smile95 Posted April 8, 2006 Posted April 8, 2006 I have been talking to a guy for about 2 wks. On email and text he is so sweet and bold. In person, he is shy. Is is a shy guy, but after we get to know each other is it normal for a guy to warm up? I am shy too, but not THAT shy? Also, we have been on 2 dates(but we work together, so I see him all the time). I am attracted to him and he is so nice. I was with a Narcissist who spoiled me and wooed me and swept me off my feet in the beginning, but I am hearing from my friends, that normal relationships do not start that way usually. I am trying to to comapre him to my ex narcissist, but it is hard. Can love grow or will you always feel that "spark" from day one with the "one"????
johan Posted April 8, 2006 Posted April 8, 2006 I don't know why the "spark" isn't there. Either it's because you aren't fired up about this guy or because you are looking back at the ex a lot.
allina Posted April 9, 2006 Posted April 9, 2006 I'm confused, you consider your ex to be a narcissist because he was attentive to you and 'sweped' you off your feet? As for this new guy, he may still be getting comfortable with you in person, hence him being more open when you aren't interacting face to face. If you're interested in him keep seeing him, if he's interested in getting to know you better his shyness will start to ease up.
Author smile95 Posted April 9, 2006 Author Posted April 9, 2006 Oh that is just one reason I consider him a narcissist. He was a con artist and was sweet to get me hooked and then tore me down emotioanlly over 4 yrs. i guess you are right. I need to give it some more time.
daphne Posted April 10, 2006 Posted April 10, 2006 Smile, I dated a narcissist a couple of years ago. It sounds like you aren't quite over yours yet. No, it's really not terribly normal for a guy that barely knows you to sweep you off your feet like that. And if he does, you need to put the breaks on it to give it time so you can see if he's for real. Generally speaking, even the best intentioned men who practice this end up really falling short later on because it's just a heavy push to get the girl and they can't maintain it and often don't want to. That being said, it's been a long time and I met a guy who didn't sweep me off my feet. He liked me from the beginning but I didn't notice him (too many other irons in the fire). We began dating and his quiet persistence and slow moving started working on me. His actions told me what I needed to know about his sincerity. I can't say that I haven't made comparisons. I did feel initially that if he REALLY liked me he'd do this or that. But with patience I just accepted what he offered and I realize that he does really like me. And he shows it more and more as time goes on. He just isn't trying to bowl me over with bs eyewash. In retrospect, I really liked his approach. I would have seriously missed out if I hadn't given it a chance.
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