "stubborn" people, and you described your guy friend as a "my way or the highway" type of guy. I see an issue right there. Could it be that the argument topic was of a sensitive nature to guy friend? Then it could have been "really something" to him. Not knowing what the topic is/was only can leave me to speculate about why, who, when, where. So, with vague questions, come only vague answers. One question you could ask yourself is, "how important is this friendship to me?". **
Guest** Posted April 14, 2006 Posted April 14, 2006 Lilly, You know...I get the feeling that this is (or may have been at one time) more than a friendship. Can this be the case? **
Author lilly36 Posted April 16, 2006 Author Posted April 16, 2006 Guest- Possibly- you know what they say about M-F friendships- are they ever truly platonic? I honestly don't know- the thought has crossed my mind, but I doubt he is attracted to me.
Guest** Posted April 16, 2006 Posted April 16, 2006 lilly36 said: Possibly- you know what they say about M-F friendships- are they ever truly platonic? I honestly don't know- the thought has crossed my mind, but I doubt he is attracted to me. Lilly, I know what they say about M-F friendships, I'm sure you can find quite a few posts on that subject here. I'm also sure that all the posts are mixed. Sometimes it's best to be friends first; how you get along as friends can be a precursor to how you will get along as mates. How much value do you place on having this guy in your life? Does he place any value on having you in his life? So, you don't know for sure if he is (or not) attracted to you? (why assume the negative?) Have you and your guyfriend had contact since your argument? The argument you and your guyfriend had, it seems, was bad enough to make you want to come here and seek advice. If he hurt you, tell him he did so. If you feel that he is too obstinate, tell him it may be damaging to your friendship/relationship. I think it would be best to get it all out in the open; communicate! A lack of communication, in some cases, is not good. **
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