delilah32 Posted April 8, 2006 Posted April 8, 2006 sorry for the melodramatic heading, but i am dealing with a deadline of sorts right now. see other posts for particulars of my situation...in a nutshell, an older commitment phobe dumped me once, came crawling back on hands and knees after 3 weeks of NC on my part only to dump me again not long ago. i'm currently doing minimal contact after doing NC for a spell, which led him to begin emailing, calling, etc again. the gist of his messages is that he's "terribly sorry" for hurting me, feels like the most confused pig on the planet, is having a midlife crisis and has dragged me down with him, and that he's still in love with me and heartbroken too. no explicit mention of wanting to get back together, only "i love you" and am sorry for hurting you, do you think we can still have a friendship pleeeese, i don't think i can live without you in my life. also, i detect that he's wanting me to explain/apologize for some fairly scathing things i said in the heat of our break-up ("i think about those things you said day and night") and that he's wanting me to absolve him of his guilt. he's a 50-something baby boomer who grew up in the 70's pseudo-feminist touchy feely alan alda subculture...which, by the way, has only confirmed my suspicions that men who pretend to be feminists can sometimes be the most sinister of all...and i think he's having trouble reconciling that image of the progressive, enlightened man he imagines himself to be with the real deal of who he is. anyway, that's the cynical part of me. the other side of me wants to rise above my own ego, forgive this man, be his friend and get on with my life. the pressing thing now is that he wants to meet me tomorrow to talk about all this stuff! he keeps saying he wants to explain it all in person and that we'll hopefully heal and gain clarity from a face to face. ugggh!!! i don't know what to do!!! i'm not over him, even though i admit that he's not the love of my life and that we are not right for each other in many respects...but then again, i DO miss how compatible we were and i confess, it just burns my blood that he rejected me. TWICE!!! sorry for the manic nature of this email...i'm just really, really afraid of throwing away any progress i've made if things go wrong in a face to face. and i'm afraid that anything short of him falling to one knee again and begging me back is going to be traumatic. on the other hand, i wonder if maybe seeing him will make me go "I got all worked up over this s***??? he's not worth it!!' i just don't know nor do i trust my instincts right now. please help!!
westernxer Posted April 8, 2006 Posted April 8, 2006 he's a 50-something baby boomer who grew up in the 70's pseudo-feminist touchy feely alan alda subculture...which, by the way, has only confirmed my suspicions that men who pretend to be feminists can sometimes be the most sinister of all...and i think he's having trouble reconciling that image of the progressive, enlightened man he imagines himself to be with the real deal of who he is. Of all the things to aspire to, why would a man choose to be a feminist from the '70s? Isn't this when Zepellin was kicking ass?
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