EclipseLin Posted April 4, 2006 Posted April 4, 2006 Hey! I just recently started dating someone new and am a little confused. I have been with someone for the past 5 years so this dating thing is very new to me. I was just wondering, how long should you wait before being intimate with someone new? I have no idea how long to wait. any advice would be greatly appreciated! And pardon my stupidness to this
Guest Posted April 5, 2006 Posted April 5, 2006 IMHO, it's nuts having sex unless you genuinely care about each other.
RedRose3373 Posted April 5, 2006 Posted April 5, 2006 HI i am in a 1 1/2 month relationship & we already were intimate. There is no set time. The connnection between me & my new man was amazing. I didn't give it up within the first 5 days though. U have to care for someone. You will know when the time is right. There really isn't a set time. I usually wait a minimum of 3 months but this time, it didn't work out that way, it brought us a lot closer. So babe, there really isn't a set time. Just don't do it in the first 3 dates haha
Author EclipseLin Posted April 5, 2006 Author Posted April 5, 2006 lol oh god no! i wouldnt do it that fast! eeesh! i was thinking a couple months just so i know for myself that he really does care about me and isnt in it for the sex. thanks for the advice!!
starlight2025 Posted April 6, 2006 Posted April 6, 2006 I'd wait about 6 months before having sex for the first time.
Author EclipseLin Posted April 6, 2006 Author Posted April 6, 2006 do you mean for the first time ever? or the first time with someone new?
RedRose3373 Posted April 6, 2006 Posted April 6, 2006 6 months is a little too long if its right, & u will know, there really is no time limit I am 33 years old & i waited 3 months with one of my ex boyfriends. When we broke up he told me that he was so used to girls giving it up the first week that when i said i like to wait 3 months minimum, that was a challenge for him. He said that he had to get it from me even if he had to wait 3 months. He was a real jerk!! He was the biggest player ever. It turned out that he had a girlfriend for 10 years at the time we dated & had me on the side for when she worked. So to be honest with u, it really doesn't matter if u wait 1 month or 6 months or a year, if he's a player like my ex was, he'll stay in it for the challenge & just go get it somewhere else. With my new boyfriend, i just knew the time was right. I just got a gutt feeling. We had sex within the first month & i don't regret it at all. It actually brought us a lot closer. Go with how u feel, u will know in your gutt when it is right!
starlight2025 Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 6 months is a little too long if its right, & u will know, there really is no time limit I am 33 years old & i waited 3 months with one of my ex boyfriends. When we broke up he told me that he was so used to girls giving it up the first week that when i said i like to wait 3 months minimum, that was a challenge for him. He said that he had to get it from me even if he had to wait 3 months. He was a real jerk!! He was the biggest player ever. It turned out that he had a girlfriend for 10 years at the time we dated & had me on the side for when she worked. So to be honest with u, it really doesn't matter if u wait 1 month or 6 months or a year, if he's a player like my ex was, he'll stay in it for the challenge & just go get it somewhere else. With my new boyfriend, i just knew the time was right. I just got a gutt feeling. We had sex within the first month & i don't regret it at all. It actually brought us a lot closer. Go with how u feel, u will know in your gutt when it is right! Feelings are not always reliable. Just because something feels right doesn't make it right. There are alot of things in life that do not feel right to me but they have to be done nonetheless like working and filing taxes. Besides the feeling has to be mutual on both sides with having sex. If one of you feels right and the other doesn't then who's right or wrong? I am a guy and sex is not something I play around with. There's alot of ramifications to consider. I'm not the type to do it on the spur of the moment or when it feels right. It must be planned out.
MadDog Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 Besides the feeling has to be mutual on both sides with having sex. If one of you feels right and the other doesn't then who's right or wrong? I am a guy and sex is not something I play around with. There's alot of ramifications to consider. The most important of which is whether it's a holiday because the last thing you want is for your girl to think you're a jerk for trying to have sex with her on a regular day.
starlight2025 Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 The most important of which is whether it's a holiday because the last thing you want is for your girl to think you're a jerk for trying to have sex with her on a regular day. Listen most women already have this preconceived idea that sex is all that guys are after. They almost always assume that is a man's only agenda. The minute we prove them right then they want nothing to do with us. We need to prove them wrong and give them a reason to give us the benefit of the doubt.
MadDog Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 Listen most women already have this preconceived idea that sex is all that guys are after. They almost always assume that is a man's only agenda. The minute we prove them right then they want nothing to do with us. We need to prove them wrong and give them a reason to give us the benefit of the doubt. That's ludicrous. I make it clear from the start that I love sex and enjoy getting lots of it. I've yet to run into a girl who was interested in me but then wanted "nothing to do" with me when she found this out. If anything, the girls respect my honesty. What country are you from? I suspect there might be some cultural differences at work here.
starlight2025 Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 I live in the USA like most everyone else on these boards
blind_otter Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 I live in the USA like most everyone else on these boards Can I just ask you, candidly, without offending you -- do you realize how you present yourself to others? Do you have aspergers ?
starlight2025 Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 Can I just ask you, candidly, without offending you -- do you realize how you present yourself to others? Do you have aspergers ? I'm getting used to the blunt feedback on these boards so take your best shot. And to answer your 2nd question no I don't know how I present myself to others & I don't know what aspergers are.
SmoochieFace Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 Can I just ask you, candidly, without offending you -- do you realize how you present yourself to others? Do you have aspergers ? Now don't be confusing STARLIGHT with yours truly!
blind_otter Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 Now don't be confusing STARLIGHT with yours truly! No, of course not. never.
SmoochieFace Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 No, of course not. never. That's good cuz I'm not a Satanist, I don't engage in sex only on national holidays, and I don't hate whitey.
tinktronik Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 I'm getting used to the blunt feedback on these boards so take your best shot. And to answer your 2nd question no I don't know how I present myself to others & I don't know what aspergers are. Aspergers are like asparagus but the smaller version.
blind_otter Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 I'm getting used to the blunt feedback on these boards so take your best shot. And to answer your 2nd question no I don't know how I present myself to others & I don't know what aspergers are. It's a developmental disorder that makes people unable to read the emotional cues from other people. I wondered why you didn't seem to realize that you seem a bit off with your beliefs, and people are responding to that by being weirded out.
MadDog Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 It's a developmental disorder that makes people unable to read the emotional cues from other people. I wondered why you didn't seem to realize that you seem a bit off with your beliefs, and people are responding to that by being weirded out. I still say he's foreign & it's all getting lost in the translation.
tinktronik Posted April 7, 2006 Posted April 7, 2006 It's a developmental disorder that makes people unable to read the emotional cues from other people. I wondered why you didn't seem to realize that you seem a bit off with your beliefs, and people are responding to that by being weirded out. Its true , Starlight you do seem quite oblivious to emotional tone or cues from others.
blue636 Posted April 8, 2006 Posted April 8, 2006 Hey! I just recently started dating someone new and am a little confused. I have been with someone for the past 5 years so this dating thing is very new to me. I was just wondering, how long should you wait before being intimate with someone new? I have no idea how long to wait. any advice would be greatly appreciated! And pardon my stupidness to this Unfortunately, this question is entirely subjective. I don't think there's any definitive amount of time. I suppose the cliché answer would be, "Whenever you feel like you're ready." If you feel like you might be rushing, then you may be right. It's entirely up to you to decide whether you're ready or not. Everyone is different.
starlight2025 Posted April 8, 2006 Posted April 8, 2006 Both partners have to be mutually ready for it otherwise forget about it. Nobody has the right to pressure their partner to have sex whether it's a man or woman. She has every right to find a friend with benefits if sex is that important to her but she should be honest about her expectations from the very beginning of the relationship as to how soon or how late to have sex.
Guest Posted April 8, 2006 Posted April 8, 2006 Listen most women already have this preconceived idea that sex is all that guys are after. Most of the time it's true.
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