brandon Posted April 4, 2006 Posted April 4, 2006 I guess the title is kind of self explanatory, but is there really such a thing as not being ready to date? Or if you really like somebody enough, and that chemistry is just there, timing would never be an issue? In my case, the woman got out of a 4yr relationship about 4months ago. She's interested, but just "not ready" and "confused". That aside, any thoughts? Opinions?
monkey00 Posted April 4, 2006 Posted April 4, 2006 I guess the title is kind of self explanatory, but is there really such a thing as not being ready to date? Or if you really like somebody enough, and that chemistry is just there, timing would never be an issue? In my case, the woman got out of a 4yr relationship about 4months ago. She's interested, but just "not ready" and "confused". That aside, any thoughts? Opinions? who knows. my opinion is possibly she was hurt and doesnt want to deal with disappointment from a potential lover. or plain and simple she's not over her bf yet
riobikini Posted April 4, 2006 Posted April 4, 2006 Brandon, Fours years of being with someone else and having it all breakdown can leave you with alot of things to 'undo'. You don't want to be the guy in the middle of all that 'undoing'. Whether it was an amicable split or all hell broke loose doesn't matter, -she'll have issues to settle. A woman (or a man) does alot of thinking during that time, and goes through alot of strong emotions that keep her/his 'normal' keel a little 'off'. I'd say cool it with her until those last few remaining 'loose ends' with the ex were settled and she could focus some real attention on her romantic life again. And -hey- if you see her out with someone else, -just know that you didn't exactly miss your chance with her...it's probably more like she just gave in to a few pangs of lonliness and grabbed the closest thing nearby...and that isn't a good sign, either: you can actually (if you think about it) feel sorry for the new guy because he'll probably wind up being her 'temporary fix'. Take care. -Rio
kitten chick Posted April 4, 2006 Posted April 4, 2006 Or if you really like somebody enough, and that chemistry is just there, timing would never be an issue? Nah it doesn't work that way. Timing is very important. If she says she's interested but not ready and confused then it's not going to happen at this point. If you're willing to wait it's a possibility but the window of opportunity may close whether you like it or not. It bares repeating, timing is very important in all relationships.
blind_otter Posted April 4, 2006 Posted April 4, 2006 HAH! Timing is everything. You do not want to be rebound man.
MadDog Posted April 5, 2006 Posted April 5, 2006 HAH! Timing is everything. You do not want to be rebound man. Sometimes you do.
Author brandon Posted April 5, 2006 Author Posted April 5, 2006 Too late. I was already the rebound man, the quick fix, whatever you want to call it. We lasted a week and a half. That's the reason she ended things, because she was "confused" and still had things to deal with. That ended about a week ago. We've barely talked since, even though we were going to try to be friends (which is why I was hoping that maybe she'd become ready sometime soon)...But we're both leaving school now, and even though we only live an hour from each other, and I'd be willing to travel, I just don't think it's going to happen anymore..."Timing is key" right? Hahaha. I laugh now, but I still feel like crap about it all :S...
Curmudgeon Posted April 5, 2006 Posted April 5, 2006 Absolutely there's such a thing. I wasn't "ready to date" for two years following my divorce despite a number of rather interested women who were less than subtle about wanting to spend time with me.
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