heyduh Posted April 5, 2006 Posted April 5, 2006 My XGF (27) and I (31) recently broke up. My decision, but she pushed me into doing it. For the past few months she has been saying how she feels the need to "befriend" other guys, see other guys etc., and how she doesn't feel the same intensity (in-love feeling) that we both had when we started a year and a half ago. she also constantly reminds me of what I think are relatively unimportant issues that she thinks are so important in having a successful LTR/marriage .. example: her parents don't like me (we live 1000 miles away from them), she is very religious and i am not (it doesn't matter that i completely support and encourage her faith/practices) .. and get this: different diets (she is a vegetarian) … we seemed to be so comfortable with each other, very close friends, great communication, few major arguments, caring … and she always told me how good I made her feel in bed .. etc etc. she just fell out of love and tried to rationalize it with her “lame” excuses … oh well, so I broke up, tried to do the NC thing for a while, after a couple of weeks I left a casual msg on her vmail just saying hi .. she called me back a few days later late at night … and … subtly invites me over to help her with some work that she brought home. We sit down and obviously things are as comfortable as always, it gets late and she encourages me to stay over. We tried to share the bed, but then, we both are like: we should not be doing this .. so I go sleep on the couch (no blanket) and tell her if it gets cold I’ll come sleep next to her… middle of the night say 3am it gets cold and I go sleep next to her, one thing leads to another and … la la la Later on I massage her back/neck head and go back to sleep. There always was a lot of tenderness and warmth in our relationship … We get up and ready to goto work the next morning and …. Nothing weird so far. Later that day after work, she calls me and we’re talking on the phone and she asks if I am ok about last night. And I say sure, but the conversation kind of leads into “us/future” territory again … and she continues the same excuses I mentioned above, but this time adds a new excuse that I say little white lies .. (example: what did you eat for lunch? Me: nothing) which bother her .. and of course that she doesn’t feel that way about me… blah blah blah All of this was yesterday ..i have not contacted her and she has not contacted me. I told her, I broke up with you because I don’t need this – if you don’t want to be with me, you gotta let go. I get the feeling she wants me around but she wants to also explore greener grass etc.. (we’ve done the breakup/makeup thing once before and she got back together) Also her history .. in college she had a bf, on-and-off for 5 years … until one day he got tired and asked her not to contact him anymore .. so I’m thinking, is this a personality issue? Is she just scared to settle down? I know she is not seeing anyone else, even though she may have gone out on random dates with random guys, but I’m pretty certain there is no one else in her life. What do I do? I really love her … I feel she is searching for that dopamine-rush that new lovers have (and we had) … its funny we even read a National Geographic article about it a few months ago and I thought she realized the transient nature of it … but she seems unwilling to let our love blossom into a everlasting true love Or am I just f***ed-up?
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