Broken wife needs OW input!

[Sup]

Thank you all for your resonses. Yes, obviously therapy would be best choice, but dont have the $ as insurance wont pay for it. Makes no sense considering all this stress is affecting my health!

 

Asking the "OW" for help is by far no easy chore, but with this forum I know that I will receive honest answers, or seem to. This forum has helped humanize the OW, so I cant look at her as scum. That is by far what my H is.

 

Yes, I found out his yahoo email, found his MSN name (thats how they talked) and all the other crap he hid from me. I guess I was just trying to gain some more insight. I do think he is still talking to her, through IM b/c I keep blocking her name, and it magically comes unblocked.

 

I did hear a voice mail she left...."Hi, its me. Calling to say hi see how you are doing, anyway call me...my # is ...... Oh you know it!"

 

This was AFTER he said he couldnt see her anymore, and she said she understood. I also told my H to tell her if I found out 1 time they contacted e/o that I would tell her husband. (surprise, surprise). He told me he never told her. That was back in Feb. (he said he never called her emailed her back) but I find it hard to believe. I want to tell her Husband so bad, but I am afraid that too much time has passed, and my Husband would leave me if I did. (At this point, I dont know if I care). He does not want to mess up her life. How convient, as they both messed up mine! BUT, I also think it is b/c her Husband is a big guy and could pound the s*** out of him.

 

Anyway, Just venting, maybe wrong forum, but I dont know who,what,when, or where to turn. Sure, my fellow BW can share my pain, but you all can share your experiences in which I can learn from.

 

Nah, not too much time has passed. Tell her hubby, he should know what's going on. Maybe that would make your hubby think twice about messin around on ya. And if he does leave, you'll be better off, rather than having to worry yourself to death, NO ONE needs that. get checked for STD's too.

[Shirazca]

I am OW. I can tell you the man I am with, does not say much about his wife, and the things he does say are very positive. He loves her, and will never leave her.

 

OW are just fill ins, the MM may love us, but not like they love their wives. If your husband is still with you, he loves you very much and knows he has screwed up.

 

As for the OW, it's hard to let go... Always is, but I wish she would leave you and your husband alone. I hope your husband is strong enough to push her away. He sounds like he has a gem in you!

 

It's not important what a MM says to his mistress. It's probably only part truth. His heart is with you

[kkat]

Why is she still contacting him?

 

Many possibilities:

 

Because she can.

Because he allows it.

Because he encourages it.

Because they are still involved, actively or passively.

Because she is addicted.

 

Why is he still allowing it?

 

Because she holds some power over him. Either he is in love with her, in lust with her, addicted to her, afraid of her, afraid of her husband, whatever.

 

He is lying to you about his state of contact with her, as you have just discovered, correct? Throw his tail out and see what happens.

[sylviaguardian]

You aren't the stupidest wife in the world --- except asking for input from the OW on this forum is probably not what you need either. An affair is many times just like an addiction, for both parties.

 

The OW on this forum have all said that they would definitely walk away if the husband said to. That may be true for them, it certainly is not true for many OW. In the course of my life/work I deal with a large number of broken relationships, MM, OW, MW, OM, etc, etc, etc. There are definite patterns.

 

1. The OP and MP are strictly in it for kicks. Neither is attached. When either of those say good-bye, it's taken easily and both move on.

 

2. The OP is in love and the MP is in love. Both are truly in love and attached. When either of those say good-bye, the other will go through a lot of pain, but will make every effort to move on for the good of the other.

 

3. The OP is truly in love and the MP is in lust/control.

if the MP says good-bye, the OP will make every effort to move on.

 

if the OP says good-bye, the MP will REALLY try to pull them back

 

4. The OP is in lust/control and the MP is in love

same as #3, but reversed.

 

5. The OP is in lust/control and the MP is in lust/control

if the MP says good-bye, the OP will often chase and chase not due to love but because they are being denied what they want.

 

If the OP says good-bye, the same goes until they can be back in control again.

 

#5 is also the most common of the relationships, although the least likely to be admitted by either party.

 

What the OW on this forum talk about alot is the MM going on and on after them. Though this does happen sometimes when the MP is CAUGHT in their actions. I have NEVER found it to be true when the MP stops on their own. They have made the choice to quit the relationship. Usually in those circumstances it is the OP that is doing the chasing (but they will make every effort to convince themselves that the MP is chasing/wanting them.)

 

Now, I'm going to say what I always say. Looking for advice is a good thing, but a counsellor is where you need to get it, not from a forum that is devoted to OW/OM. Here you will get additional pain, not help. Try very hard to let go of your pain and move on. Forgiveness is a good thing to exercise. It does not make you a fool, it makes you a wise woman.

 

What a great post target-d!

[target-d]

What a great post target-d!

Why thank-you very much!! I always enjoy reading yours as well.

[officespace]

I have almost all of the development of my relationship with MM in text files (IM all day).

 

When I look back, he most definently pursued. But I did play into it. I teased as well. I guess I didn't take it as seriously as I should have due to the comfortable, close friendship we had from 5 years previous. Similar childhoods, upbringings.....we really opened up to each other. I laughed at first at this "chemistry" because I knew he was dangerous for me. I even told him I was blocking out his B.S. I see how he sucks women in and eventually "owns their soul". I vowed to never me one in his line of victimes

 

But somehow in the process of him convincing himself of his love for me ("if I were not married, I would put a ring on your finger right now. the signs are everywhere. simply, you ARE the woman I have been looking for my whole life, etc.....") I was convinced. He seems sincere and at the time I am sure he was. Actually, though, he did love me. He told all his friends that. I know his whole relationship history. He loved me as much as he could, as much as he understands what love is.

 

From day one, 5 years ago, pre-relationship, he always talked about his marriage as if it were temporary, empty and not real. so when he started to persue me on a romantic level, having him repeating those sentiments did not strike me as odd.

 

I think the men usually pursue. I never once asked him to move out. 2 months into our developing chemistry (we didn't sleep together until he moved out) HE decided to force the issue; not go home two weekends in a row. He always said he never wanted to have an affair with me.

 

But I see that I egged it on, and I didn't draw the line. Good Lord, this is disgusting and hard to admit, but the W was pregnant when we started to "cross the line". What was I thinking? I was raised RIGHT; always in church, I know right from wrong. My only pathetic excuse is that I lost over 100 pounds from the time I first became friends with him and I always had a secret crush on him and knew I could never get a 'guy' like that. He is very smart, Very good looking and Very charming and charasmactic. The fat, insecure girl in me took over and it fed into his 'this marriage is ending' talk. Also, post surgery (gastric bypass), I went NUTS. I think it's thr dirty little secret of GB patients. The delivery system for their vice is taken away (stomach) and we inevitably find a way to feed that demon inside: for me it was drinking, partying and hooking up with guys. I missed all that in high school and early twenties. I was a bit nuts when this thing kicked off. In alot of ways, he pulled me out of that scene. His presence sort of rescued me, gave me the love and attention I craved so much, and I guess that I in turn, fulfilled the needs he had that he felt were unmet. No excuse, still, but some perspective.

 

I agree with the other girls; if he hasn't left you......he has pushed the OW away, albiet weakly, he wants to stay with you. Try to find some comfort in that. My MM pounced on the opportunity to leave. He and the W had comes close to separating 3 or 4 times in 6 years, prior to me.

 

Try to sit down and ask him, "what can i do that I am not doing that would make you happy?" and then he should ask you the same. Figure out what is missing. My MM had no problems telling me what he felt was missing from his M, but he struggled with being honest with her.

 

Chances are though, it's not about what's wrong with you. It's HIM. Best of luck to you, and i will tell you, if I had the chance to tell my MM ex-W that I am sorry and regret my choices, I would in a second. I feel supremely guilty. That is something I will have to live with for the rest of my life. But I made those choices too.

[everyones_target]

I will tell my story and hope you will understand. But, for those who just refuse to accept the fact that all men are not pigs, then such is life.

Several years ago I took a job that took me away from home for weeks at a time. Eventually it did happen that i met someone who was married and looking for nothing but sex. We dated and had almost a year together. During that time we became extremely close emotionally and even talked about marrying when we left our respecive spouses. Thinking back now I cannot believe I even entertained that thought. I even wnet to great lengths to help her get out of her marriage and get a divorce. We set up her husband and he had an affair that he really didn't want and she used that to get out of it. We got him extremely drunk and paid a woman to come on to him and it worked.

My wife did find out and it broke up our marriage. We got attorneys and went through the seperation process. During that time it so happend that my wife and I sat at dinner one evening to talk about things and the future of our children. suddenly we both realized that this is not what we wanted. We talked for hours and at the end of the night we sat and cried together. That night I informed the other woman that it was over and I was going home and going home for good. She first became angry that I could that and leave her all alone. Then I found out that she wasn't alone at all. Many others were in line behind me. But, for some reason she became way to attaced to me.

For several months after she would email, call, drive by, show up at places we were at and she found my cell number. We went to the extreme of hiring an attorney to sned letters to her informing her of an order of stay away. She violated this twice and the nwe sent one last letter and never heard form her again. She had a boyfriend even when she was seeing me. But she was a control freak. She needed to control as many people as she could and that made her feel dominant. When she lost that control, she had no idea how to deal with it and she continued to try and ruin my life. I would not let her.

My wife and I went through counseling and still go once every three months or so. We love each other even more now and through all of it I have learned that taking someone for granted and thinking that no one can live without you is wrong. We have a very open line of communication and she knows all my passwords and email accounts. When I am on the computer she is always there when she wants to be. I leave the computer on and do not clear the history. You see, as a cheating spouse I have to spend the rest of my life proving that i am faithful and DO LOVE HER AND ONLY HER. And I will do it for as long as I have to. But, she doesn't ask or feel she has to. She never checks my email or looks at the phone bill for odd numbers. Maybe she does on occasion, but I can do no more than what I do.

The other woman can sometimes have a hard time letting go because when she has him, she really has him. And she thinks as long as she can control him she pulls the strings. Once I ended it and told her my wife knew and we were working it out she lost control and hated that. She didn't want to see me be sincerely happy. In my case, there was a wolf in a black teddy. Alterior motives are what the relationship was built on until I decided that what I was giving up was worth more.

If you husband is still communicating then step in and stand firm. Try and help him to move away from it. If you do love him and want to have a happy marriage then help him. Don't condemn him.

[zarathustra]

I even wnet to great lengths to help her get out of her marriage and get a divorce. We set up her husband and he had an affair that he really didn't want and she used that to get out of it. We got him extremely drunk and paid a woman to come on to him and it worked.

 

You destroyed her marriage with this nasty ploy and then you had a change of heart? I'm sorry, that's really really dispicable. Don't make it sound like you were doing her any favours because you didn't.

 

You said that she wanted to control you and the situation, but you know what, you 'helped' her destroy her marriage and then you dumped her... if anything, you were the one who took control.

 

Hearing about stuff like this only confirms why a lot of women look at MMs so negatively.

 

Maybe you should re-read what you wrote and see how disgusting your post really is.

 

Congratulations on your marriage. Your wife is one lucky lady.

[Sami_D]

... for those who just refuse to accept the fact that all men are not pigs, then such is life.

 

Not quite sure how your story would lead anyone to believe you weren't a pig..?

[Jessie61]

Not quite sure how your story would lead anyone to believe you weren't a pig..?

 

Yes, my initial reaction was exactly that.... Then I said to myself that I must have misunderstood the whole thing, but perhaps I didn't....

 

I am almost speechless...

[lovernotafighter]

You destroyed her marriage with this nasty ploy and then you had a change of heart? I'm sorry, that's really really dispicable. Don't make it sound like you were doing her any favours because you didn't.

 

You said that she wanted to control you and the situation, but you know what, you 'helped' her destroy her marriage and then you dumped her... if anything, you were the one who took control.

 

Hearing about stuff like this only confirms why a lot of women look at MMs so negatively.

 

Maybe you should re-read what you wrote and see how disgusting your post really is.

 

Congratulations on your marriage. Your wife is one lucky lady.

 

I agree with zara here..the OW should be pissed...look at what she and you did so she could be with you..and I'm sure you encouraged this 100%

 

pretty twisted..does your wife know that part..I think she's might have a change of heart taking you back..blagh!

[everyones_target]

I left out some details here and I understand that you al consider me the pig and degenerate. She was seeing several men at one time. This I found out not long after I went back to my wife. She had no intentions of having any kind of long term relationship with me. I was fortunate to get out when I did. And yes, my wife knows all that happened. I did not hold anythingback and I even shared all emails and letters that were exchanged during this relationship. I know that what I did was not right and absolutley unforgivable as far as some are concerned, but I had a chance to make things right. I know it will never go away, but I will always be greatful for what I have now.

[Torn Up]

I would like to begin by offering you my full support and compassion for the pain you are in, Never.

 

I am an exOW, and I can assure you that I will never again place myself in that role. The pain and devestation affairs bring to everybody involved isn't worth the pretty picture MM often paint for the OW. And believe me, MM are PRO artists when it comes to setting the scene they desire.

 

I will give you a brief account of my affair. MM and I worked together and were good friends for a year or so before the affair began. The affair would have taken flight much sooner if I hadn't avoided his advances as long as I did. I knew he was married, and because I've always stood by my convictions of never getting involved with a married man, I began avoiding him.

 

So, he soon took another route, or rather, decided to "re-arrange" the picture, per se. He made claims that his marriage was basically over, that his wife had a boyfriend...a long-standing boyfriend....and the two of them decided to seek a divorce when their daughter left for college this Spring. Because he and I were friends and shared our interests and passions with each other, he was well aware of what I liked and disliked and played on it.

 

For instance, I am a hiker...have an absolute passion for it. So, he naturally became a hiker as well...claiming that it was a passion of his as well. He also knew I liked chocolate and would often leave chocolate candy on my desk at work. He knew I like Sterling roses...and the next thing I know, I've got Sterling roses being delivered at my door.

 

He became everything I was looking for in a mate. He knew what to say, and when to say it. He knew my passions in life and played on it. He knew my spiritual beliefs and pretended to adopt those beliefs for himself. He cooked for me, listened to every word I said, gave me tender messages after a hard day at work. We laughed together, we cried together. We shared our dreams, hopes, fears and sorrows with each other. We became each other's close confidants...basically becoming the "us against the world" team.

 

And the sex was fantastic. He was always so eager to please...so gentle and passionate. In a nutshell, he became an addiction to me. I began to rely on him, began to trust him as my closest friend.

 

And then came the crashing truth. His W and I met up face to face with him present. She told me that she had never agreed to a divorce, that she does not, nor has ever, had a boyfriend. She told me that she and he were having sex (he claimed they hadn't had sex for over a year, in fact, he was sleeping in the spare bedroom), and that she loved him very much. In return, he told her he didn't love her, hasn't for quite a few years, and that he wanted a divorce and saw himself proposing to me.

 

I will NEVER, EVER forget the deep pain and devestation on this woman's face as he spoke these cruel words to her. And the tremendous feeling of guilt I felt for my part in this woman's ruin just about did me in. She was NOTHING like he portrayed her to be. She was NOT the cold witch he claimed her to be. She was NOT cruel and cunning as he described. Instead, the woman I saw before me was meek, shaking, pleading him to come home with her, to love her, to stay with her...despite the fact that he just verbally spat in her face.

 

As a result, she ended up on medications to help with her extreme anxiety and depression. The teenage daughter ended up sleeping around and staying out late at night. I, on the other hand, cried myself to sleep (when I COULD sleep, that is), every night, only to begin the crying process again in the morning. I felt evil for hurting this woman and this teenage girl.

 

And the only one who gained from all of this?

 

HIM, of course. I sent him back home upon learning the full truth. She, of course, took him back and has since then decided to blame me for the affair because I suppose it's easier for her to take by placing it all on me.

 

I honestly feel compassion for her...and deeply regret the pain it has caused her. But I do NOT envy her for having a H who she can EVER trust again.

 

Incidently...I was affair number FOUR. Something she is fully aware of as it was her that informed me of this.

 

She really is a warm and beautiful woman who deserves MUCH better than him. I wish them well, but I've got my doubts.

 

You ask why she won't leave him alone.

 

Well, two reason come to mind. Either he is still giving her false hope...enough so that encourages her to hang around with the hope of a future with him.

 

Or....

 

You're dealing with a scouraged woman who isn't taking being lied to and strung along very lightly.

 

God only knows what he said to her...what promises he fed her...what kind of picture he painted for her.

 

I doubt that you'll ever know the entire truth. So the only option you've got in this situation is to either leave (separate) from him to sort out your own feelings about your marriage, or...

 

Try to put this behind you and work on your marriage, which isn't easy, I know.

 

In any event, I wish you luck and I hope my feedback helped you in some way.

 

Take care,

~Torn~

[zarathustra]

I left out some details here and I understand that you al consider me the pig and degenerate. She was seeing several men at one time. This I found out not long after I went back to my wife. She had no intentions of having any kind of long term relationship with me. I was fortunate to get out when I did. And yes, my wife knows all that happened. I did not hold anythingback and I even shared all emails and letters that were exchanged during this relationship. I know that what I did was not right and absolutley unforgivable as far as some are concerned, but I had a chance to make things right. I know it will never go away, but I will always be greatful for what I have now.

 

Were any of her 'other men' as 'eager' to help her end her divorce as you were? Its easy to trash someone now that you're not with her, isn't it? Is that what you tell your wife too? That she's loose and that you're fortunate to get out when you did? I'm sure what you told your W is probably what my xMM is saying about me to his W.

[zarathustra]

Torn,

 

I'm so sorry to hear your pain. Isn't it sickening that most MMs will say anything just to get what they want? Everything is about them, about what they need and they will try to get what the WANT regardless of the cost to those aroung them.

 

That is why I think men like ET is such scum. Its not about him when he helps her devise a plan to wreck her marriage and yet, when push came to shove she's the loose one. Its nauseating reading his posts.

 

I'm sure to my xMM and his wife, I'm some loose and stupid whore who would sleep with anyone that swings my way. Its odd because I'm trying to distance myself from him (even sent him an email spelling out boundaries) but each time I do so, he does something to wiggle his way into my life so that he can tell me how he wants to be nice to me and how he's genuinely cares. Like which part of I don't want to talk to you does he not get?

[HokeyReligions]

if she really cares about him

 

Perhaps she cares more about herself and what she thinks she gets from him and that is why.

[zarathustra]

I did hear a voice mail she left...."Hi, its me. Calling to say hi see how you are doing, anyway call me...my # is ...... Oh you know it!"

 

This was AFTER he said he couldnt see her anymore, and she said she understood. I also told my H to tell her if I found out 1 time they contacted e/o that I would tell her husband. (surprise, surprise). He told me he never told her. That was back in Feb. (he said he never called her emailed her back) but I find it hard to believe. I want to tell her Husband so bad, but I am afraid that too much time has passed, and my Husband would leave me if I did. (At this point, I dont know if I care). He does not want to mess up her life. How convient, as they both messed up mine! BUT, I also think it is b/c her Husband is a big guy and could pound the s*** out of him.

 

Anyway, Just venting, maybe wrong forum, but I dont know who,what,when, or where to turn. Sure, my fellow BW can share my pain, but you all can share your experiences in which I can learn from.

 

Never, how are things going? I know for me, I would never call my xMM ourtside of work. He's an ex. I have nothing to say to him. He will not call me outside of work either as he has no reason to. But for some reason, he has the need to find a way to tell me that he cares about me whenever he feels me closing up on him. I don't ask for him to do that.

 

Anyway, I hope that things work out with you. He really may not be doing anything to encourage her behaviour. Who knows. Good luck with your situation.

[whichwayisup]

but I had a chance to make things right. I know it will never go away, but I will always be greatful for what I have now.

 

Make sure your wife knows this! Even if you have to tell her over and over again. Do it!

[everyones_target]

Everyone is so quick to call me scum and defend the OW. If you get involved with a MM then you know what you are getting into. You have heard all the horror stories and yet you still get involved. I could care less whether or not you agree with how my story ended or began or anything about it. But it gives you my perspective.

She was the one who made the call to end her marriage. I did not ruin or destroy her marriage. When it was over wih her marriage she was thrilled. She claimed there was abuse. I saw no signs of that and I do know what abuse is because I am a victim of it. She needed an excuse to get out and then she was completely free. I was a security blanket for her. The one who was always going to be there until I caught on. She had plenty of other men on the dance card to run to, even if you do not believe that.

YES, THERE IS A CHANCE THAT THE OW IS THE ONE WHO IS STRINGING SOMEONE ALONG AND THE OW IS THE ONE WHO CAN BE "THE PIG". AND THAT'S MY SIDE AND I HAVE NOTHING FURTHER TO ADD. I HAVE ALSO COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT MOST OF THE ONES WHO POST ON HERE ARE WOMEN ANYWAY WHO FEEL JUSTIFIED TO BASH MEN AND MAKE THEMSELVES FEEL GOOD ABOUT IT. IT SEEMS TO ME THAT THESE WOMEN NEED TO BOOST THEIR OWN SELF-ESTEEM AND LIKE TO USE MEN AS A CATALIST FOR THAT. I CERTAINLY HOPE YOU FIND WHAT IT SI YOUR LOOKING FOR EVEN IF IT IS AT THE COST OF YOUR PRIDE AND SELF-ESTEEM.

[zarathustra]

Everyone is so quick to call me scum and defend the OW. If you get involved with a MM then you know what you are getting into. You have heard all the horror stories and yet you still get involved. I could care less whether or not you agree with how my story ended or began or anything about it. But it gives you my perspective.

She was the one who made the call to end her marriage. I did not ruin or destroy her marriage. When it was over wih her marriage she was thrilled. She claimed there was abuse. I saw no signs of that and I do know what abuse is because I am a victim of it. She needed an excuse to get out and then she was completely free. I was a security blanket for her. The one who was always going to be there until I caught on. She had plenty of other men on the dance card to run to, even if you do not believe that.

YES, THERE IS A CHANCE THAT THE OW IS THE ONE WHO IS STRINGING SOMEONE ALONG AND THE OW IS THE ONE WHO CAN BE "THE PIG". AND THAT'S MY SIDE AND I HAVE NOTHING FURTHER TO ADD. I HAVE ALSO COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT MOST OF THE ONES WHO POST ON HERE ARE WOMEN ANYWAY WHO FEEL JUSTIFIED TO BASH MEN AND MAKE THEMSELVES FEEL GOOD ABOUT IT. IT SEEMS TO ME THAT THESE WOMEN NEED TO BOOST THEIR OWN SELF-ESTEEM AND LIKE TO USE MEN AS A CATALIST FOR THAT. I CERTAINLY HOPE YOU FIND WHAT IT SI YOUR LOOKING FOR EVEN IF IT IS AT THE COST OF YOUR PRIDE AND SELF-ESTEEM.

I didn't call you scum, Everyone's Target, but in all honesty, I thought it. You are the one who present your situation the way you did and if one can read it negatively, then I don't see how you can put a positive spin to it.

 

No doubt there are evil OW, just as there are evil MMs. I just don't see how your perspective is to shed light on how your xOW was so awful. Ever thought that she was happy to have her divorce because it was one step closer to having a future with you? Ever think that she was with other men because you went back to your wife and she felt it was the only way she could get over you. I'm not saying its right, but desperate people sometimes take desperate measures.

 

In all honesty, if you think that the us women here are bashing men to make ourselves feel better, then you are one shallow s.o.b. You have not really said anything conductive to help those who are here seeking help. All your post has done is show a lot of OW here what you MM are capable of saying after you go home.

 

Why are you here on the OW site? To bash US so YOU can feel better for ruining some other person's life? To justify the guilt that you subconsciously carry with you? To pat yourself on the back? I hope you got what you wanted out of your post at the cost of your own self esteem and pride.

[bullhunter]

YES, THERE IS A CHANCE THAT THE OW IS THE ONE WHO IS STRINGING SOMEONE ALONG AND THE OW IS THE ONE WHO CAN BE "THE PIG". AND THAT'S MY SIDE AND I HAVE NOTHING FURTHER TO ADD. I HAVE ALSO COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT MOST OF THE ONES WHO POST ON HERE ARE WOMEN ANYWAY WHO FEEL JUSTIFIED TO BASH MEN AND MAKE THEMSELVES FEEL GOOD ABOUT IT. IT SEEMS TO ME THAT THESE WOMEN NEED TO BOOST THEIR OWN SELF-ESTEEM AND LIKE TO USE MEN AS A CATALIST FOR THAT. I CERTAINLY HOPE YOU FIND WHAT IT SI YOUR LOOKING FOR EVEN IF IT IS AT THE COST OF YOUR PRIDE AND SELF-ESTEEM.

 

You've got it in one. I never post here anymore due to this fact. But I needed to give you some badly needed support. The women here with very few exceptions are full of themselves and looking for a scapegoat for their own sorry actions. If it wasn't for my wife, I'd forget the lot of them. They're no good trash.

[Sami_D]

Everyone is so quick to call me scum and defend the OW. If you get involved with a MM then you know what you are getting into. You have heard all the horror stories and yet you still get involved. I could care less whether or not you agree with how my story ended or began or anything about it. But it gives you my perspective.

 

Most of the people posting on here don't need to hear the perspective of a MM who acted like a pig... we've been involved with one of our own, thanks

 

As for "you know what you're getting into"... THAT is an enormous stinking pile of BS. NO one who hasn't been the OW has even the slightest CLUE what it is like.

 

Besides which... people don't come looking at forums like this unless they're up to their neck in it... so how could we possibly have known? I didn't know. I had NO CLUE. If I had known... I wouldn't have ever even considered having an affair.

 

So get off your high horse.

[Sami_D]

Why are you here on the OW site? To bash US so YOU can feel better for ruining some other person's life? To justify the guilt that you subconsciously carry with you? To pat yourself on the back? I hope you got what you wanted out of your post at the cost of your own self esteem and pride.

 

Certainly seems that way to me.

 

Posting with the name "everyone's target" and making inflammatory posts on a support board. The phrase 'get a life' springs to mind.

[Sami_D]

You've got it in one. I never post here anymore due to this fact. But I needed to give you some badly needed support. The women here with very few exceptions are full of themselves and looking for a scapegoat for their own sorry actions. If it wasn't for my wife, I'd forget the lot of them. They're no good trash.

 

Excuse me, but this is a support board for OW.

 

Take your arrogant 'all women are scum' attitude and go and do something useful.

 

Posts like this would be deleted IF there was any decent moderation in this place.

[zarathustra]

You've got it in one. I never post here anymore due to this fact.

Thank god almighty for that one. Every post I've read of yours regarding this support forum for OW is how trashy we are. Why don't you go and cry over on the infidelity forum... maybe you may get some consensus over there with some other BSs, but I've been on that forum and there are many there who have something you and the other guy don't have. Its a human trait called COMPASSION.

 

But I needed to give you some badly needed support. The women here with very few exceptions are full of themselves and looking for a scapegoat for their own sorry actions.

It appears that you and Everyone's Target are doing what you two are accusing us OW of doing. Bashing women. Yeah, you guys are real winners... NOT!

 

If it wasn't for my wife, I'd forget the lot of them. They're no good trash.

What does your wife have to do with this? Was she an OW or did you have an OW? Maybe the truth comes out?