I hate how your mind fvcks with your head after a breakup; I wish my ex the best

[MadDog]

Isn't it annoying how after a relatively long relationship (> 1 year) ends, you start forgetting all the bad things about it that made it not work? It leaves you feeling regret--like maybe it shouldn't have ended.

 

Example: It's been about 10 days since my ex and I said our final goodbyes. I was 100% convinced it was the right move. In fact, considering how poorly things were going, I almost felt like I had little choice but to call it quits. Now, all of a sudden, I start second guessing myself. Maybe there was something we could have done to make it work. Maybe she was my last chance at love. Maybe if I called her now, it's not too late and she'll still love me and would give it one last shot to make it work. s***. A few weeks ago there was talk about what our kids would look like. Now the odds I'll never even have kids have gone up a lot--it's rare when I meet a woman I'd consider having a family with.

 

The irony is, I'm not as worried for myself as I am for her. I'm a pretty easy going guy and can get along with a ton of different personality types. I have lots of confidence and I'm going to have a great career soon so I'm sure finding someone that I can at least be pretty happy with won't be too difficult.

 

She's a different story though. Yes she's beautiful with a friendly personality and I'm sure she'll go on a lot of dates. But I think she definately has aspects of her personality that take a lot of patience to deal with in any sort of relationship. Without trying to sound pompous, I felt like I was really good at being patient with her. I'm worried that she'll fall for guys that will get fed up with her and will end up hurting her as a result. I want her to find someone that can make her happy but what if the person that could do it best was me?

 

With my ex before her, I concluded the love was one way and although the relationship lasted much longer, it felt easier to let go. My current ex really loved me though and I know her heart was in the right place. Her issues just made it hard sometimes to do the right thing.

 

I really hope she finds someone she can be happy with--someone who's better for her than even I was.

[jerbear]

I really hope she finds someone she can be happy with--someone who's better for her than even I was.

 

Does not always happen, sometimes they really settle for less.

 

Track you down 5-6 years from now and talk to you out of the blue. After having 2 kids, excess baggage, over the prescribed weight, and still the same person you knew years ago.

[summergirl]

I know how you feel. Time will heal everything. Are you doing NC? You'll find someone new and better sooner or later. Wish you the best.

[MadDog]

I know how you feel. Time will heal everything. Are you doing NC? You'll find someone new and better sooner or later. Wish you the best.

 

Yeah, 100% NC (more her idea than mine.) Thanks for the well wishing. It's hard to meet a quality girl nowadays. My social circle feels like it's getting smaller by the day.

[the_alchemyst]

For some reason I was under the impression that you and your exgf had broken up a long time ago, MD.

 

Anyway, I completely understand what you feel--I feel that way sometimes, too. I just wish my exbf finds a girl he is really happy with, so that he can be truly happy. Sometimes all I want is to say goodbye for good--to let him know that if we ever see each other again, it will be per chance and not on purpose. Sometimes all I want to is his happiness.

 

But the other times I sit her wishing he finds himself someone horrible whom will treat him badly and will make him suffer and whom his family will hate.

 

I know that's incredibly spiteful, but it's true. Sometimes all I want is for him to find someone else that will make him miss me. Sometimes all I want is to see him regret it.

 

But all in all, I'm sure I'll get over it someday, just as I'm sure that you will find someone better than your exgf and that she will find someone better (suited, at least) than you. Either that or you'll realize you were each other's "bests" and you will get back together at some point after realizing this.

 

Either way, I just wish you for the best.

 

Oh, and I have to say that you showing concern for her and her happiness like that is really genuine and admirable.

[MadDog]

For some reason I was under the impression that you and your exgf had broken up a long time ago, MD.

 

Anyway, I completely understand what you feel--I feel that way sometimes, too. I just wish my exbf finds a girl he is really happy with, so that he can be truly happy. Sometimes all I want is to say goodbye for good--to let him know that if we ever see each other again, it will be per chance and not on purpose. Sometimes all I want to is his happiness.

 

But the other times I sit her wishing he finds himself someone horrible whom will treat him badly and will make him suffer and whom his family will hate.

 

I know that's incredibly spiteful, but it's true. Sometimes all I want is for him to find someone else that will make him miss me. Sometimes all I want is to see him regret it.

 

But all in all, I'm sure I'll get over it someday, just as I'm sure that you will find someone better than your exgf and that she will find someone better (suited, at least) than you. Either that or you'll realize you were each other's "bests" and you will get back together at some point after realizing this.

 

Either way, I just wish you for the best.

 

Oh, and I have to say that you showing concern for her and her happiness like that is really genuine and admirable.

 

Thanks for your support. It sure does feel like a lifetime ago. I think it's about 2 weeks now.

 

How and why did you two break up? How long ago?

[KittenMoon]

Bleah, I think y'all are too early into the break-up to be wishing your exes well. Especially alchemyst, after readng all your posts. And this is coming from someone who has great belief in not harboring bad feelings.

 

Right now I wish my ex every lousy girl in the book (see my silly poem http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t85780/)

 

Maybe far in the future, after he has experienced some pain, do I wish him a good girl. But it won't be until I stop wanting that girl to be me.

 

 

And I just want to note I am EXTRA pathetic- I keep remembering all the GOOD and BAD qualities, and annoyingly I miss both.

[witabix]

I get some of your original post MD, the bit about wishing her well, and the personality issues.

 

But you have to look out for yourself too, it gets easier as time passes. I would stop the doting on what ifs, its too late now. Although I still have a few thoughts that are somewhat similar myself.

 

They are pointless though, I saw her the other day, she drove past me on the street, waved and carried on. I was relieved I did not have to speak to her, and I think she probably was too.

 

Time to keep your head down and get on with it I am afraid.

 

Don't believe for a minute that there is no one else out there, for there most assuredly is. Believe me.

[MadDog]

Don't believe for a minute that there is no one else out there, for there most assuredly is. Believe me.

 

Oh, I know she's out there somewhere, the perfect girl for me. All the positive qualities that really do it for me, all the imperfections I could deal with. Whether I'll actually meet her in my lifetime is another story.

[the_alchemyst]

Thanks for your support. It sure does feel like a lifetime ago. I think it's about 2 weeks now.

 

How and why did you two break up? How long ago?

 

You're more than welcome. I just really hope everything works out for you.

 

Ah . . . me and my exbf broke up 3 weeks ago (and it feels like forever). We got into a big fight because of some mood swing that I had (if you will remember, I posted about it . . . it was that one night I stayed over and things got ugly), and then two days later he said he had been thinking about it and that he had come to the conclusion that he didn't want to deal with me anymore, and that that was it--no more second chances. I said "fine" and left while he cried his crocodile tears.

 

Haven't heard from him since. Sigh.

[MadDog]

You're more than welcome. I just really hope everything works out for you.

 

Ah . . . me and my exbf broke up 3 weeks ago (and it feels like forever). We got into a big fight because of some mood swing that I had (if you will remember, I posted about it . . . it was that one night I stayed over and things got ugly), and then two days later he said he had been thinking about it and that he had come to the conclusion that he didn't want to deal with me anymore, and that that was it--no more second chances. I said "fine" and left while he cried his crocodile tears.

 

Haven't heard from him since. Sigh.

 

Well, I doubt that one fight was the only thing that made him want out. Whatever the reason, it's better for you anyway since you don't want a b/f whose heart isn't into it.

 

The important thing is that we learn from this. I've definately learned an important lesson. No insecure chicks for me no matter what.

[witabix]

Oh, I know she's out there somewhere, the perfect girl for me. All the positive qualities that really do it for me, all the imperfections I could deal with. Whether I'll actually meet her in my lifetime is another story.

 

 

I am not much of a soothsayer or anything but....

 

I can tell from your posts that you are a cool guy, you will meet her, if thats what you want to do, it will happen.

 

Chin up, and believe MD.

[alphamale]

its time to move on....there are plenty of fish in the sea. look at this as a new opportunity instead of a setback.

[MadDog]

I am not much of a soothsayer or anything but....

 

I can tell from your posts that you are a cool guy, you will meet her, if thats what you want to do, it will happen.

 

Chin up, and believe MD.

 

Thanks for the compliment & encouragement. Of course I want to meet that girl that's perfect for me, who wouldn't. I guess I'm at a good age now because I could get with pretty much any girl in her 20's (21-29).

 

its time to move on....there are plenty of fish in the sea. look at this as a new opportunity instead of a setback.

 

Yeah, I've been doing exactly that. It's been pretty fun going to the club & playing the "get the hot chick's digits" game. I surprisingly haven't lost a step after over a year of being out of the game. The only problem is most of the time, those girls end up being just a pretty face & I lose interest pretty quickly. Any other good places to pick up quality chicks?