girlfriend want to be healthier, but not making it easy

[islandsurfer]

My girlfriend and I have been trying to live a little healtheir recently. With spring here and the warmer weather she is getting self conscious about her weight. We have been going for walks at night and the occasional jog. I make sure I eat healthy around her and she usually mimics me (but not always). I know how she is and if i say anything to her about eating right it will most liklely upset her, so i try to lead by example.

 

It's when she is not around me that she doesn't do anything to help her weight. We will be getting ready for a walk and she will be telling me how "good" she's been about watching what she ate that day then we will walk past her car and you can see the burger king bag in the front seat or the candy wrapers on her desk. It gets worse when we go out on a weekend night and after drinking wants to get something to eat and basically stuffs herself in front of me.

 

It gets agrivating when she complains about her weight, I try to help her be healtheir and she does eat a little beter and go for walks with me, but practically sabtagoes what she has been doing in one sitting. And then the next day professes how she is going to be serious about losing a lil weight.

[bab]

This is a hard situation, and in all honesty, there is probably not much you can do but vent here. Changing your lifestyle is very hard. Maybe start making lunches so she will have no reason to go to BK? Mmmm....BK. This post isn't helping my own diet. Anyway....turning down foods you love for ones you don't isn't fun and it isn't easy.

 

Maybe the two of you could do meal planning for the week, and then calculate calories at the end of the day. She shouldn't be lying to you even if she does cheat.

[catgirl1927]

It sounds like she's really not that committed. Or, maybe she just doesn't know what to do.

 

I know that a lot of people don't realize what they are eating, especially if they have never watched their weight before. Have you guys considered Weight Watchers or something like that with a little more structure? I am not a fan of diet books or fad diets, but I'm a HUGE WW believer. I lost 60 pounds 3 years ago and kept all but about 15 of it off. She might be going to burger king and getting a smaller portion than before and thinking it's ok.

 

It could also be that her weight is tied to a much deeper emotional issue. Men tend to not be able to understand how eating can affect a woman emotionally. WW will also help with that, because as supportive as you're trying to be, you really just don't understand what she's going through. It helps to know there are other people out there who feel the same and that she's not alone. Often understanding your own motivation is the first step to changing it.

[Clair]

What does your diet consist of? It's possible to cook healthy and like it. She is probably not satisfied with the taste of her food or is hungry. May be she doesn't have a clear system of what she is and isn't supposed to eat in her mind. Or may be she simply doesn't consider it important.

[islandsurfer]

I think the problem is that we both don't know what were doing. I've never had to diet, with playing sports year round and exercising, I usually don't watch what I eat. I am one of those people who eats alot and doesn't gain any weight. We are both in college and usually eat at the dinning hall or at a fast food joint around the campus, both places not the best when trying to lose weight.

 

Were not technically on a diet, but my gf has mentioned that she wants to lose weight so I have enourage/instigated nightly walks (well not everynight, just when I am staying over at her place which is about 4 times a week). I know if i use the word "diet" she will just get upset. And at the dining hall I just head to the salad bar and hope she follows, or i cut down on my portions and sometimes she does too.

 

Talking about WW or counting calories would only upset her and she would go on about me thinking she was too fat or not being atracted to her (which is definitally not what I think) Its tricky for me cause I really can't talk to her about it, even when she says stuff like, I need to lose some weight, or mention how out of breath she is when trying to talk to me walking from class to her house.

[Outcast]

Forget 'diet'. It's about adopting a healthy lifestyle and that means eating foods that are good for you. Meaning drop fatty foods, fast food, and foods cooked in fat for starters. Quit eating 'snacks' like chips and cheezies and cakes and doughnuts and eat veggies and fruit. Don't mention 'diet', mention 'adult-onset diabetes', 'heart disease' and 'high blood pressure'. The troubles people get in middle age originate at your age. Now is when to take action to prevent them.