SmilingMartin Posted April 6, 2006 Posted April 6, 2006 Okay girls..picture this scenario In one of your classes, theres a shy and quiet guy that you sit next to every Mondays and Friday. He made some attempts to try and talk to you but has always failed miserably because he always got nervous. The boy isn't exactly what you call hot.. but more on the cute side, built body, shy, quiet and very nice. Also in this class, you hardly smiled because you hated the class so much..but you would smile here and there. At the end of the semester he says your name and pulls you to the side and tells you this "Hey,(insert your name here) I don't know if you've noticed but i've been trying to start up a conversation with you but couldn't because I have a hard time talking to girls. But I did notice something in my attemps to talk to you. You should smile more often because you look so much prettier" What would you girls do if a guy did this to you? Would it be weird? Would you think the guy is a complete wacko? Give some insights please
Lishy Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 He is not weird - You know he is shy and if you like him then make it easier for him! Its unfair to play hard to get with a shy guy! If you like him go for it!
Noos Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 I always hate it when people tell me off for not smiling - usually I'm just thinking about stuff I have to do. Apart from that, he's sounds lovely and yes, you should make him feel more comfortable because he's very shy and it would've taken a huge effort to pull you aside like that. Be nice.
BeFree Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 I hate it when men point out that I'm not smiling. HATE IT. However, that's the first thing my BF said to me when I met him. After I got past that comment, I realized he was a great guy. Men really don't mean harm when they say that. they really are just more at ease and more attracted to women who smile. Women come off very confident and happy when they smile. That's just what men like. I really think you should give this guy a chance.
MadDog Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 I hate it when men point out that I'm not smiling. HATE IT. However, that's the first thing my BF said to me when I met him. After I got past that comment, I realized he was a great guy. Men really don't mean harm when they say that. they really are just more at ease and more attracted to women who smile. Women come off very confident and happy when they smile. That's just what men like. I think it's pretty pompous to tell a girl to smile just because it will make her more attractive to me. Would I ever tell a girl she should wear clothes that show off her ass & tits more? No way. I don't understand why it's any more acceptable to tell one to smile more. It's pretty condescending.
Noos Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 Yes MD - it's like telling a girl to smile because it makes you more comfortable - forget about anything else that may be going on in her life. Maybe her Dad just died or something and she doesn't feel like smiling!
MadDog Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 Yes MD - it's like telling a girl to smile because it makes you more comfortable - forget about anything else that may be going on in her life. Maybe her Dad just died or something and she doesn't feel like smiling! Or maybe she's not smiling cause the guy who told her to smile is a creep & she doesn't want to send him the wrong message. If a girl can be told she should smile more, a guy can be told to make more money because he would become much more appealing. It's about the same thing.
Slapshot2286 Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 I don't agree with that at all. The guy was giving you a compliment by saying that your smile is great. I've done a similar thing before. He meant that you're already pretty, but your smile is amazing. I'd give him a shot...it took him the whole semester to say something to you, that tells you something.
ImWithHim Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 I always hate it when people tell me off for not smiling - usually I'm just thinking about stuff I have to do. Apart from that, he's sounds lovely and yes, you should make him feel more comfortable because he's very shy and it would've taken a huge effort to pull you aside like that. Be nice. +1 to that entire post. As a sidenote (just to vent!) some of us just don't walk around with a dopey smile on our faces all the time. Just because I don't have a fake smile plastered on my face doesn't mean I'm unhappy. That's one of my biggest pet peeves as well!
MadDog Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 I don't agree with that at all. The guy was giving you a compliment by saying that your smile is great. I've done a similar thing before. He meant that you're already pretty, but your smile is amazing. I'd give him a shot...it took him the whole semester to say something to you, that tells you something. It's not the same thing. If that were the case, he should have just said, "you have a nice smile" or "you're hot." Saying "you should smile more" implies there's something she should do to make herself more appealing. Guys who tell girls to smile more are tools. It's no better than telling them they should wear tighter clothing.
BeFree Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 I think it's pretty pompous to tell a girl to smile just because it will make her more attractive to me. Would I ever tell a girl she should wear clothes that show off her ass & tits more? No way. I don't understand why it's any more acceptable to tell one to smile more. It's pretty condescending. Don't get me wrong, I used to completely agree with this. I have given guys the finger for saying this! It makes my blood boil. However, not all guys who say this mean it this way. you have to agree, men are generaly more attracted to a girl who is smiling vs. looking pissed off.
sortafairytale Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 being a shy one myself (although a female), i think most people's responses are a little harsh. sounds like he does have trouble talking to girls and wants to give you a compliament... but in a way that it doesn't sound creepy and make you think he's a wacko. having a conversation with someone is pretty harmless, so you could just talk to him sometime. i know for me, i open up and act normal (as opposed to acting all nervous and weird) when someone is interested in talking to me, asks me questions and all that. that doesn't mean you should/need to try to date the guy or anything. if you wanted to... something you could do is give him a messenger name? instead of your phone number. that way, you can talk to him when you want, and block him if need be. it's more casual and friendly that way. and also. being behind a computer screen would probably make him more comfortable if he really is shy. but yea. just be a little easy on the guy. even if what he said to you was a little lame, you should at least give him an opportunity to make a second impression.
MadDog Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 you have to agree, men are generaly more attracted to a girl who is smiling vs. looking pissed off. Yeah and guys are generally more attracted to a girl that shows of her body (assuming she has a nice one) but I don't think I should tell a girl to start wearing skimpier clothing.
bab Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 So, I think it's probably important to note that SmilingMartin is actually the guy in this situation and is asking if he should do this. So, it's been clearly established that telling her to smile more isn't such a great idea. But how about this alternative: "I just wanted to let you know that I think you are beautiful when you smile." Hopefully that will get her to :D :D Go for it!!
MadDog Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 So, I think it's probably important to note that SmilingMartin is actually the guy in this situation and is asking if he should do this. So, it's been clearly established that telling her to smile more isn't such a great idea. But how about this alternative: "I just wanted to let you know that I think you are beautiful when you smile." You're letting him steal one of my lines.
catgirl1927 Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 If a guy tells me I have a beautiful smile, I will smile. If he tells me I should smile more, it makes me tired. I'm not a Barbie doll. I'm not always grinning like a moron. I have stuff to worry about and I'm not always going to be smiling. Ugh.
typical Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 If he tells me I should smile more, it makes me tired. I'm not a Barbie doll. I'm not always grinning like a moron. I have stuff to worry about and I'm not always going to be smiling. Ugh. :laugh: Its true.....I have ALWAYS hated being told to smile more, as if I should crack a smile for them on command or the earth is going to swallow me up....and they actually INSIST....Which makes it worse! And every time they walk past you, they say "smile"!! WTF, am I in a neverending episode of Full House?! Its unfair to play hard to get with a shy guy! Plus its pretty boring...
catgirl1927 Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 And every time they walk past you, they say "smile"!! WTF, am I in a neverending episode of Full House?! :lmao: :lmao: Awesome:cool:
Author SmilingMartin Posted April 8, 2006 Author Posted April 8, 2006 Yah i should've probably made it clear that i am the guy..and im thinking about doing something like this. I am a very shy guy and im not trying to get into a relationship but trying to not be scared to talk to girls.
Author SmilingMartin Posted April 8, 2006 Author Posted April 8, 2006 You're letting him steal one of my lines. would it be okay if i were to use this line ?
bab Posted April 8, 2006 Posted April 8, 2006 You're letting him steal one of my lines. Well, it's a damn good line!
alphamale Posted April 8, 2006 Posted April 8, 2006 Would it be weird? Would you think the guy is a complete wacko? yes and yes
neek Posted April 8, 2006 Posted April 8, 2006 I agree it could have been worded better, but in your efforts you were trying to give her a compliment, which I'm sure she caught on to, especially if she knows you're shy. How did she react? Wait, did you actually do this already or are you just planning to so far? If you're just planning...definitely go with something more like "I think you're beautiful and absolutely love your smile". Saying "you're so much prettier when you smile" can come off as "you're ugly when you're not bearing teeth". Now....if you already said this and she didn't react well, you could always try talking to her again and tell her you realize what you said didn't come across as how you really meant it, and that you think she's beautiful all the time. I think some people might be overreacting about telling someone they have a nice smile and finding it offensive....I mean, if someone told me I had nice eyes, I'm not going to interpret it as "don't ever blink!!", likewise, if they tell me I have a nice smile, I know they're not trying to say I suck without one. Again though, its in the wording.
Ria Posted April 8, 2006 Posted April 8, 2006 no need to focus on the failed attempts to approach her. no need to mention that (because that would be a little awkward). here's how to approach a girl who you see regularly (in class): start with what you have in common (the class) and comment on that (negative or positive), and let the conversation roll from there. If your first attempt to talk to her leads to a full-blown conversation that's great, but if not that's fine too. The fact that you see her repeatedly really helps. So, maybe the first time you'll only have a quick 10 or 20-second exchange, no big deal. (she'll barely even notice it probably). Then do that again the next class. Then again at the next class, etc., and soon she'll be used to chatting with you, and you can tell her whatever you want to tell her (that you want to get to know her better, or you enjoy having class with her or whatever) and it will feel really natural and comfortable. (on the other hand, if you find that she's snubbing you or brushing you off whenever you approach her, then forget about her and focus on somebody else)
blue636 Posted April 8, 2006 Posted April 8, 2006 I'm not even going to focus on what you told her, Martin, but here's my opinion: That whole entire deal seemed like a cop-out. The whole semester was an opportunity of chances to talk to her, but the chance was postponed until the semester's end. Why is that a cop-out? Well, if she rejects you or embarasses you, the semester is over and you never have to see her again (unless you take classes again together in the future... odds are slim). My girlfriend was into a guy in one of her communications classes and he was also into her. They spent time together outside of class, too. Essentially, they were heading toward the road of a potential relationship. Just a few weeks before finals and a 9-week winter break, I started talking to her. We really clicked and before you know it, I was convinced that I wanted her to be my girlfriend, so I asked her out. By finals week, she and I were "officially" an item, so to speak. What does the other guy do? On the very last day of class he pulls her aside as they leave the door and asks her out on a date. He had all semester long to do this because she gave him all the signs that she was interested -- and she was interested. She still could've picked him over me, especially since they had known each other much longer. But the fact that I was a little more straightforward (and according to her, cuter and more interesting) made the decision for her a no-brainer.
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