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Is it me or having a provider


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I've been dating "Lisa" for a few months and things are going well. But our situation is complicated: we both have kids, we both have family living with us (my mom in my case, her brother in hers), and consequently a decision to marry and/or live together is a pretty serious matter. We've talked some and she is leaning towards the "go with your heart" side, which really doesn't work for me -- I wish it were that simple, but it isn't.

 

This is a two-part question for me. First, how can I tell whether she (primarily) wants me or whether she is thinking she has found a solid stable provider for her and her kids?

 

Second, I don't know how to set a timeline for making a decision about living together and/or marriage. What are some guidelines there? I know every situation and relationship is a little different... but I need some ideas on this. I feel that we are compatible, so far there have been no big problems (and we've worked out a few smaller ones), so my heart is giving me a thumbs up. But other than having a gut feel of "it's too soon" I can't say what a reasonable timeframe is.

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