MusicWoman Posted April 5, 2006 Posted April 5, 2006 Okay, I'm probably gonna hear it all from you all... I dated a guy for a year and a half, and we broke up a year ago. (he ended it) I, of course, was heartbroken at the time but got over it completely in about 2 months. We were long distance for a portion of the relationship and he accually broke it off a week before I moved back to NYC. I saw him a few days after to pick up most of my things. Besides being in a relationship, we were best friends. We talked on the phone all of the time. He was stressing to me that he still wanted to be friends....but we both thought best to wait 3 or 4 months before that. About 5 months later, we got into contact and met at his apartment to pick up the rest of my things. We ended up talking for hours about everything..his new girlfriend..how life is going for both of us...and it was completely comfortable. I was really happy he had a girlfriend who was treating him well. Conversation was great and we made plans to get into contact soon to go see some music or something. Well, that was about 7 months ago. I was telling my now fiance that some friends of mine said they hadnt seen my ex at their school for months and I really was just curious to see if he was still alive. I sent him an email asking him so and he responded with a 'yes'. I then asked him how things were going and havn't heard anything back. I guess the thing is, I never thought that we would really never speak to each other again. I mean, it wasn't an angry breakup. No-one did any huge wrong bitchy thing that ended it. I really thought that we would be able to meet up with some people at a bar some night and have it be fine like it was when we hung out and talked months ago. Everyone on LS is big about stressing NC. I just feel like I want to say hi, or have a nice life if I don't see you again or something. My fiancee is fine with this, he understands that I don't have any romantic feelings for the ex at all. I dunno, do you think its okay to just send him one more email and say have a nice life if we don't run into each other? I guess the door for friendship has been left partly opened..and at this point I want to either open it more or close it all together. Thanks
tikigods Posted April 5, 2006 Posted April 5, 2006 I say leave it alone, if he wanted to chat with you he would have, you have opened the door to him from the last email, and sending him another isn't going to get an answer any sooner. Plus the whole "yes" single answer responce makes it sound like he really doesn't want to chat with you. Leave it alone
Author MusicWoman Posted April 6, 2006 Author Posted April 6, 2006 yea, see logically i know this. He is not responding because, he just doesn't want to talk to me. Maybe in my head its some symbolic thing..within myself. By telling him goodbye for good and closing the door...I move on from that whole thing with him. Frankly, I don't even need a responce I don't think. I don't know does that sound crazy? Well..i am crazy...haha
MadDog Posted April 6, 2006 Posted April 6, 2006 Maybe in my head its some symbolic thing..within myself. By telling him goodbye for good and closing the door...I move on from that whole thing with him. Frankly, I don't even need a responce I don't think. I don't know does that sound crazy? Well..i am crazy...haha Don't you think getting engaged was closing the door enough?
Author MusicWoman Posted April 6, 2006 Author Posted April 6, 2006 Don't you think getting engaged was closing the door enough? The relationship door was already closed...the friendship door wasn't. Being engaged didn't/doesn't change that. Anyways, I did send an email last night. Said I wished him the best, and he deserves to be happy (he wasn't happy really last time i saw him) ect. Then told him that I won't be contacting him anymore since it has been made clear to me that friendship is not an option. I also told him that I wasn't looking for a responce, and that wasn't the intention of the email. It wasn't a 'ball is in your court now' kind of thing at all. I just...closed the door all together.
blind_otter Posted April 6, 2006 Posted April 6, 2006 The relationship door was already closed...the friendship door wasn't. Being engaged didn't/doesn't change that. Anyways, I did send an email last night. Said I wished him the best, and he deserves to be happy (he wasn't happy really last time i saw him) ect. Then told him that I won't be contacting him anymore since it has been made clear to me that friendship is not an option. I also told him that I wasn't looking for a responce, and that wasn't the intention of the email. It wasn't a 'ball is in your court now' kind of thing at all. I just...closed the door all together. Those emails are like slaps in the face. I got one from an ex who is engaged now, I was like, gee thanks for the update. Do I care? He had emailed me before. I didn't respond for a reason. I don't talk to ex's. Period. And he sent like 3 or 4 little "notes" after that. Great, thanks for the update that I didn't ask for and never read.
MadDog Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 Those emails are like slaps in the face. I got one from an ex who is engaged now, I was like, gee thanks for the update. Do I care? He had emailed me before. I didn't respond for a reason. I don't talk to ex's. Period. And he sent like 3 or 4 little "notes" after that. Great, thanks for the update that I didn't ask for and never read. That's what spam blocker is for.
Author MusicWoman Posted April 8, 2006 Author Posted April 8, 2006 Those emails are like slaps in the face. I got one from an ex who is engaged now, I was like, gee thanks for the update. Do I care? He had emailed me before. I didn't respond for a reason. I don't talk to ex's. Period. And he sent like 3 or 4 little "notes" after that. Great, thanks for the update that I didn't ask for and never read. FYI...I never told him I was engaged. As far as he knows, or cares, I'm single. He ended the relationship, not me, so i don't see how its a slap in the face either way
whichwayisup Posted April 8, 2006 Posted April 8, 2006 Ex's are ex's for a reason. It didn't end on a horrible note, you two made brief contact...But his life has moved on, he is with someone else now, just like you are and his actions are telling you "you're his past" and he doesn't wish to really keep in contact anymore. That doesn't mean he hates you or doesn't care, he just has a girlfriend and I'm sure out of respect for her, their relationship, it's just not cool to keep intouch with the ex. End of story. Don't worry about it, or make any issues of it. Life goes on...So, enjoy your life, your relationship and forget about the ex.
blind_otter Posted April 8, 2006 Posted April 8, 2006 FYI...I never told him I was engaged. As far as he knows, or cares, I'm single. He ended the relationship, not me, so i don't see how its a slap in the face either way The point wasn't that he was engaged. I don't personally care, but that was his "excuse" for contacting me. I ended my relationship, too. He drove 2 1/2 hours to beg me to take him back and I turned him away at the front door. I didn't even let him inside the house. My point is, what's the point of contacting someone who obviously has made no attempt to get into contact with you? And I have a boyfriend now, who really didn't like me receiving emails from him. He kept threatening to email my ex back to tell him to shut up and stay away from me. The relationship was over. We said everything we needed to say -- when we broke up. I really don't see the point... Which I why I deleted the emails without reading them. Thanks for the update, I wish ya the best, but I could have lived my life quite fine without the emails from relationships of yore.
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