STLguy Posted April 4, 2006 Posted April 4, 2006 First a little background, we're both 21, dating a little over 4 months now, I'm her first real relationship. Recently my GF has gone from being the best girlfriend I could imagine to seemingly disconnected at times. Let me start this off by saying she's always extremely busy, she does have a lot on her slate, but I don't want to make excuses for her. It really started Friday night. She came over and was in an extremely good mood, everything was great, really playful mood, I wish I would have taken advantage of the opportunity now. We ended up leaving because I told some friends we'd meet them at a party, we went for a little bit then came back to my place. I was expecting her to still be in a good mood, but she ended up falling asleep really fast. Next day we had plans to go to a concert. We go to the concert, she pays for the meal we had before hand, everything is great at the concert. Come home and she sleeps almost all the way back to my place, and falls asleep immediately after getting home. Next day she seems kind of detached all day, she generally gets that way when she has something on her mind and I know she had a big test the next day. We drive back to university and she ends up sleeping again all the way home. She wakes up when we're almost back and seems to be in a better mood. A bit playful again, joking around, her normal self around me. I went over to her place tonight and everything started off great. Both in really good moods with good conversation, she showed me something she was talking about on the phone the night before, and we discussed an upcoming dance for my fraternity then the topic turned to a formal for her coed fraternity. She said something how she was planning to go to her formal even though at one point we decided to go to my formal instead of hers. I know she has quite a few good friends in with her so I was suprised she was doing that from the start. I said something like it'll be fun I'll come along just assuming she wanted me to go, I mean it's a formal, generally you get a date for formal. Appairently this isn't what she had in mind. She said something how she was planning to go alone, so I started questioning her. Now I'm not a needy type, really easy going, if she wants to go out with friends or says she wants a night alone I've never questioned it, except tonight. I honestly could not believe she was telling me she didn't want me at her formal. Her reasoning was that she tends to get a bit crazy when she's with everyone from the fraternity, she knows she wouldn't be by me the entire night, and she doesn't want us to get in a fight about something. Which in and of itself I found strange, as we've never really had a fight. I said something how I thought it'd be fun to go, she didn't have to worry about me as I could take care of myself, and I thought it'd be fun to meet everyone from the frat. She said something how she felt her frat was her space, and the time with them she liked to herself. I said something how I've never questioned anytime you've hung out with your friends, and never once tried to invited myself to something you didn't want me to go with you to, but that I really couldn't believe she didn't want me at her formal event. She said something like she's never taken dates to formal events thoughout highschool or her time in college, she's always just done it with friends, but seentually she reluctantly agreed to let me go. We were lying in bed when we were discussing this and of course she fell asleep soon after. After trying to wake her a bit I eventually fell asleep too, woke up not too long after as a friend called her and said they were starting to tow and we were both parked in a towaway zone. She ended up running outside without waiting, and I said something like thanks for waiting really sarcastically aand snappy, which I probably shouldn't have done, but I was a bit annoyed, helped her move her car, then took her back to her place. We talked briefly in the car as I was dropping her back at her place. We spoke briefly about formal again, I told her if she really didn't want me there I not forcing myself, that I've just thought of formal dance events to involve dates and that I was just confused why she didn't want me to go. She said she was fine with my going, though I really don't think that was true. We had plans to do something on Wednesday so I asked her about that, she said she may be busy that night, I said something back to her and she changed from being busy to being available at 8ish. I asked her is something is on her mind, told her I just want her her to be honest with me no matter what, and said something about her sleeping all the time this last weekend, she said she's just really busy and it takes a toll on her body and there is nothing else to it. She gave me the normal kiss goodbye, nothing shorter than usual, 30 second kiss or so, then left. Typing it out now and going through everything I guess it really isn't a big deal, but I don't know. She's just seemed kind of distant this weekend, but it could just be outside pressures on her, but I know something is bothering her. I'd like to get to the bottom of it if it is something in a relationship though. I really hope she's not considering something like a break up, I've never given her a reason to, though if something like that is on her mind I honestly wish she'd just come out and discuss it. I know she's a very independant girl, and we probably do spend too much time together, though I've never tried to keep her from seeing friends. If she wants to do something I know she's going to, and I really don't care to prevent her from seeing friends nor do I get jealous when she asks if I mind. I really don't want to bring something like breaking up myself incase it is just outside pressures on her. I honestly am enjoying myself in the relationship, she's just extremely confusing at times. The times she wasn't falling asleep this weekend were extremely fun and I detected nothing wrong between her and I whatsoever. Tonight was a bad night however, honestly it was the first real disagreement we had in the relationship, and I really just want to get to the bottom of it and fix whatever needs to be fixed. Any advice whatsoever will help. How should I go about finding out if something in the relationship is bothering her, should I discuss it further this Wednesday when we hang out or just drop it and gauge her actions these next few days? Perhaps she was just having a bad week. Thanks a lot for taking the time to read this.
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