BlahBlahQueen Posted April 8, 2006 Posted April 8, 2006 Please don't flame me. My friend's best friend has asked me to move in with him in NYC. I've only exchanged a few short emails with him and spoken to him on the phone twice. But he is adorable and sweet and totally HOT and easily the funniest guy I've ever known. He's a musician and filmmaker, bless their nonsensical impulsive souls, and is being totally sincere about this. I'm almost sure I want to; I've been wanting to see something new anyway and I was planning a long-term vacation up in New York to see my other friend anyway. Is there anything wrong with just doing something radical on a whim every now and then? Biting the bullet and taking the leap? I'm stifled here, I want a whirlwind romance and here it is, offering itself to me on a plate... but somehow it seems so... insane! Aagh!
westernxer Posted April 8, 2006 Posted April 8, 2006 Is there anything wrong with just doing something radical on a whim every now and then? As long as you're not hurting anyone else, go for it. If you hurt yourself in the process, at least you'll know for next time.
justagirliegirl Posted April 8, 2006 Posted April 8, 2006 If you don't have job, family, or other obligations I say go for it! Just leave yourself a way out in case he turns out to be a nutjob.
luvtoto Posted April 8, 2006 Posted April 8, 2006 I am jealous. I used to be adventerous like that. Until, my kids were getting affected by it. Some people may say it's irresponsible, but I say, "Live your Life!"
justagirliegirl Posted April 8, 2006 Posted April 8, 2006 I am jealous. I used to be adventerous like that. Until, my kids were getting affected by it. Some people may say it's irresponsible, but I say, "Live your Life!" Yep you have to! I'm moving to another country this year. Not on a whim but still pretty daring.
luvtoto Posted April 8, 2006 Posted April 8, 2006 Yep you have to! I'm moving to another country this year. Not on a whim but still pretty daring. The next time I get to be daring is after my kids are grown. Then, I'm living it up!! Maybe . The older I get, the less I need excitement.. and that scares me, actually.
justagirliegirl Posted April 8, 2006 Posted April 8, 2006 The next time I get to be daring is after my kids are grown. Then, I'm living it up!! Maybe . The older I get, the less I need excitement.. and that scares me, actually. I waited after my kids were grown. I thought I didn't need any excitement. I lived a pretty routine life for many years. After the divorce I found excitement but in different ways than if I was say 20.
Outcast Posted April 8, 2006 Posted April 8, 2006 Are you absolutely positive that he's ok to live with? (As in no violent/controlling tendencies, drugs or other nasty habits?). Are you absolutely positive he doesn't want you to go so he can use you for a meal ticket? Did you read Rio's story about being taken by a con man? I think it'd be a fun adventure but I'm about taking calculated risks and mitigating any possible negative consequences in advance. Then you can go and really enjoy.
Mary3 Posted April 9, 2006 Posted April 9, 2006 It sounds totally fun. I would have a backup Plan B incase you move in and it doesn't work out like you thought
RecordProducer Posted April 9, 2006 Posted April 9, 2006 Just do it! If anything turns out wrong, you'll pack your bags and leave.
Sand&Water Posted April 9, 2006 Posted April 9, 2006 oh, and I thought you were still involved with that guy of yours... frank (?). I say go and make the most of it!! [You got to have a fun time, or else what would be the point]. Be careful though, you don't want to become a ragdoll.
SoleMate Posted April 9, 2006 Posted April 9, 2006 Just make sure you have an exit strategy, and don't sign the lease!
blind_otter Posted April 9, 2006 Posted April 9, 2006 Please don't flame me. My friend's best friend has asked me to move in with him in NYC. I've only exchanged a few short emails with him and spoken to him on the phone twice. But he is adorable and sweet and totally HOT and easily the funniest guy I've ever known. He's a musician and filmmaker, bless their nonsensical impulsive souls, and is being totally sincere about this. I'm almost sure I want to; I've been wanting to see something new anyway and I was planning a long-term vacation up in New York to see my other friend anyway. Is there anything wrong with just doing something radical on a whim every now and then? Biting the bullet and taking the leap? I'm stifled here, I want a whirlwind romance and here it is, offering itself to me on a plate... but somehow it seems so... insane! Aagh! You can do a quick and easy criminal background check. That's the only thing I would definately recommend. Other than that, go for it.
kitkat826 Posted April 10, 2006 Posted April 10, 2006 Rent in NYC is expensive girl! So even more of a risk there.. Ditto about the lease and con man precautions....i've dated one myself
Author BlahBlahQueen Posted April 10, 2006 Author Posted April 10, 2006 I'm not worried that he's a con man. I have it on good word from his best friend that he's the nicest guy ever, and his best friend is my own friend too. The only thing holding me back is that I've recently gotten involved with Steve again, and he makes me happy. I have tender feelings for him and I'm pretty sure it's mutual. We've gotten pretty close this time around. We actually have good conversation, affection, laughter... the sex is even better and so much more intimate... we're comfortable in each other's company... this all in addition to how sweet, strong, intelligent, witty, gorgeous, et cetera I already think he is... Problem: ticking off the time till he decides to make it official. He promises nothing. In all his rational glory, he doesn't understand how a woman sometimes needs something to latch on to. It is what it is and that's that. I think the familiarity, closeness and fondness are growing, but I'm not a patient person and this is a new experience for me... waiting to grow on a man. I know I should give him the time he needs. It wouldn't be fair to either of us to blow this chance now that it's actually starting to get somewhere. So I'm starting to reconsider the New York thing. It would be dysfunctional of me to pack up and leave just because I need to be loved by someone, anyone, now now now. I like Steve and he likes me but I'm gonna leave with someone I've never met just because that guy proposed to me? Maybe I should stick around and learn for once how things are done in the sane world. That would be new. I remember Alpha once told me that romances that start out fast and fiery end the same way. It would be great if that boded well for my thing with Steve, because God knows we're taking forever. But I'll admit sheepishly that he is the cat's meow and as far as I know him, I would be the luckiest woman alive if he sets his heart on me. That man right there is the grand prize.
JayKay Posted April 11, 2006 Posted April 11, 2006 Nothing kills romance like living together. I'd scrape together some bread and try to get your own place in NYC. Or, you can live in Queens and commute into Manhattan (that's what my BF's brother does...much cheaper)
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