cleo Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 I'm absolutely indecisive of this..... Our child is 2 years old and he and I have been broken up since right after her birth. Lately he's been asking to hang out together, saying it's the right thing for her. I'm not so sure..........thinking that it may confuse her and, possibly, be giving her the wrong idea even though she is so young. Plus, although neither of us has been involved in any other relationship, what would happen if we were. Seems like a wrong idea even moreso. I want to do the right thing.........unsure what that is. Any input much appreciated! CJ
lulu2go Posted April 12, 2006 Posted April 12, 2006 hmm these things are never straight forward huh...Well I would begin how I wanted things to carry on and yep i've been in your situation and I couldn't see me carrying that on for too long. Anything else would just confuse the heck out of my children. Also you mentioned your daughter is 2 yrs old (cute age, busy age but also lots of fun ) and you split right after she was born.. so then i'd say she's used to having her mother or her father separately and till now its been completely normal for her. Why change that now? Quote... "Lately he's been asking to hang out together, saying it's the right thing for her. I'm not so sure..........thinking that it may confuse her and, possibly, be giving her the wrong idea even though she is so young. Plus, although neither of us has been involved in any other relationship, what would happen if we were. Seems like a wrong idea even moreso. " Personally I think you're on the right track here. Hope this is of some help to you. Good luck with you decision
littlekitty Posted April 12, 2006 Posted April 12, 2006 I agree with lulu2go. Unless you feel certain that you can continue that kind of contact, regardless of other relationships or other pitfalls in the future, then that would be fine. But I think the likelyhood of it being possible for the forseeable future is not good, and it will confuse your daughter to start, then stop seeing her together. I have an inkling he perhaps may want to re-start things with you? Could this be part of his thinking?
lulu2go Posted April 12, 2006 Posted April 12, 2006 I have an inkling he perhaps may want to re-start things with you? Could this be part of his thinking? This is an inkling shared...
littlekitty Posted April 12, 2006 Posted April 12, 2006 This is an inkling shared... Yep! The lack of relationships on either side since the split makes me think perhaps he thinks the door is still open? And let's face it, it's a nice 'in' isn't it, playing at happy families, then trying to create that again.
Author cleo Posted April 13, 2006 Author Posted April 13, 2006 Thank you both for your responses as this has been really eating at me. You have no idea how much I appreciate the input. And I actually misstyped........I meant to say that we aren't currently in relationships (I have been in past/broke up a few months ago, but he hasn't been). Ironically, this family time has occured more frequently since my break up (which would add credence to both your inklings). Honestly, for whatever reason, I'm too afraid to even think about him wanting to restart something. Because I miss our relationship....... or rather what it could have been as a family. SO for now I have to concentrate on what is best for her, which would be to limit 'family time'. I'm sad to do that. It's been a mixture of weirdness and happiness to be together as a family. Damn.......why the hell is this depressing me?
littlekitty Posted April 13, 2006 Posted April 13, 2006 Thank you both for your responses as this has been really eating at me. You have no idea how much I appreciate the input. And I actually misstyped........I meant to say that we aren't currently in relationships (I have been in past/broke up a few months ago, but he hasn't been). Ironically, this family time has occured more frequently since my break up (which would add credence to both your inklings). Honestly, for whatever reason, I'm too afraid to even think about him wanting to restart something. Because I miss our relationship....... or rather what it could have been as a family. SO for now I have to concentrate on what is best for her, which would be to limit 'family time'. I'm sad to do that. It's been a mixture of weirdness and happiness to be together as a family. Damn.......why the hell is this depressing me? Cleo, I think you are being wonderfully mature, sensible and a fantastic parent by considering so carefully what is best for your child. I would stick with my inkling that he would perhaps like to try again. And I think you are right in your decision to limit 'family time' until such time as you decide you want to give it another go. Which of course, you should do with caution for your childs sake too. I can understand why it's depressing for you. You've spent time with your ex and child, seens glimpses of what family life could have been like for you. Of course your sad to see that go, and of course it's bought you happiness to be together as a family. After all, isn't it the ideal? What we dream of and imagine all our lives? A happy family. It's sad when that doesn't work out, and of course you are sad to see the ideal go, especially when you miss the relationship. I wish you happiness!
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